A Moment Too Soon (Yaoi boyxboy)

Yuuichi

I don't think I had ever seen someone's face go pale so quickly. Nowaki looked like he was about to throw up when he saw the game in my hands. I watched as tears formed in his eyes. He whipped around and covered his mouth, holding back a sob. Panicked, I dropped the game and rushed to his side.

"Nowaki? Are you alright?? What is it?" I didn't want to press him with questions like that, but I was honestly kind of scared. He looked like he was in pain. I could see tears starting to fall down his face as he tried to speak. A lot of what was coming out sounded like slurred gibberish, but I finally managed to hear him say,

"Please...not that game." He was frantically wiping at his tears and trying to stop, but it only seemed to make it worse. I looked back at the game, which had been scattered across the floor when I dropped it. Could it have been that him and Kida played it, and it was bringing back bad memories? I looked to Nowaki again, and said,

"Alright. We won't play it, okay?" I could feel my voice tensing up. If he didn't want to play it because of that reason, I felt really bad for pulling it out. I hadn't meant to set anything off...I just liked the game, and it was the first thing that caught my eye. "Here, hold on." I walked to the open door in his room, where I saw a toilet. I ripped some toilet paper off of the roll and brought it back to him. He took it from me and sat on his bed, still wiping his tears. He wasn't letting any sobs out, but the tears still flowed.

I stood there for a second before turning back to the game to clean it up. As I was placing the pieces back into the box, I noticed that one of the little cars had little people in it still. So did the other one. They must not have ever finished their game. I picked them up an examined them. In each car were two male figurines.

It hit me like a ton of bricks as I realized just why Nowaki had been in so much pain. Kida couldn't have been just a 'friend'. They had only met that year, and had grown close instantly to the point that Nowaki completely ditched his other friends to be with him...they spent every day together, secluding themselves from everyone on the rooftop...Kida wasn't his friend. He was his boyfriend. I felt tears prick my eyes as I held that little car.

"I'm so sorry, Nowaki..." I said it quietly, but it was loud enough for him to hear. He looked over at me.

"...for what?" He replied after a moment.

"For this...for not realizing..." I choked on my words, and was unable to finish. He stood and walked over to me, wiping away the last of his tears as he sat beside me.

"It's...it's okay..." His voice sounded kind of weak, and it only made me feel even worse.

"You and Kida..." I watched as he tensed and more tears sprung in his eyes. "...you two were together, right?" After a long, painful moment of silence...he nodded. That's when he started to actually cry, out loud. That ache in my chest that I would get sometimes when I would see him upset suddenly cracked into something painful, and I felt tears fall from my own eyes. 

"I'm sorry, Nowaki." As tears fell on my cheeks, I reached over and hugged him. I wasn't sure if he was going to push me away or not, but I felt like I needed to. Like if I didn't he was going to shatter right i front of me. He didn't though. He didn't push me away...instead, he stayed motionless, just crying. I let him cry...and he did, for a long time. After some time, I let go and he started to calm down. I watched him as he sniffed, just sitting. He picked up on of the little cars and held it gingerly, running his fingertips over the small people inside.

There was a long, long silence as he stared down at it. Then he started to speak.

"...Kida and I..." He started. He looked as though he was going to stop, and he did for a second, but then he started to pour out words to me. He told me his story. He told me about the day he met Kida, and what he was like. He told me all about how he wanted to help him, how he wanted to be there for him, how he felt that he failed at saving him...he told me everything from the bad, to the good. I listened to him the whole time, and I was speechless. There was a lot more to the story than I had thought.

Everything had become so much clearer as he spoke, and the more he told me, the more he looked like he was relieved to finally let it all out. In the end, tears were falling from my eyes silently. With a weak voice, I reached out and grabbed his hand.

"You don't have to feel that pain forever, Nowaki. I'll be here for you."