Hidden Behind Walls

Chapter 29: Lies and a Psychiatrist

I'm updatinggg. I'm updatinggg. Also life update I got contactsss. I keep reaching for my glasses and they aren't there. Like wow it's wild.  Also, I almost poked out my eye because I went to push up my glasses and of course they weren't there. Anyway, thank you guys so much for voting, commenting and reading!!  \(*~*)/

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Clayton P.O.V.

When I stepped into school after Christmas break a dysphoria surrounded me. Or I guess it exuded from my body. I saw things in a much bleaker light. It was like being thrust back into middle school with all my fucked up feelings. Daren tipped toed around me. He still made his regular awful jokes and ranted about Downtowne Abbey. He just didn't push my buttons like he usually would.

You know how bad your situation is when your best friend thinks he can't be normal around you. Everyone's eyes followed me and I wanted to act like I usually did. Except instead of hiding abuse it was all out in the open. Ollivander Gerstein was dead and the whole school knew. I was sporting the bruised eye like a flag that read "MY LIFE IS FUCKED UP".

The details of his death were kept under wraps but it was just a matter of time. My mom's face would be plastered on the news as being his killer. I would be...honestly I don't know. And, since my mind was stuck in the gutter, I didn't even realize when I ran into Ruri. She whipped around in huff, obviously ready to tell me off. Though when she saw my face, her facial expression melted into somber smile. Yet another friend who couldn't act normal around me.

"Hey, pretty boy" Ruri remarked.

"Sorry about that Ruri" I mumbled with a barely there smile.

"It's fine pretty boy" she said with shrug, "How are you holdin' up?"

"I'm fine" I responded. She nodded her acceptance.

"You should really talk to Alric and Bella" she added quickly.

If there was one thing I could count on with Ruri it was her abrasive attitude towards me. That currently wasn't happening right now and it threw me off. The ominous dinging bell interrupted us as it signaled that we needed to get to class.

"Ok" I replied simply and started making my way to AP Physics. I didn't miss the heavy sigh that Ruri emitted before she too started for class.

Stepping into the classroom, consequently my Pre-Cal teacher taught Physics, gave me deja-vu to when I barely knew Ruri, Megan and Raven. Back when Raven adamantly tried to push me away but I stuck around her clingingly. I never really understood why she tried to push me away so vehemently.

I sat in the same exact seat that I did in Pre-Cal. I avoided making contact with anyone in the classroom and layed down my head in waiting. The digital clock read 1:15, and that's when Raven entered. She gave me small smile as she sat down beside me. I could feel her gaze lingering on me for a few seconds before she turned her attention to the board. I shut my eyes again waiting for the bell to ring, but then the question popped into my head again. I don't understand why it was nagging me now. It happened a few months ago and now it was suddenly bothering me. Maybe it was because I had a different mindset back then or maybe it was because I was trying to escape my own problems. So I decided to ask her.

"Hey, doll"

Her head turned towards me.

"When I first met you...you were dead set against me. Why?"

Raven's face blanked out of expression but she slowly answered me. Her words fumbling a little.

"I'm horrible with people. Like literally, I'm so shitty with people. I don't really know how to act around them so I come off as rude. I've become slightly better being around you so I don't think I act as badly as I used to. And then there's other reasons...that are little too deep for me to get into" she responded with her casual grin. Though I could tell she looked uncomfortable. Raven didn't get "uncomfortable"...well..not around me...not anymore. I frowned a little at that.