Hidden Behind Walls

Chapter 36: Normality

Music Recommendations
1. Sky walker - Miguel
2. Nights - Frank Ocean
3. Garden (Say it Like Dat) - SZA
4. if i could i would feel nothing - blackbear

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Raven P.O.V.

It didn't take long for Clayton to catch up with me. He draped an arm over my shoulders, and then pinched my cheek hard.

"You're such an dumb smart person."

"Oww" I whined, rubbing at the stinging spot on my cheek.

"You really think I'd be worried over you having PTSD. Doll, I'm a clusterfuck of problems. I'm kind of offended that you waited this long to tell me."

"But, I didn't want you worrying about me." I replied trying to reason with him.

"Again, you helped deal with my clusterfuck, of course I'd want to help you with your PTSD. Doll, how many freaking times am I gonna have to say I love you before it to actually sinks in. " He scolds.

The bus pulls up slowly in front of us. I grimace. It wasn't that I didn't trust him with knowing about my PTSD. I just didn't like talking about it with anyone. Talking about it meant reliving it, and I couldn't go back to the days of panic attacks and nightmares. We climb aboard the bus, sitting in the very back.

"I know my family isn't the hallmark of knowing what healthy relationships are, but even I know we're supposed to talk about these kinds of things." Clayton remarks with a shrug.

I sigh, "I haven't had any nightmares in years, and, I'm not scared of making contact with people. See, there, we've talked."

I turned my head to look out the window as we made our slow progression back to the mission district. I could see Clayton shaking his head in my peripheral vision.

¨That's not how talking works either."

I plunk my head down onto his shoulder.

"Did Dr.Sibisi teach you that?"

"Hey, hey, hey, Dr. Sibisi is an A+ psychiatrist, 10 out of 10 would recommend. Don't get mad at him. " Clayton says with a knowing smirk.

I sigh once again, "I'm sorry."

"No apologizing, just explanations." Clayton chides.

"But I just did" I whine. Clayton scoffed.

"You sound like me."

I start to tune out slowly, and unintentionally. My eyes wandered off looking at the various people riding the bus. My eyes landed on a girl. Her pitch black, tightly-curled hair haloed around her face. Her glasses looked like they were out of 90's movie, and I peeked at the checkered Doc Marten's that adorned her feet. Most likely she could feel that someone was watching her, cause her head snapped to the left to stare straight at me. She looked over me, and then winked turning her head back to her phone.

I sucked in a breath, and then slowly started to come back to my surroundings. Clayton's voice became clearer, and I could actually register what he was saying now.

"You haven't been listening at all, have you?"

"Huh"

Great, I was surely found out with responding with a 'huh.'

"That's what I thought."

I was most definitely found out.

"I was paying attention! Mostly."