crush // c.d

so he's okay!?

when i walked in, the nurse told me he was still asleep. i sit down pushing the chair closer to him. i hold his hand and kiss it, "you put your life at risk, for me. i love you so much, no one would ever do that for me, but you did. your my hero, you put yourself out there to protect your family." i said crying.

a few hours past, i went to the cafeteria to get coffee. when i get back i see my parents and Gina and sierra. tears start to form when i see gina.

"im so sorry this is my fault your son is here, he was protect me and the twins." i said crying on her shoulder.

"this is not your fault lilly, he cares for you so much" she hugged me tightly. sierra hugs me after then i hug my parents.

i look over to my moms side to see the babies, i smile a little and kiss there forehead which made them smile, wait this SMILED!!

"oh my gosh !! they just smiled!!" i said, then i thought cameron just missed this. i soon started to cry think about him. they hug me until the doctor walks in.

"Family of Cameron Dallas" he said. I walk over to the doctor, "im his fiancé" i said. "im his mom, and this is his sister." gina said

"he's doing fine, he just cant move much. he might have problems sitting up a little, just keep an eye on him. we are releasing him tomorrow, since it wasnt that bad." he said.

i sighed in relief. thank God hes okay. "may we see him?" i said. "yes, but one at a time for now." he said.

he walks away, "lilly you go see him first" Gina said smiling at me.

i walk to his room to see him awake. tears start to fall down my cheeks, "babe dont cry im fine" he said motioning me to come to him. "this is my fault" i said shaking my head. "no no no, this isnt your fault i wanted to protect my family." he said.

i look at him and kiss him. "i love you so much" i said. "i love you much more" he chuckled. "what happened to tammy?" i said.

"I don't know, before you came the doctor told me johnson and jack are talking with the police."

"what why? what happened?" i asked. "they shot the bodyguards, which isnt there fault bc the bodyguards almost shot them." he said.

"WHAT!!" i half whispered and yelled. "its okay lilly they aren't going to jail." he said. i nodded, "well i should let your mom come see you, are you hungry?" i asked. "starving" he chuckled.

"chipotle sound good?" i said smirking. "oh you know me well." he winked. i laughed and walked out.

"you can go in, im going to get some food for him. matt do you mind coming with me?" i asked. matt was just starring at the wall. "matt whats wrong"

"they t-took mayrin, she was abused." he said still not looking at me.

"what!!?" i said crying. "they hurt her lilly, i wasnt there, i wasnt there to protect the love of my life." he said. "matt this isn't your fault." i said calmly.

"its your fault, i had to stay and watch you. ITS ALWAYS BEEN ABOUT YOU LILLY i hate you!" he said standing up yelling. "she wouldnt have gotten abused if i wasnt with her, but no i was watching you! making sure you were okay. EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU. i regret meeting you lilly" he said.

"you dont mean that m-matt" i stutter. "i do. now leave me alone." he said not looking at me.

i get up and left the building. i run outside, to feel the breeze hit me. i sit down on the crib and cried.

"lilly are you okay?" someone asked. i look to see Jack standing beside me. "no im not, im caused all this. mayrin is hurt, cameron is hurt, matthew hates me." i cried even more. "this isnt your fault." he said.

"jack you don't understand, this wouldnt have happened if matt wasnt watching me. he would've been with mayrin. if i kept it to myself none of this would have happened. matthew is right, i only care about myself and always think everything is about me." I cried.

Jack wraps his arms around me and kisses my head.

"I gotta go, i told cameron i was going to get him food." i said not looking at him.

i left and got in my car, once i get to chipotle i order cameron a burrito filled with everything.

i drive back to the hospital and go to his room. "what took you so lo-" he cut himself off "have you been crying?" he said. "no, heres your food" i hand it to him.

"lilly tell me" he said. I sighed. "matthew hates me. this is all my fault, you being in the hospital and mayrin being here." i said wiping the tears off my cheek.

"like i said this isnt your fault. lilly go get some rest at home, take the babies home also. ill be okay here. plus matt is just upset about the situation." he said.

i nodded and walked out, matt looks at me and gets up. "lilly im -" i cut him off. "matthew please, not right now. im still trying to get the words you said to me out of my head." I sighed. "im sorry lilly just let me apologize, im just stressed. i didn't mean anything i said. i love you lilly, your like my little sister" he cried.

"matt I understand but please. not now, i need time, i may be overreacting but your words hurt me way more than anything." i said walking away.

i pick up the babies and walking out the hospital, i get in my car and buckle them up. i drive home and parked. once i take them out i walk to the door and unlock it, i go upstairs to the nursery.

i lay the babies in their own cribs, they really love to sleep. if only i could sleep with all this stuff happening, i just cant.

i walk out and walked into my bathroom, i take off my make up and changed.

right before i was about lay down, hazel began to cry. i walk into the nursery which is across our room. i pick her up, "i know I know shh" i said sitting on the rocking chair. she soon fell asleep so i put her back into her crib.

its currently 11:30 pm right now. i go lay on my bed, about to fall asleep until i got a text from matt.

mattchu 😇😎: im coming over, i cant lose my Bestfriend.

i smile and a tear slip down my cheek. since i trust matt the most out of the boys to take care of the house if we go out of town, he has a key.

i was about to go change bc im wear sweats and camerons shirt, which may i add is huge. matt has seen me in my worst so i dont mind.

i hear the door close, "im here" he said softly. "in my room, and shh the babies are asleep." i said. he walks in and hugs me. "lilly i cant lose you" he said.

"its okay, but your words really hurt me. 'i regret meeting you' or 'i hate you' just keeps going through my mind." i sighed.

"i know, and i dont mean them. like why would i regret meeting someone like you, your my sister basically. we are family. and i would never hate you even if you touch my bagels" (a/n: omg bagels)

I chuckle, "sorry i had one for breakfast" I shrugged. "oh no you didnt girl" he said, he began to tickle me. "Matt stop!!" i laugh, i start to kick around until I accidentally pushed him of the bed.

"you are one strong girl, and oww!" he said holding onto his head. I chuckle.

"im getting tired" i said yawning. "me too" he said. "you can stay in the guest room? or if you want you can sleep on the floor what ever floats your boat" I chuckle. "i think sleeping on a bed is better than the floor" he laughs walking out.

i began to fall asleep. probably like twenty minutes later, alex starts to cry. i groan and get up. i pick him up and rocked him for a while until he fell asleep. i put him down on his crib. i didnt feel like walking back to my room so i grabbed one of their blankets from their closest and fell asleep on the rocking chair.