I Can't Live Without You (Ignazio Boschetto)

Part 11

These last two weeks, I and Ignazio are staying together in his home. The thought of losing him terrified me, and being on his side the whole time helps a bit.

His family has been notified about his condition and they'll take the first flight from Italy tomorrow. He said to me that his sister, Nina, was the first person who knows about it but he made her promise not to tell anyone especially their parents. "I don't want them to worry about me. I don't want to make them sad." that was his excuse.

Tonight, just like any other night, I stay in his place. Piero and Gianluca were here to keep us company, but they went home an hour ago after Ignazio fell asleep. I watched his face and it was so peaceful. It was the only moment of the day when he didn't feel any pain and I'm thankful for it. But that night quickly turn into a nightmare when his body started to move uncontrollably, he was having a seizure.

I started to get panic but keep talking to myself not to. "Panic won't help. Think, Tania, think!" I talked to myself. I quickly grab my phone on the desk and, with my trembling hand, trying to call for help.

"911, what is your emergency?" the woman's voice from the other line started to talk. I explain everything, trying to be as clear as possible and not to cry. She said that help was one minute away.

"What should I do?" I said as the panic wave started to hit back.

"Okay, ma'am. Just calm down, I'll walk you through this." Her voice was so calm and firm. She told me to get him to his side and give him enough space to move. I did everything she said carefully not to hurt Ignazio.

It was the longest minute of my life. Seeing the love of your life in that situation without being able to help is torture. His pain was real and there is nothing I can do to help. I feel useless.

"Igna, it's unusual, even for you, to call me at 2 in the morning. What happened?" his voice was raspy like he just woke up from his sleep.

"I'm sorry Piero, it's me Tania. I must have grabbed the wrong phone." I paused, trying to form a sentence. "Sorry to bother you, but I don't know who else to call." my voice started to sound shaky. "It's Ignazio..."

"Wait, are you crying?" he sounds more alert this time. "Is Ignazio okay?" I told him everything that happened and the more I talk about it, the more tears pouring down from my eyes.

"Where are you now? I'll go get Gian and we'll be there shortly, okay? I'm on my way right now, don't worry."

The doctors are still trying to stabilize him and they told me to wait outside. There were only 4 other people in the waiting room and none of them are talking to each other. I keep bringing myself back to last night, it was the first time I saw him having seizures. We knew it will come eventually but I never thought I'd be that scared. I keep telling myself that I don't want to lose him. I'm not ready, I will never be ready.

It's been more than 30 minutes without any news. My brain started to fill with negative thoughts. It was so hard to stay positive in times like this.

"Tania!" I heard Gianluca's voice and started to look for him. Both he and Piero have finally arrived. They hug me and I tell them everything that happened. I can see from their face that they're worried about Ignazio the same way I do.

"Are you okay, Tani? You look pale." Piero said out of nowhere. "Have you eaten anything?"

"I'm okay," I said without looking at him. His question reminds me that I haven't eaten anything solid since breakfast, just some candy bar and water for lunch.

"Let's get you something to eat," he said like he was able to read my mind. "We don't want you to get sick too, right?" he gave me his hand. I look at him in the eyes and he smile. His smile was so comforting, making me finally take his hand and follow him.

"Here, take it," Gian said, putting his jacket on me. "It's freezing here, we don't want you to catch a cold." "I'll wait here. In case they have any updates." he continues.

***

I open my eyes to the bright light from the window. It was morning already. It felt like I just close my eyes for a second. I look around and saw both Gian and Piero sleep on the couch, leaning on each other, and sharing a blanket. But I get all excited when I see a person lying on the bed look me in the eyes and smile.

"Buongiorno," he said softly. "Am I in heaven?" he tried to throw a joke.

"Oh, God!" I gasped, "No, Boschetto, you're still on earth. Alive and breathing." I hug him tight but carefully not to hurt him.

"No, no. I'm in heaven." he smiled, "Look at this beautiful angel in front of me." he said softly.

"You won't be wrapped in tubes and wires if you're in heaven," I said

"Well, who needs heaven when the earth gives me a beautiful creature like you?" we giggle and it woke both Piero and Gianluca. It was so good to see him joking and laugh like this again.

"I swear to God, Igna, I'll make your life miserable if you do that to me again," I said referring to last night. For sure he didn't remember anything but, he knows what I was talking about.