Curiosity. One of my more prominent traits. And the inability to follow orders. These characteristics aren't always a good match. No wonder Luke was so fed up with my rambunctiousness. This situation was not an exception.
At the same time as I wanted to prevent Luke from making another foolhardy mistake, I was simply just curious of what these boys had to talk over that seemed to be so crucial.
It's like an instinct. I just have to know. I just have to find out. Regardless of the consequences. Which isn't always a good thing. I have gotten myself in trouble because of it numerous times. And it will happen again.
I got closer. And closer. Until the point where I was able to pick up a few of the things they said.
"What are you intentions here?" that was Luke talking.
"Same as yours. Life's not worth living without having a bit of fun" Julian snickered.
"You came here to live your life? I'm sorry to break this to you, but the train for that one has probably left already" Luke didn't display a smile of any sort.
All of a sudden, they turned their heads in my direction. Busted. Luke let out a thwarted sigh before walking leisurely towards me.
"Penny.. How many times do I have to tell you something before it gets to that thick head of yours?" he badgered and crossed his muscular arms across his chest, exuding his annoyance with me.
"As many times as it takes for me to persuade you into telling me what's going on" I cajoled and let my eyes whiz past Julian for a second.
"Don't force me to call you by your full name" he attempted to joke with me, but there was something troubled about his tone.
"Luke, you're not my dad" I removed myself from my relaxed position against the lockers and moved a few notches closer to him.
"Well, I sure as hell could be" he muttered and slipped his fingers unto the ornament that he had given to me.
"What do you mean by that? You're only two years older?".
"Hold on to this, okay? Don't take it off" he muttered, ignoring my question.
"Like this?" I ripped the loose-hanging piece of jewellery of my neck and held it in front of him. "I took it off. You gonna punish me now?" no reaction. He just stared at me with his muted, soft medium green eyes, containing a few flecks of brown in the iris. They reminded me of a deep forest.
"Proving my point" Julian said and took a step closer. Luke seemed to be speechless though. His eyes staring into mine.
I had had enough. I ran down the hallway. Past the chatting students. Past the rushing teachers. Past Danielle. Until I reached the girl's room. My fingers were still clasped around the necklace.
My eyes fell on the reflection in the mirror. Reflecting a panting girl. Me. I looked at it for a moment before disclosing my fist, revealing the black stone with the silver chain.
My heart was still beating loudly inside my chest. I wasn't scared. I wasn't angry. Nor sad. I don't know what I was feeling. I didn't know how to feel. I did't know what was going on, but I didn't have a good feeling about the situation. Something just wasn't quite right..
Danielle entered the room. She must have followed me.
"What are you hiding from?" I turned to her in a quick motion, a little taken aback by her sudden appearance.
"I don't know".
She moved closer, her eyes piercing mine, but I was too flustered to return her gaze. Instead I stared at the sink, not knowing why. Danielle's fingers swept over the pendant in my lifted hand, before carefully releasing it from my grip.
"You should see a doctor or something, you're acting like a crazy person. I talked to Drake, and we're both convinced that the marks on your shoulders are self inflicted" I looked up. I stared right into her daft eyes, with animosity. I felt a mixture of anger and fear well up inside of me, and I coudn't take it any longer.
The necklace fell from Dani's hand, fell to the ground, and landed with a clink, as I stepped in front of her and knocked her to the ground with a growl. Her head hit the bathroom tiles. I was on my knees, positioned over her, my fingers clinging to her collar. I stopped. Shocked. Shocked of my own actions. I jumped off her lifeless body, and hurriedly crawled backwards until my back hit the wall.
My hands were shaking, my breath was trembling, my eyes filled with angst. Blood. There was blood. More blood than I could handle. It was spreading across tiled floor, originated from the back of her head. The semi-precious black gemstone was lying in the pool of deep red fluid. Shining back at me as always.
I let out a sob, followed by another one, as I shakily neared the body. I was on my knees in her blood. I had her blood on my hands. I did it. I hurt her, or worse, killed her. My hands were fumbling to find her pulse, but my uncontrollable sobs were making it quite difficult.
A faint throbbing could be felt beneath my finger tips, but it was getting slower and slower.
"Wake up!" I cried and shook her shoulders desperately, with no result. "Don't fucking die on me! I'm sorry, just don't leave me!" my screams were getting louder. There was only a matter of time before someone would come to investigate, and expose my acts. And I would be doomed. My life would be over. My life as a normal teenager would officially be over.
I stood up, blood dripping from my hands. I looked back at the reflected duplication of myself. A bloody girl with bloodshot eyes was looking back at me. Terrified.
A sickening feeling started erupting in my throat, and I stumbled forwards, my hands meeting the cold bowl-shaped plumbing fixture in front of me. I began convulsing. My stomach muscles started to contract and relax rapidly and repeatedly, my body shaking uncontrollably. Soon, the once so clean and white basin, was filled with the contents of my stomach. And blood, blood that was dripping from my hands.
I wiped the vomit off my lips with my sleeve. The convulsive catching of my breath was getting more rapid and shallow, and got to the point where I ended up hyperventilating.
I felt dizzy, and I had a slight tingling in my lips, and in the tips of my fingers. A strange feeling. It was like everything just began to slip away.
My mouth was so dry it felt like it could start cracking up any minute. My throat was burning, threatening to eject another round of vomit. Sweat beads was forming on my clammy skin and my legs were feeling more burdensome.
I didn't even perceive that the doors to the restroom was opened and that someone burst in. My hearing was impaired, and all I could hear was a mess of voices. My eyes was fixed at my mirror image, and they didn't move even when someone shook me.
My eyelids were getting heavier, and shortly after my legs gave away, and I fell to the ground, landing in the bodily fluid. Facing her immovable body. Through my veiled glance, I could see someone sitting on the ground with her head in his lap. His lips were moving, but my hearing was non-existent by now. I couldn't see who it was.
All of a sudden, her body disappeared from my view. Someone had lifted me in their arms, and I was turned around, my face meeting his warm moving chest. I struggled to keep my eyes open, even though the only thing I could see was a blurry batter of displacing colors.
I was left with a beeping sound and darkness, but I still felt the world around me moving. I was still conscious, but I was close to the edge. Close to disappearing. Close to letting go. I swear that for a second, I could feel the wind in my hair. I were moving quickly, the person carrying me was running. Running fast.
Is this what it's like to faint? Aren't you supposed to fall asleep in a way? Why am I still conscious? I was starting to slip away, slowly but surely. And in a fraction of a second, I was gone.
