Lovesick. - Tronnor ✔️

10.

The next morning I woke up first, I felt Troye's heartbeat as he was still lying against me. I thought about last night and smiled a big smile. My heart did that flippy flop thing inside, that only happens when I'm with him. It only happens when I have feelings for someone. I looked at his beautiful face; his sharp jawline, his cute nose and the birthmark just above his left cheek. I looked at his lips and thought about kissing them. 

'Troye'  I pat him lightly on his shoulder. His eyelids fluttered, 'Good morning' I whispered. He turned around to face me. 

'Good morning,' he said and he kissed me on my cheek. My face immediately turned as red as a tomato. Troye grinned. He sat straight up, leaving my embrace, to my disappointment. He took his shirt off and put on a clean one. I just lied there, not ever wanting to leave.

'You know, we might have to talk about.. you know' Troye said as he put his big round glasses on his nose. They looked so cute, and if he tilted his head to the left it was so sexy. I nodded, we didn't have to act weird about it. 

'Yeah, after school?' I proposed. Troye nodded, 'sure' Then, our moms yelled at us that we had to go. We both got our stuff and climbed out of the tent.

 'Wait,' Troye said, I turned to him and he crashed his lips onto mine.

~~~~~~~~~~

I stared out of the window as we drove past some cornfields, the sky was blue. On any other day, I would have found this boring. I would be counting how many minutes were left until we would arrive home and I would have wifi again. But today I liked the sky and the boring cornfields, mainly because the sky was as blue as the eyes of the boy I had kissed.There was one tiny cloud floating in the sky, It felt like I was still floating on it.

 I didn't even want to go back to school. I just wanted that camping trip to last forever. Luckily, Christmas break was around the corner. I didn't really mind staying having to stay home now, if that meant spending time with Troye. I had my breakfast muffin still in my hand, untouched, I wasn't hungry. My stomach was full of the pink cloud I was floating on. It tasted like cotton candy in my mouth.

 'And, Connor, what did you like best about the trip?' Dad asked, apparently everyone had already said what they liked best, I just zoned out for a minute. I looked up surprised. 

'Oh, I think we all know what Connor liked best' Nicola said teasingly. Brandon grinned, 'It starts with a T..' 

 I rolled my eyes, I felt my cheeks turning red. 'uhm, no.' I said, trying to sound convincing, in vain of course. I hated it when they teased me about things like my feelings, also, how did they catch on so fast?

 'You can't lie to us, you can see it in your eyes when you look at him' Nicola stated, Brandon nodded in agreement. I didn't have an answer or a comeback to that. I hated that my face was always so telling, it ruined my chances on ever keeping anything private.

 'Sooo, did anything happen between you two?' Brandon asked with a sneaky grin., getting straight to the point. 

'Oh please grow up!' I stated, 'no, nothing happened, no, I don't like him.' I said. I was lying through my teeth but if that was what I had to do to get them off my back then so be it. Mom and dad had decided to stay out of the conversation, which probably meant they agreed with Brandon and Nicola. Lukcily my siblings dropped it after they saw how moody it made me and hopefully that also convinced them that I didn't like that weird kid named Troye. 

When we arrived at school Troye didn't get out of the car, he drove away with his parents. I followed the car with my eyes, trying to see if I could lock eyes with Troye's, until it was out of sight. I turned to Tyde, 

'Why-'

 '-The hospital called, he could come in for the scan' he explained. I nodded, hopefully it would all be fine. I assured myself it would be nothing to worry about. But yet, I couldn't help but feel my stomach twisting.

~~~~~~~~~

'Did you survive?' Bethany asked as I walked up to her at lunch, she was sitting there with Joe, Caspar and Oli.

 'Barely' I said, I hadn't told them how amazing it had been. I didn't know why, I guess I just didn't want them to judge me, which was rather weird of me. I didn't know I cared so much about what other people thought. I didn't mind telling Bethany, she would believe me if I said how cute and amazing and normal Troye actually was. It was more the three guys, the three football playing guys, that I didn't want to tell. That would be like social suicide. Like, if my social life were a person, that would be the same as stabbing it. 

'Did your parents kill you for searching the bag?' Joe asked, apparently Caspar had told the whole football team about our "plan". Probably making me the coolest kid in school for the next 5 hours. 

'Yes, therefore I had to stay back the whole trip' I lied, 'and they weren't even drugs' I said, bashing the rumor about Troye. God, it was so cruel of people to start a rumor like that when none of it was true. Like, drugs, that's a pretty big deal. 

'Yeah, I'm really sorry man' Caspar apologized. I waved it away,

 'don't mind it, I'm still here, I still got all my limbs' I said with a grin.'So, how was the party?' I asked, changing the subject. They started telling me all of the crazy things I missed out on, but I couldn't focus, all I could think of was Troye and how his lips touched mine and how I wanted that feeling to be infinite. I didn't know what I was going to say when I would see him later, but I knew I wanted to be more than just friends.

~~~~

When I came home I unpacked all of my bags, which usually takes me like 2 weeks, so I was proud of myself. I was supposed to meet up with Troye, but I didn't know if he was back from the hospital yet. I grabbed my phone, I looked at the date, I remember that I specifically looked at the date not knowing that I would remember it forever. It's engraved into my mind like ink on a piece of parchment. It was Monday, December 15, 4:30 pm. 

I was about to text him, but then he called. My heart warming when I saw his name appearing on the screen. I picked up, 

'Troye? I was just about to text you' I said happily. The other line stayed silent, I heard him breathing, fast inhales and exhales. My stomach twisted as a bad feeling crept up on me. 'Troye?' I asked concerned. I felt in my gut it wasn't right. He took a deep breath, but it felt like he crushed his lungs with it.

'I-it's.. it's a brain tumor..' he uttered with difficulty. 'It's a brain tumor Connor.. ' he cried, his voice breaking. It was like everything fell silent for a few seconds. Nothing but the sound of Troye's sniffles was there at that moment. But then, everything exploded. Like his words only hit me there and then. All at once, the sun rays learned to set fire, the rain drops learned to take over the calm, and the wind learned to scream in silence, and nothing was ever the same again.

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  ♡

xo -J