Lovesick. - Tronnor ✔️

11.

'When can I see you?' I uttered, my face covered in tears. I needed to see him, hug him, kiss him, hold him, hold him in my arms until he felt better. I couldn't be losing him, that just coulndn't happen.  

'Wednesday' he answered. I nodded slowly. It stayed silent. We both didn't want to hang up, or we were forgetting to push that one button because our sniffles were taking up all our attention. I didn't want to let go, I would never let go.

'I have to go Con..' Troye eventually said. I nodded again, not knowing what to say. 

'I'll be there on Wednesday, I'll always be there' I stated, 

'Thank you..' Troye whispered, not wanting his voice to break again, trying to stay strong to make me feel better.  He hung up.

 I stared at my wall, the phone still in my hands. No... I refused to believe it was all real. The doctors had misdiagnosed him before. He wasn't dying. He couldn't be. He seemed so vivid that night. But he was strong, he was so fucking strong. My stomach kept twisting and turning and a river flowing down my cheeks as I slowly realized the boy I was in love with was awfully ill. And it was still a question if he would survive, no matter how strong he was. 

I heard footsteps on the stairs, it was mom. She softly knocked on my door. I didn't respond. She then opened the door, I looked up at her. Her eyes were welled up, she looked a bit startled as she noticed my tear-stained cheeks. 

'You already know..' she said softly. I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. 'Oh Con..' she said as she walked over to me and embraced me in a tight hug. 'I'm so sorry..' she whispered. I hugged her back. I was comforted by her motherly energy, it felt safe. Like she could just place a kiss on my open wound and it would stop bleeding. Like everything would be alright as long as mom was there to make It alright. But she couldn't, she couldn't make that golfball-sized thing in Troye's brain disappear. She couldn't heal him. 

I tried to calm myself down by telling myself there were people out there that could save Troye, people who studied for 30 years so they never made a mistake. They would save him, they needed to save him. He didn't deserve any of this, he was so good, so pure. 

Suddenly I felt sick, my stomach wasn't just twisting anymore but turning upside down. A wave of nausea came over me. I quickly let go of mom and leaned over my trashcan. She rubbed circles on my back, I could hear her sniffling too. 

'I-I'm sorry..' I uttered. I looked up at her, her eyes were puffy. 

'don't be' she said and she hugged me again, as I cried. I cried and I cried and I cried. The tears were unstoppable, like a faucet that was stuck. My brain had become my heart and my heart was blue. I lost track of time, I fell asleep.Sleeping on  mom's lap like a little baby. 

When I woke up for the first time in 7 hours, it was 3:30 AM, and I was laying in my bed. I sat straight up so I could look out of the window, the stars were clear and bright, something my mind wasn't. My mind was full of what ifs and busy trying to push those away. They were the opposite of pain-killers.

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THE BN TRILOGY IS NOMINATED FOR A VMA AND I COULDNT BE HAPPIER! the message it contains is an important one to spread, it better win! Troye is the fucking leader of this new movement and I love that he is starting to recognize this since the finebros did a teens react to the bn trilogy and that one sweet guy cried. 

However, there is something I want to address about this story. There was one comment that said: so this is like TFIOS and other scared comments like omg is he gonna die, (I won't give anything away about any plotlines so no spoilers here) So, this story isn't really fiction. Troye in this story is my cousin. This will probably be the most realistic story I'll ever write, since well, Connor is me( BESIDES THE SEXUAL THINGS OF COURSE) so no, this isn't tfios. 

I'm off to Greece though tomorrow guys, so I don't think I'll be uploading much, I do have some chapters ready of course, and maybe I'll get bored on the plane and write. I won't be taking my laptop with me though so chapters will take longer to type in my phone and shiz but I'll try my best. Just remember that I'm always trying and I love reading comments and shit so I always have my notifications on so I definitely won't forget about this! No worries.

WITH SO MUCH LOVE (like a whole lot)  xo -J