Lovesick. - Tronnor ✔️

16.

'It's Caspar, he wants to talk to you' Bethany said before I reached her. 'Tell him to fuck off!' I yelled. Bethany looked at me and noticed the tears streaming down my face and my sweaty forehead. Her jaw dropped and her eyes were full of concern. She immediately hung up the phone and took me in her arms. She hugged me and comforted me.

Once again, her first instinct was to comfort me, reminding me why she was my best friend. She would just always be there and I knew that, and I would always have her back in return.

She hugged me a bit tighter, 'Come let's go inside and tell me what happened' she whispered. I nodded and let go of her. Her blue shirt was tear stained because of my tears. We walked inside, luckily her parents weren't home.

'Do you want tea?' she asked. I shook my head, 'Coffee' She laughed,

'I don't know why I still always ask' causing me to laugh through my tears, which reminded me again why she was my best friend. She made coffee for me and tea for herself and we went upstairs and sat down on her bed.

I told her what happened, how after PE it was so silent, how they whispered, how they called me names, how Caspar called me names, how they called Troye, how I punched Kian in the face. Tears were streaming down my face again as I repeated the slurs, and thought of how Caspar betrayed me.

And then Bethany told me how Caspar told the whole class; people were talking about my outburst, how they didn't understand, he had accidentally said that I got mad about the filthy faggot slur because I was gay myself. My jaw dropped and my heart sank to my stomach with every sentence she spoke. I had always known Caspar wasn't the smartest but this was just foolish. And it still didn't explain why he turned his back on me.

And then, the doorbell rang. We went downstairs and Bethany opened the door while I waited in the living room.

'You're not welcome here' I heard her say. 'Please Bethany I just wanna talk to Connor!' I heard Caspar's voice, and immediately it was boiling inside of me, I leaned my ear against the wall.

'How could you even do this?!' I heard Bethany whisper. 'They pressured me into it, I had no choice' his voice was trembling. Good, someone feels guilty.

'Really Caspar?' I heard Bethany sigh. 'Yes really' Hs voice sounded begging, I could imagine the puppy-eyes he was displaying.

'Please, just let me talk to Connor, I know he's in there'

I stepped into the hallway. 'Go away Caspar.' I stated, walking towards the door, ready to slam it in his face. I was disgusted at the thought of him, how he had treated me there in that changing room.

'Con..' bethany warned, she could see I was about to have another outburst. I ignored her completely and kept staring at Caspar.

'I fucking hate you. How could you? I thought we were friends' My eyes pierced into his. My words were stone cold. Caspar stayed silent as his eyes welled up.

'I'm so sorry Connor..' He uttered, trying not to break. I snorted, 'Oh I'm sure you are, you fucking asshole'

Bethany's eyes darted between us as she wasn't sure to stop me or not. She agreed with what I was saying but I could tell she felt sorry for Caspar.
Caspar stared at the ground.

'Maybe you should have thought of that before you called me a filthy faggot, hm, maybe that would have been a good idea?' I stated cynically, my arms crossed. Caspar was taken aback by my words and attitude. 'I never want to see you again, goodbye Caspar' I stated and I turned around and walked away. Taking a few deep breaths to calm myself down and not smash every expensive vase in Bethany's living room. I slouched into the couch and grabbed a pillow and screamed into it. I hated myself, I hated Caspar, I hated my life.

----

'The principal called again today, he asked if I could come with you tomorrow? Any idea why?' Mom asked me as I was picking at my dinner. As usual, everyone else was already eating dessert in front of the tv, their phones in their hands. Ohmygod. Hell yes I knew why, Kian had probably showed his bleeding nose to principal howell with Jc standing next to him pleading to get me expelled because I " hit him out of the blue".

I slowly nodded my head. There was no point in lying, she would get to know anyway. 'Yeah, this boy was calling Troye and me some homophobic slurs.. so I punched him in his face and he fell on the pavement.. They probably want me expelled' I said softly, staring at my dinner like I was ashamed of my actions, even though my reaction was really logical, at least to me. Mom raised her eyebrows and sat down across from me. She closed her eyes as she processed what I had said. She clenched her fists and took a deep breath,

'Connor, look at me' she demanded, I looked up. Her eyes were full of fire. 'I. will. destroy. him.' she stated, 'You're my child and nobody hurts my child'

I sat there, startled by her support. I had never expected her to be so blatant about it. But somehow I always knew she had my back, she was mom after all. It was her instinct to protect me.

'Thanks mom..' I said softly. I didn't know why my eyes were welling up but they were. I was just so overwhelmed by all of these events, I just couldn't cope anymore. Mom walked over to me and she gave me a big hug. It felt like my broken pieces were glued back together by her comfort, I smiled through my tears,

'I love you mom' I said, and I realized that that was something I hadn't stated in a really long time. And she realized that too. 'I love you too Condabon' she said, and I could hear her voice crack.

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Posting this now bc I'll know I'll forget tomorrow morning

Xo -J