Solitaire ✔

Chapter Four

"You might want to have dinner?" Rachel stood immobile with a container of food lay in front of me.

Twisting the pen a few circles before I pinched on my nose bridge. The tired feeling had worn me off. Looking at the piles of files that are still pending in my in-tray for my approval. I couldn't bear to see it got stacked up till the next morning.

She tilted her head with worries in her eyes. Still, waiting for me to pushed the work aside and have dinner.

"I brought sushi." Her face lightened with temptation drew on her face.

"Prefer a good back rub instead." I smiled, patted gently on my chair that was enough for two.

Her heels clicked on the wooden floor as she moved herself forward. Settling beside as she started massaging my shoulder. The tense and stiff shoulder had a little relief from her effort. It's like in Heaven. Nothing beats better than a rest with good massage.

After a while she stopped and reminded me about the sushi.

I gave up on the files as I pulled the container across the desk. Lifting up the lid as I saw the unaligned sushi rice hiding beneath the raw salmon.

"You did it?" I looked up at Rachel whom had continued massaging my shoulder.

"Yeah." She acknowledged.

Pulling up a pair of wooden chopstick from the side of the packet as I picked the sushi. Munching in my mouth while the rice dissolve in sweet vinegar taste. It triggered my hunger that I had long forgotten with the pile of work. The salmon was fresh with a dim of sweetness. Chewy but soft in taste.

"Nice?" She questioned as she found me in silence.

With my expression still enjoying the sushi, I almost forgot that she couldn't see my face from behind. Giggled at the silliness, I nodded in agreement. Homemade sushi was not a fan from me but Rachel could make awesome ones.

Suddenly, my phone vibrated again. This time, it was an incoming call from ... Grace.

I stared deep at the name reflected on the screen. Unable to decide how to response to the call. Rachel had stopped the massage and tilted her head forward to see.

"G-race." She read the name out.

"Y-Yeah, Grace." I coughed a bit as I cleared my throat.

Grabbing the phone to my ear as I answered with silence.

"Chris?" Grace greeted.

"Yes?" I replied. It was so awkward for me to talk to my ex-girlfriend in front of my current girlfriend.

"Can we meet out tonight. I... really need a talk." She pleaded like it was so much a favour too.

"I will arrange with you again." Ending the call as I put the phone on the desk. Although her every actions could stir waves and tides in me, I couldn't face myself to felt it.

"Let's go home." I gave up trying. Standing up to retrieve my tuxedo from the coat rack. I waited for her to follow.

She looked quiet. Still, unable to tell her thoughts. Rachel nodded as she started tidying up my desk and switched off the lights. Her bunch of keys was pulled up from her handbag as she twisted a few turns to locked up the office.

Rachel tagged behind as we remain silence even in the car.

Both of my hands grabbed tightly on the steering wheel as the car drove out of the car park. The road was quiet at eight. It might be due to the business district that crowds would only be seen before six. Night lamps dimmer of the atmosphere for darkness.

As we stopped in front of our condominium, I released a big sigh. Unable to find my feelings tonight. Confusion was clipped in being lost.

"Chris, go find her. You need your answers." Rachel spoke with surprise.

I turned to her. Astonished with her understanding.

"Grace, once your love. She left without saying a real goodbye and now she came back. You couldn't understand why." Lower her head as she figured herself into my chest.

She lay quietly against my warmth. Her hand grabbed mine while I felt her cold temperature. She closed her eyes. Listened attentively to my heart beat like it was beating for her every piece of love on me.

"If you can't love me, then love yourselves." She struggled back and looked into my eyes.

Her lips moved the words in sexiness. I had felt deep of my anxiety to love her. But I knew it was not that kind of love I had before. Physical ones that I am ashamed of myself for imagining even a second of Rachel.

Breathing deeply as I cupped her face. We were close in zero distance before I landed myself in darkness. My lips touched hers. It was oily with faded strawberry taste. I didn't know she used flavour lipstick or maybe it was just lip balm. I embraced her as I searched her tongue that was waiting for me. Our tongues twisted and touched. Wet in sense and warm in emotions. I could pour a waterfall of passion if there was a bed beside.

My fantasy ran wild as I searched the skin underneath that white tight blouse she worn. Fingers crawled upwards before I stopped myself.

What was I doing?

Making love to Rachel in the car at public. How shameless have I been?!

I remembered how Grace would pull me near to her for deep kisses as she openly wanted me to embrace her. She would sometimes seduce me with unclipping a few buttons from her blouse or pulled down her zip of her bottom a little as the lacy underlining can be seen. Her bold and daring actions constantly wanted in the park, in the car, in the cinema or just anywhere.

But Grace is Grace and Rachel is Rachel.

Pushing Rachel away as I filled my face with guilt. My hand cupped her chin. Not wanting to look at her lips for a second. Pulling myself over as I drenched that fire which was growing in me ferociously.

"It's okay." She shook her head. Pleading me to stop feeling sorry for her.

"No, I can't. I..." My words were used up. There wasn't a right noun to describe how I am feeling for her now. It was not that love but ... I really do feel for her.

"Chris, let's go back home," She smiled, pulling me back to reality.

Breathing deeply at the unsettled fire in me. I found my way in her eyes again.

"I want to find her." I spoke.

She took her handbag and headed towards the lift. I watched her back. She looked up at the numbers jumping on the screen. A sound alerted as the lift door open. Rachel walked in gracefully as she turned around waving at me.

Two words formed on her lips, 'Good Night'