Kick Vibe [Bucky Barnes]

Tears in town

We drive away from the small airport just outside New York. This is the way only place we could fly in far enough from any government or law inforcement.

I tightly hold the steering wheel, turning my knuckles almost white. Bucky's metal hand hovers over my right one on the wheel and I calm down from the moment he touches my skin. I don't even get why I'm this nervous. Oh, wait... I'm taking him to the cemetery first.

"Is everything alright, doll?" He asks worried. I can just hear it in his voice.

"Yeah." I sigh as I glance to him, "Can I take you somewhere first?"

"Sure." He smiles, while that's the end of the conversation.

I put on some '30s jazz, and Bucky easily sings along, it honestly makes me smile brighter than possible.

We drive for another hour, singing along with the songs which calms my nerves completely, before I stop in front of the Brooklyn cemetery. I take a deep breath as I get out of the car and gestures Bucky to get out as well.

"Why are we at a cemetery?" He inquirs while getting out.

"Let me just show you." I answer and take his metal hand in mine.

I pull him towards the entrance, although I can feel his hesitation. We pass several tombs before we start passing the normal graves.

This place always gives me chills. I've been here more than enough, and it still creeps me out to walk here. I guide Bucky towards a tombstone close to right side of the cemetery.

Rebecca P. Barnes - Proctor
Born 1915
Died 1987
A loving daughter, mother, grandmother and sister

Bucky falls to his knees in front of the tombstone as he places his hand on top of it. He's feeling so sad that I try to shut it out, yet it's too strong to do so.

I place my hand onto his shoulder, squeezing it to try and comfort him. He shakes a little bit as I see tears rolling down his cheeks. When it's already bad to outlive your generation, it's even worse to outlive family and not have seen them grow.

"It took me a long time to locate her and her family." I speak up, "I had like a glimmer of hope that she might have still been alive."

He covers my hand with his and I take it as a sign to go on.

"So, your sister married a guy with the last name, Proctor. They had a son and daughter together, James and Winnie. I located James then, as he's a retired Harvard professor. His two children, Scott and Kimberly, were both very successful in the army. Kimberly then started a New York based family and is still living in the city. Her three children are now all in college or university."

He stands up and turns to me, eyes red and cheeks stained. His metal hand slides into mine and he squeezes it, letting me know more than words can describe. He starts frowning though, and I wonder what he's thinking.

"How did you get all that information?" He struggles with his words.

I let out a small laugh, "I tried it on my own first, but I couldn't access the registry. So, I hacked Friday, Tony's new AI, and used it. He's got lousy firewalls and security systems."

He weakly smiles and embraces me tightly.

"I'm glad you are my family now." He whispers.

My heart leaps when he says it. It's crazy how easily I could believe those words are true. But it is true. In a crazy, yet normal way, the team became my family more than other people in my past ever were.

I tiptoe to reach eye level with him as I lean in to press my lips against his. Sparks go through my body as he tightens his arms around my shoulders, as if he doesn't want to lose me. To be honest, I don't want to lose him either.

He loosens his grip as I take his hands into mine. I peck his lips once more before pulling him to the other side of the side of the cemetery.

"There's a reason why I found her grave that fast." I start explaining as we stop in front of another tombstone.

When I glance to the words written on there, my heart drops and the air around me drops 10 degrees. This will never ever be something that I'll get used to.

Oscar M. Jones
A beloved father to a little angel,
A loving husband,
And the greatest hero in our lives

"Is that your father's grave?" He asks rhetorically.

"He got shot when the bank he was working in, was getting robbed. He tried to be a hero, although the only kind of hero he needed to be, was mine."

He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me so close to him that I could feel his heartbeat against my back. I smile sadly, I haven't let out a single tear since we've been standing here. A personal best.

"I'm pretty sure he loved you with all his heart." Bucky whispers, "Just like I love you with all my heart."

I freeze on the spot. Did I just hear that right? Did Bucky just say that he loves me? A million thoughts pass my brain, a thousand things to say pass my recollection, but none of them make its way out.

Do I even love him? Of course I do.

Then why is it so hard to say it back?

"We should start going." I say instead, my voice hoarse.

"I guess we should." He answers, sadness laced in his voice.

I don't want to break his heart. I need to say it back, but something is just holding me back.

We start walking towards the exit as I slip my hand into his. He doesn't ignore it, but doesn't accept it completely either. I hurt him, and I know that I did. I squeeze his hand while pushing a tear away that has started rolling down my cheek.

When we exit the cemetery, I don't lead him to the rental car. No, I pull him to the corner, where Sam is waiting in a low-key car. We approach it while he rolls down the window of the passenger's side.

"Are you ready?" He asks concerned.

I nod as I turn to Bucky, "I'll see you soon, okay?"

He places his hands on my cheeks and pulls me in for one last kiss. I let my guard down to let all the love that he's feeling for me seep into me. How can one person feel so much for another one?

"I love you, Addy." He whispers as our foreheads connect, "That will never change."

I want him to linger on, to stay a little longer, but he soon lets go of me and gets in the car. Another tear rolls down my cheek and I don't even bother to get it off of me.

"Take care of yourselves, will you?" I proclaim just before they drive off.

Why does this hurt so much?