Loving My Cousin (#Wattys 2017)

Chapter One

The girl in the picture is Fatima
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Fatima's POV
As I walk on the sidewalk from College I plug in my headphones and listen to Quran to calm my soul. For five years I've been hurt and more hurt but it seems strange how it keeps haunting me. A silly fight, a silly argument, and a lot of love since I was 16, but why?

~Flashback~
Back to 2016 when I left Amman with my Mom. It was the day we were going back and might not come back, Mom said maybe but deep down in my heart I knew that we weren't coming for a long time, don't know why I have that feeling but I do and it hurts wallah.

As I was pinning my hijab, my cousin and breastfeed brother came in, Samer.

"Are the bags ready yet ya Fatima, or did you throw them in the garbage not to leave?" He smirks. I shake my head and smile, leaning against the door.

"I wish! But don't worry we might come back inshallah next summer." I had a tone in my voice saying like 'maybe, as in maybe not' tone. Samer looked at me suspiciously and leaned against the door a little.

"And by that tone means you probably won't, isn't that right?" I liked at him, taking all his features in, soaking it all in because of my thoughts of not coming back is haunting me.

"Samer....it's complicated alright? I have my doubts and you have yours, plus there's always a thing called Skype, Facebook, anddddddddd FaceTime." He deeply sighs and let's it out, as I put on my sunglasses on the top of my scarf.

"But it isn't the same ya Fatima. It isn't the same not seeing you everyday, it just isn't." I ignore him and pretended that I didn't hear anything,"Fatima, why do you doubt so much?" I turned to face him and slowly I got upset.

"I don't doubt a lot Samer! We all doubt, it's what humans do! Sure I doubt when someone or something bothers me, but not a lot!" He stares at me and I huff,"your one great of a brother Samer, since you doubt me a lot." The last part I said it with a lot of sarcasm.

"I don't doubt you Fatima....I don't, your the one who's doubting yourself."

"THEN YOU DONT KNOW SHIT SAMER, I DOUBT A LOT BECAUSE I WANT TO! Easy for you to say since your a man." I empathize the word man, he isn't really a man till he acts like one and now he's acting like a teenager all over again.

"WHAT DOES BEING A MAN HAVE TO DO WITH THIS?!" He literally screamed in my face, since I'm now mad mad I'm gonna make it end.

"WHAT DOES DOUBTING ME HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING NOW?!" I fired back. I am raging mad now. I leave and this is how he wants to make me leave, all mad?

"Fatima.....don't make it any more worst." I ignored him and only responded with something that shocked him.

"Don't worry, when I come back I'll probably be dead, so that should make yourself feel better and not worst since your an arrogant prick and all Samer Zaid, I officially hate you." Walking past him and never looking back.
~End of Flashback~

A tear rolled down from my cheek and spilled on the sidewalk. I didn't mean to say 'I hate you' but he pushed it too far and I guess I was a mad sixteen years old. The worst part, the worst part out of all this is that I loved him, yes I loved my cousin Samer Zaid. I loved him! Getting so many proposals and yet I turn down every one of them because I am in love with Samer Zaid, all because of Samer Zaid. Cliché right?

Mama texted me saying we need some groceries, so I turned to the corner and went into the halal store and bought the stuff Mama texted me what she needed. After paying for the groceries I head back home.