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chapter 20

A/n: I know it's literally been a year since I posted something and I don't really have an excuse but I'm gonna start updating more and i know a lot of people like this story so I'll go ahead and keep it going, love you all so sorry it took me so long xx

Sarah

I read the text message and just sat there, I didn't know what to do. I have Ashton now and we're going to be together forever, that's the plan. That's what I always thought would happen, it seems sappy and gross but I love him.

I mean of course I felt that way about calum I mean we've been friends forever and he's so nice and so sweet and I just, I don't know.

I mean I'd have to tell Ashton, I would hate if he kept something like this from me.

I got up and made my way downstairs, I had left my family for two weeks I needed to spend some time with them.

I told my mom everything and my dad too but he didn't really listen. I didn't tell them about cal though.

My mom gave me a hug and reassured me it was only two more months. I nodded in agreement and smiled at her.

I had to go to school tomorrow so I thought I would go to bed kinda early since I didn't sleep much last night.

I went to sleep and slept straight through until I heard my alarm go off. I got out of bed got ready for school, grabbed my keys off the counter and went to school.

not going to lie I was pretty nervous I mean I hadn't said anything to calum since he told me his feelings for me and I would just have to turn him down and it might ruin our friendship. he's just so stupid I mean why now? with Ashton still healing and me being completely in love with Ashton I mean just why now?

he wasn't in any of my morning classes so I didn't have to worry about him until lunchtime so I just sat like a nervous wreck in all of my morning classes dreading when I had to see him.

lunch time rolled around and I took my time getting to the cafeteria, the less time with calum the better.

I arrived in the lunch room and scanned the room to see where he was sitting, he was sitting with some of his other friends so then I did the same and sat with some of my friends.

I was relieved I didn't have to talk to him today because I didn't know what to say to him, at all. I'm so conflicted with everything, but in the end I'm going to choose Ashton I will always choose Ashton I mean he's the love of my life.

I went to my afternoon classes and then school ended and I drove straight home I skyped Ashton while I started my homework for some of my class finals.

I talked to him about his recovery and he was doing great he'd have to have the casts on for a couple more weeks though.

I didn't mention anything about calum though, I just can't wait till the two months are up so I can live in California with aur and reina and Ashton and it'll all be okay. I mean of course I'd want calum to come too but i don't know if we'll every be okay again.

my mom called me down for dinner and I told Ashton id call him back after I ate, then I went downstairs.

I ate dinner with my family and close to when we were finishing up, I heard a knock at the door. I immediately prayed that it wasn't calum I didn't want to do this now.

I went and answered the door because if it was calum I didn't really want my parents knowing.

I opened the door and calum was standing there, hands in his pockets and staring blankly at me.

I shouted back at my parents that it was calum and that I would be a minute because I needed to get this over with.

I shut the door behind me and stepped outside, calum and I walked to my driveway and stood there staring at each other.

"What do you want calum?" I asked looking at him.

"I want something from you, anything. I mean we kissed and I said I was in love with you and you what? you walked away from me without saying a word, I need something sar" he said.

"I don't know what you want me to say, I love you too? Let me dump Ashton and run away with you? because that won't happen." I replied with a little snark.

"Don't be mean to me here Sarah, it's hard for me okay ive been in love with you for as long as I can remember and I watched you fall in love with my friend and when I thought I was finally getting over you she left me alone and I need you Sarah." he declared sadly.

I began to cry not knowing what to say.

"You can't tell me you don't have those feelings for me Sarah I mean we've been friends for so long. I know that you love me too" he took a step towards me as he said that and grabbed my hands in his.

I jerked them away and began to say "of course calum! Of course I loved you, but he's your best friend calum and he's my boyfriend and I love him, oh my god do I love him. He makes my world stop and-" calum held his hand up telling me to stop and turned his head to the side trying to hide the tears in his eyes.

I started again "and this whole thing just makes me so angry because I loved you calum I loved you with everything in me and you had YEARS to say this to me, but you waited until-" calum grabbed my face in his hands and pulled me into a kiss. I didn't have enough in me to stop so I let it happen. It was amazing it was like everything I had trapped inside of me for years was just being freed and it felt so good.

The kiss grew softer and I pushed him away from me and I looked into his eyes with him only standing inches away from my face, and I said with tears rolling down my cheeks "but I'm in love with Ashton"