The Other Half of Me (In major editing!)

CHAPTER 20

CHAPTER 20

***Kristen's POV***

Marcel has invited both boys over today. I understand he is trying to build his friendship but, I don't think I could handle the tension in the house. I don't think Marcel even thinks about 'us' anymore. I want to know that he still does. I want too. I just can't bring myself to believe he is thinking about us. Maybe I just need to take my mind off of everything. I need a place to think. I want to know that I can be safe here, more safe than I already am. I want to call a place home, I can't call a place home if I don't feel safe. I wish Marcel could help me. I want him too, I can't just through this at him, he already has a lot on his plate.

"Marcel?"

"Yeah baby?"

"I'm going to go on a walk."

"Kristen why?"

"I'm going to clear my head."

"Why? Why don't you do that here?"

"Because Marcel, I need somewhere were I won't be bothered and I can get everything off my mind."

"Baby. What do you mean? I don't understand. I thought you could get everything off here."

"I can but, I don't feel safe. I can't be here. Not right now at least. I'm going to go for a walk."

"No baby. Its too late. I already almost lost you, I don't plan on it again. I can't lose the one I love."

"I know Marcel. I don't want to lose you either but, I really need to go for a walk. You are having guest over and I can't do it alone. Please Kristen stay."

I start to cry and hang my head down. I hate this so much. I know he loves me. I really can't hurt him, but the only thing is I don't want to stop him from anything. I can't stay here. I'm going to go somewhere that I know he will find where I am. I just need to go there, there will be the things I need. I stand but, Marcel pulls me down onto his lap. I cry into his shoulder. Thats the only think I know. I don't know anything else to do at this point. I wish I could just tell him everything. Tell him why I don't feel safe. I think he already knows that, but if he doesn't it is killing him not to know why.

"Tell me why you don't feel safe. I want to know what I can do to make sure you always feel safe."

"I-" I start to cry harder. I know Marcel wants to help but, right now the only thing that would help is knowing that he on death roll and won't come back.

"I want you to come with me. I want to go somewhere were I know is safe for now. I need to leave here."

"Where do you want to go?"

"You have to stay until your guest leave. I plan on going to the studio. I just need to pack a small bag. I plan on staying there for a while."

"Kristen what do you expect I tell my mum. I can't just pack my bags like you."

"Well than you could stay here. I need to clear my head. I'm going to go with or without you. I really need to clear my head."

I say and stand from his lap. I head to the guest room to grab my clothes. On my way down the stairs I see Niall. He looks at me and smiles.

"Hey Kristen. How are you?"

"Hi Niall. I am fine. I was going to go to the guest room and get to bed." I lie.

"Oh. Why don't you go to bed in Marcel's room. I bet its still the same since the last time we hung out. I remember he had action figures and posters of science all over his room. It was nice watching him grow up." Once Niall said that I lost it. I couldn't look at him right now.