Shameful Indulgence (In Editing)

Careful Consideration and Exotic Atmospheres

Rebecca's POV

I got home from school beyond frustrated. Jacob was supposed to help me out with my math homework and he bailed on me. If he was in broken pieces today wait until he was in ounces tomorrow. This was the last and only time I let him off the hook for the attitude he gave me earlier.

I walked into my house and saw that my mom was in the kitchen. She had a book in her hand and she looked up as I came in. "Hey, how was school?" she asked watching my every move.

"Terrible as always. Just ready for dinner," I said as I went to the fridge to grab something to eat.

"No tutoring session today?"

"Nope, Jacob bailed on me." My mom's face softened.

"Why?" She turned back to her book and I went into the living room to watch some TV. It was only a matter of time before my mom started asking about Jacob and I didn't want to talk about him. I knew if I did I'd get angry again and rethink everything that went down that afternoon.

"He got jumped up by the soccer team," I answered without a care in the world.

I flipped through the channels when I heard my mom come out of the kitchen. "You gonna help me cook tonight?" she asked as she sat down next to me on the couch.

"On second thought I got a lot of homework to do." I turned off the TV and ran to the stairs. I could hear my mom sighing as I went up to my room. I was so tired of always being the one who had to do things and be responsible for everything. She was a mom for a reason. I didn't ask to be brought into this world. It was hard enough living.

I sat on my bed and went on my phone, scrolling down pics on my Instagram. I saw nothing interesting and went back to my profile. I still had pictures of me and Adam. I didn't want to break up, but he made way too many mistakes and I gave him way too many chances. Now, of course, I still loved him but I hate being lied to. And I knew for a fact that he didn't love me the way he said he did. Did I believe what Caleb said about Adam was true? Yes. Did I want to? No.

I hesitated to delete the pictures since they were memories. The moment I pressed the delete button, I realized how heartless I was. It was for the best; I deserved better. This wasn't the same Adam I met when I moved here. But his arrogance and selfishness was so hot that it became a secret kink of mine.

He was my first boyfriend, but not my first hookup. There was Devin, then Owen, then Andrew. Josh was an amateur, Ryan and Leighton were pros, then there was Nolan, my favorite. And last but not least, Miles. Call me a slut but I had a high sex drive.

The school dance was nearing and I officially had no one to go with. What was better than spending a good Friday night at home with your friends instead of going to some dumb dance? Considering me and Alyssa were on the same page, I knew for sure she wasn't going either.

I exited out of my photos and started browsing through my favorite dating app. Tinder. I had a few matches but they were all guys I knew from school. It was either going to be awkward or really boring, so I decided to give it a rest for now.

Suddenly, there was a ring from our doorbell coming from downstairs. I got up to answer it and found Jacob standing there still bruised up, holding onto his crutches. "Hey," he said, clearly aching from the pain. "You still down for that tutoring session?"

"How the fuck do you know where I live?" I asked, taken aback by his abrupt presence.

"Dylan told me," he said, holding his rib cage. "I was just as confused as you are."

I couldn't believe it. Jacob was here, standing in my living room, looking as broken and lost as ever. But there was something different about him too. He seemed more confident now like he had finally found his place in the world. "Come on," My momma said, extending a hand to help him inside. "Let's go get some ice for that rib."