What About Us

RELIEF | ELEVEN

[Tris] 

My finger skims over the houses on my phone, while my lunch sits in front of me on my desk. I'm looking to move out, but first I want to get consolation from my mother. Christina said he should move out because it's my house before his and I'm the one with the children, and I couldn't agree more.

I look up and see the skyline out of my large window, a dark gray coating the sky as the chilly October wind breaks the leaves off of the trees. 2 months since I met Tobias and a month of us having sex. Eric and I don't even look at each other, I can't remember the last time we talked and I hope that tonight I can tell him to get his crap and go.

I swing my chair back around and a gurgle forms deep in my stomach and nausea washes over me. My feet drag me to the bathroom quickly and when I open the bathroom stall, my lunch reappears for almost 10 minutes. I stand back to my feet instantly feeling lightheaded, I flush the toilet and go to the skin to wash my face and rinse out my mouth.

I take a deep breath and leave the bathroom, feeling grateful no one had to use the bathroom and would walk in on me. I, sadly, throw away my lunch and I close my eyes, feeling ill. I hope I'm not sick and passing it on to the kids.

The day goes by pretty long, my stomach doing somersaults the whole time. I haven't thrown up since lunch, mostly dry heaving. But, since there wasn't any substances in my stomach so there wasn't a reason to. My limbs moved as if I were trying to escape tar and when I arrived home, and the girls were still sleeping, I feel into bed and followed right behind them—into a deep slumber.

+++

My, now, 7 month old baby giggles at Tobias and we dine in on lunch. Yesterday was the day Eric left me, and I needed something to get my mind off of him other than sex. I'm still feeling kind of ill from Monday and I don't want to overexert myself.

I still remember the anger in his eyes with very little guilt flashing through them, and I can sadly feel the sting of his hand on my cheek.

Flashback:

The fall breeze skims over my body as the stars shine above. Out here is where I can relax while the kids sleep in their rooms. Dinner was extremely quiet and if it weren't for London making jokes then we would have ate in silence.

"I'm going to bed, lock up when you come inside." Eric mutters as he turns around but I stop him, "What?"

I take a deep breath and gain my thoughts that I've been thinking about all day, "It's time for us to move on, you obviously are better off without me. But, I have kids that I need to look after and I don't want them to see the example you are setting," He walks over me and towers above me, but I don't back down, "That being said, you need to pack up your things and move somewhere else because this is not only unhealthy but it's frustrating. Don't keep yourself somewhere you don't want to be—"

"Have you asked yourself why I want to leave?" He folds his arms over his chest, switching his weight on his foot to the other and I remain silent, "You don't treat me like your husband, you ignore me and give your attention to everyone except me. Yes, Tris, I cheat on you everyday and I'm happy I do. And don't try and give me some sappy story because I know you are doing the same with me, you can try and shower as much as possible, but I still smell the cologne."

I roll my eyes at him, "He treats me better than you. What kind of dad cheats on their partner and neglect their kids." Anger is pressed firmly into his face and I smile, "You're turning just like your father—" Before I can register it, a tingly pain is on my cheek and I try to catch myself as I fall onto the ground. I gasp as I realize that he just slapped me and I kick my foot up quickly to his groin. He falls to the floor and I go inside, throwing his bag at him that I already packed for him.

"Get the hell out of my house and don't return, divorce papers are coming your way soon." I slam the door in his face and collapse on the floor in a mess.

End of Flashback:

Tobias helped me so much this morning, when I told him what happened, I needed him to calm down and go to the hardware shop to get new locks for all of the doors and windows. He stopped by first to get measurements and kissed 'away' the faint hand print on my cheek. He makes me feel so welcomed and warm, when I saw him on the other side of the door I couldn't help but to fall in his arms and cry, when I saw him I felt so strong yet so returnable that I just needed to share my emotions with him.

When he finished doing the doors, he suggested that we get our minds off of things and take the girls out to the park and have a late lunch with them. They played for a while on the playground and now we're having lunch together. Tobias helped me put together a delicious meal together from the items in my fridge and I couldn't help but to notice how good of a cook he is, we made grilled-cheese sandwiches with shredded chicken on it with chips on the side, watermelon with lime zest, salt, and a little bit of sugar and lastly a quick toss salad that was literally tossed together.

"Tris." I feel someone nudge me and I come back to earth, Tobias gestures to Camryn who is babbling away at the mouth and on her hands and knees, rocking back and forth trying to crawl. I gasp and smile, she looks up at me and notices that I'm looking at her and falls on her side making me laugh and she lets out a cry.

I pull her in my arms and chuckle quietly to myself, "Mommy, I hungry." London pouts and Tobias opens the basket.

"Well, you're in luck because your mommy told me everything you like and we made it." Tobias tells her and her eyes light up and she sits beside him while they dig through the basket. I honestly thought that London would not like to be around Tobias because he's new to her. But, she warms up to him and does a good job being around someone new like him. It's like, now that she see's him a lot, she know's what to expect. Camryn is even content in his arms, he gives off such a calming spirit, that you feel safe around him.

I look into Camryn's diaper bag and fine her food. Since she's 7 months, I need to start her out with solids, "What is Camryn going to eat?" Tobias asks, making my own plate. And at the sight of the food on the plates, my stomach lets out a low grumble. . . the first time in forever.

"My baby is going to eat a pear, kiwi, pea, and spinach mixture and if she doesn't like that then I have a mango and lime mixture." London wrinkles up her nose and I laugh at her, she sadly looks just like Eric and I feel my heart clench for a second. Tobias, Camryn, London, and myself have a great lunch together, laughing and lounging on the blanket under this beautiful, large, tree, eating watermelon. This feels right and I'm in a complete state of bliss knowing that all of my problems are over, hopefully, and I can have relief.