What About Us

INQUIRY | FIFTEEN

Nausea overtakes every sense in my body as I lay on the couch. Less than ten minutes ago I was spilling my guts into the toilet and Tobias was holding my hair back. Half was because of the morning sickness and other half because of the nerves of tonight, today is the day that I meet Tobias 'family' and I couldn't be more nervous. So nervous, that I called out of work today because I let a small thought get away from me like a horse who saw a snake.

Then, thoughts of telling my poor family that I am pregnant with a child that isn't Eric's sits right in the front of my mind. No matter how hard I try to forget it, it still sits there. I can still see the disappointing look on my father's face and the pity of my mother―and that only brings more nausea.

My eye caught movement walking out the kitchen and there was Tobias walking towards me with a cup of ginger tea with steam coming from it and Camryn in his other arm. I tried keeping London here with me but all she wanted to do was bake cookies with grandma which made me remember that I'm dropping Camryn off there, "You okay?" He wasn't just talking about my health or the baby, he was talking about my feelings and emotions.

I nodded my head, "Why?" We both knew why, yesterday I told my parents that I was pregnant again and it wasn't Eric's child to claim. He was referring to the small lunch at Grand Lux Café with my parents to announce the new addition.

After scolding my dad for continuously feeding London fried pickles, the entrées had just came. During the actual lunch was when I was going to tell them, I've never been so upset to see the waiter with our food. And when he set me my Lemon Chicken Piccata with pasta in front of me, I couldn't even lift my finger.

"Are you okay?" Mom asked, her own fork in her hand that's stained with white wine sauce. I tear my eyes away from Camryn who's gnawing on a cool teething ring and pretty content.

Now is the time, I thought. They seemed pretty happy to meet Tobias, hell, dad spent 30 minutes talking about lu-lu bell—the old 1970 challenger he's been working on since I was a baby. So, what are the odds that I tell them that I'm pregnant with Tobias' baby and in the midst of my divorce I was sleeping with him.

"I'm pregnant." I ripped the band aid off pretty damn quick that it still stung when I saw the fallen faces of my parents, "And it's Four's child." This is why I chose a restaurant, if we would have ate at my house, my dad would have his hands around Tobias' throat by now.

"I'm gonna be a big sidder!" London snaps everyone out of the trance of quietness and I couldn't be happier, "Are you happy?" She tilts her head to the side, looking at her grandparents with her eyebrows furrowed like Eric would usually do.

Mom clears her throat and places her fork down, "Yes, I'm very excited," It doesn't reach her eyes at all, nor her wavering voice, "congratulations, excuse me." She stands up and walks to the bathroom. I sigh and quickly following behind her, regret washing over me when I realized that Tobias was left with my father who can barely look me in the eyes—at least he has the girls.

I swung open the door and sighed out of relief when I saw that the bathroom was clear. She was standing there, leaning against the counter, rubbing her face and I felt bad that I wasn't responsible. Maybe if I fought a little harder, I could've saved my marriage and would carry Eric's child and spare us all the mistakes and time.

"Pregnant! Beatrice, I didn't raise you to be a whore," her words stung like an angry bee. But, I needed that—I needed to hear the reality of things no matter how harsh, "How far along are you?" She questioned a look of anger and distress washing over her.

"8 1/2 weeks." I couldn't even find my voice at the moment. It was long gone until we left this restaurant.

She threw her hands in the air and let out a frustrated sigh, "Almost three months. So, while Eric was cheating you stooped down to his level and cheated too?" I remained silent, "Beatrice, I understand that you are still very young. But, you have two beautiful daughters and you can't show them that type of lifestyle. Do you understand me?"

I nod.

"I'm very disappointed in you, but I'm willing to look past that." A lone tear fell down my eye and she solemnly wiped it off my face. I bit my lip from crying out and running to the parking lot, "Its going to be okay and you're going to get a healthy baby out of it. We'll all be here for you and make sure you have everything you need."

She hugged me and I felt like a child for once who just wanted to snuggle up with her mother.

I snapped back to reality and smiled at Tobias nodding my head, "I'm fine." I really wanted to ask him about the 'talk' my father gave him in the parking lot. But, neither of them wouldn't tell me anything. Dad didn't hit Tobias and Tobias wasn't upset with my dad so I'm pretty positive that things went better than me and my mom.

I watch Camryn crawl out of Tobias' arms all the way towards me only to pull on my tank top and get drool all of me, "If you still feel bad, then you don't have to go out. I can call it off--"

"--Tobias, I can make it. It's just morning sickness that's carrying on to noon. I'll be better by tonight." I reassure him. He's always been there with me. What man goes to the court house with a girl who's getting a divorce? He does, he's been there for all the things I've expected for him not to go to. So, a dinner with his family. . . I can knock this out of the park, "I'm just really tired." I admit as Camryn starts to get really comfy on me.

Tobias smiles as Camryn places her head on my chest, relaxing, "I think you two are both going to take a nap." He runs his large hand over Camryn's curls and she giggles at him, "I actually have to run to the office to get some things. Will you be okay?" He asks and I nod my head at him.

"We'll still be here." I look down to see Camryn already in the midst of falling asleep on my chest and for a split second I envy her because some days I wish it was as easy for me to crawl in someone's lap and just fall asleep, "Bye." He leans down and kisses my lips before getting his things and walking out the door, "And it's just the two of us." I whisper, running my head over her head. I place a kiss on her cheek and a smile forms on her face. I lay down on the couch carefully and trail right behind her.

+++

I let out a shaky sigh as I look at my face in my front camera of my phone. We're currently outside of a nice sized house and many cars are parked in the driveway. Tobias informed me that it's a formal/casual type of dinner party so I went with a pair of black slacks, a nude tank top, and a black cardigan. I stalled by straightening my hair and applying a wine colored lipstick on my lips.

And when Tobias knocked on the door I thought of running away. Instead, I pushed down my worry. . . and nausea and waited for the door to open. I could hear music from the inside along with laughter, I saw Will's car outside so I knew they were already here. Hell, I can hear Christina laughing.

The door suddenly swung open and there was a beautiful girl standing there with long brunette hair, she had on a little bit of makeup on and was in the same boat as me with the pants. She gave us both a smile and pulled Tobias in for a tight hug making me almost feel some type of way. I don't know this girl and she suddenly hugs him. She pulls away from him and almost knocks me off of my feet in a tight hug, "You must be Tris!" She gives a smile, "I'm Shauna, welcome to the family!" My nerves instantly fly away, if no one else liked me here I had Shauna who obviously liked me.

"Geez, Shauna. Don't choke her." I heard Tobias tell her with a laugh as she released me from a hug.

Her light brown eyes lit up like the stars above, "That's right," She whisper-shouts and rubs my not-so-big belly. It just looks like I ate a lot of starch all week. Tobias must have told them that I'm pregnant, at least I don't have to announce it to people I don't know, "Please come in!"

I step inside and brace myself.