What About Us

DISTANT | TWENTY-ONE

[Tobias]

Her silky brown hair and wide emerald eyes stare at me with tears brimming them. Her rosy pink lips are caught in between her teeth as she struggles to keep the tears locked in her head. The wind whips her hair around and the insulting cold wind makes her usually pale cheeks a light pink.

I hate seeing her upset but a piece of my mind continues to tell me that I shouldn't feel nothing. All I know is to not show emotion, and that explains my stone cold expression towards her. I take a sip of my hot coffee, the piping liquid scorching my tongue and giving me a sliver of a distraction.

She sniffles and dabs the napkin under her eyes before she takes a deep breath and looks at me with sad eyes, "So, that's it?" She questions, her intentions of 'just grabbing some coffee and scones for breakfast' taking a total 360, "Not a second chance? Nothing?"

"No. Life doesn't give second chances, it was already set in stone when you left, Ophelia." Yes, my ex decided to leave California once she realized that she wasn't getting what she wanted and she was going to go bankrupt if she didn't stop chasing after her unrealistic dream of becoming a damn, model. Now, she's back in Chicago, begging for another chance and to pry her way back into my life. The first time I saw her was at the restaurant with Tris and the girls, when I went to the bathroom to get myself under control and hope I wasn't imagining her, she followed me. She told me that she's now on plan b and want to become a doctor and want to start over, "I don't think you understand that I have a fiancé now and we're doing fine. I'm a dad now and I can't just stop that and go back to you. You made up your mind when you told me that we weren't going to work because I was dead weight."

Her eyebrows furrow deeply as her eyes swarm with something like a longing for something and anger consumed into one. Her eyes turning from a dull green to something stormy and ignited, "So, you really forgot about me, huh? Some girl just runs into you and you two fall in love instantly? Didn't think to give me a second chance?" She spits, "I don't know what to say anymore--"

"--Nothing is to say anymore." I grit, glaring at her, "You left me. I wanted to marry you but you left for an unrealistic dream and now your just paying for the consequences that you deserve. Have a nice day." I scoot out of my chair and walk out the door, heading to my job, seething.

+++

"I don't know, Christina. He's been really distant lately and been into his work." I shrug my shoulders, feeling my baby lightly kicking me. It's such a joyous feeling and now that I'm 5 1/2 months pregnant, I can feel them.

She takes a bit of her cracker before she takes a sip of her wine, "I don't know, maybe he's trying to get a raise. I mean, he went from living alone and being single to having three kids and engaged. He may want some time for himself too," Christina does have a very valid point. I nod my head and take a gulp of my apple juice. I needed to get out of that stuffy house and get some fresh air, I took a day off from work and while London is at school and Camryn is with her grandparents, I took this time to just talk with my bestfriend and relax. When I came over she had a tray of store brought brownies, crackers, cheese, fruit and mini sandwiches ready, "Just give him some time and I'm sure he'll tell you soon enough what's bothering him. So, how are things with you and Eric?" 

"Well, he looks much more relaxed. . . happier almost. And it hurts so much to know that he was unhappy this whole time. When he married me I thought he did it because he loved me and wanted to build a family," I roll my eyes and shrug my shoulders, "Enough of that depressing talk, are you and Will going to give Delilah a little brother or sister." 

Christina sucks in a breath, the crumbs of the cracker she was nibbling on getting caught in her throat breaking her into a coughing spell. Her eyes water up as she gulps down her wine, finally regaining composure, "What makes you think that?" She questions, "Will and I do want to expand our family but for now I don't want to get pregnant while you are pregnant because two hormonal pregnant women are not going to combine too well." I chuckle at her, agreeing. 

"Shauna called me the other day." I twirl the tassels on the edge of her pillows in between my fingers as I dig my feet under my butt and warm up my cold toes. I glance out the window, the dark clouds threatening to release snow or even sleet with this freezing weather. Christina gives me an approving look, "She just wanted to see how I'm doing and that she wants to come over and help me out with some meals and freezing them before the baby gets here. I am going to need all the help I can get because London is ecstatic about the baby while Camryn keeps turning her nose up at me."  I chuckle, yet feeling still overwhelmed at the same time. 

I don't want Camryn to hate her sibling or even try to pull their hair or hurt them when he or she is born. I want all my kids to get along and grow up together with good memories rather than bad memories, "I can't believe that you are getting remarried. It happened so quick that I forgot that you even got a divorce," Christina voices, "Have you met his parents yet?" I bite my lip and hold back the answer. I just shake my head telling her not yet. I'll be dammed if I am the one to spill the beans and have to tell her all about the abuse Tobias had to endure when he was younger and how his parents aren't in his life. 

"We're thinking about moving." I eat a brownie and Christina raises her eyebrows at me. 

"Really? That's good!" She praises. 

I nod my head, "Yeah, maybe into a bigger house. I know that I am done popping kids out for now but you never know what the  future holds for you. So, just on the safe side we want to have one extra room open just in case and the new baby to have his or her own room. If it's a boy then of course he needs his own room." 

"Do you want a boy?" Christina questions. 

I shrug my shoulders, "That's okay, I mean I really want a healthy baby. But, if God gives me another little girl I'll be content. Four just has to have his wallet ready." We both laugh and I sigh leaning against the couch. For now I feel better but in the back of my mind I hope that Tobias is okay. . . what if he leaves me? That is the same question that keeps in my head. The closer I near my due date, he might get hit with realization and leave me for myself and I would have to take care of three kids by myself. . . . I couldn't do it.