What About Us

REALIZE | TWENTY-TWO

Baby shopping is in store for me today. Tobias promised me that we could go baby shopping for a few things. The old bottles and blankets got thrown out, and I donated most of Camryn's baby clothes away—of course in the mentality that I wouldn't have another baby for a while. And, to add on top of that, we're having a baby boy, so he definitely couldn't have the girls clothes.

We got the results two days ago when Tobias went with me to my 7 months check up. 2 more months until the baby is here and then we will start working on the wedding. It's been a month since my last check up, and when Tobias was acting different. He's still uneasy but a little less nervous. 

Near Water Tower Place mall, is the other outlet places like Galt for strollers and car seats and other little necessities. We get there pretty quick and we start to look through the aisles with the basket in front of me, "I want our son to have a Snoopy theme." Tobias says with excitement as he starts to put in different Snoopy blankets and little hats for the growing baby in my belly. 

"I'm happy that you're happy, but we aren't shopping too much because we are still looking for a house." I give him a  look, "Remember we're here to place the orders in for the crib and changing table." 

Tobias gives a sad look but continues to follow me to the different model cribs on the wall and on the floor. I stand back and look at the different wood types and glosses. We are in the middle of searching for a new home for the baby to come into because I want to start fresh. Soon, I will be re-married, have a new baby, and many more things in store. I can't stay in the same house where I got hurt in and betrayed. We decide on a white polished wooden changing table with many drawers for his clothes and a matching crib and mattress. 

We finally go to the mall and go to the traditional Baby'sRUs, "These are cute." I hold up the onesies that are blue and have lighter blue stripes. It comes with another all black one. We end up getting just a few onesies and socks before we walk out with a bag. 

Tobias seems to tense up and I instantly notice it but he tries his best to mask it, "Why don't we go to the other way, I wanna go to the food court, I'm starving." Tobias starts to pull me the other direction. As good as eating a greasy burger and fries with a tall soda sounds right now, I want to get to the bottom as to why Tobias keeps tensing up and getting all rattled up at times. 

"What's wrong?" 

"What do you mean?" Tobias asks with his eyebrows furrowed, his eyes darting to the left quickly. Normally, he would place his firm, 'Four' mask in but right now he seems like a lost little boy. I look to the left and see a fairly pretty girl with brunette hair and green eyes walking towards us. My heart sinks to my toes and I want to run away, but I plant my feet firmly into the ground and wait for her to get over here before I start making assumptions. 

Has he been cheating on me? Is the first thing that slips in my mind and my heart slides up from my toes up to my throat and I can practically feel it beating in my brain, "Four." She smiles at him, glancing down at me and then my stomach, "So, is this the one you've been trying to keep me away from?" 

"What does she mean?" I look at Tobias anger starting to prick and prod at my emotions and I give myself and Tobias some patience before I blow up on him, "Are you cheating on me?" 

Tobias who seems pissed off furrows his eyebrows at me, "No, I would never. I'm not Eric." He bites and I feel my shoulders slump and I don't know what to feel. Should I feel happy that he's not cheating on me or should I be upset that he is not only comparing himself to Eric but he is also bringing up my past that I am trying to bury deep, "Are you following me, Ophelia?" 

"Ophelia." I murmur, my brain going a mile a minute as I think about that name and how it sounds so familiar and the fact that I have pregnancy brain right now is making me forget my own damn name. 

"Yes, that's my name." She snares at me, crossing her arms over her chest, "I'm his ex, if you want to get technical ex-fiance. Things didn't work out too well." 

I want to pass out and cry at the same time but no emotion doesn't hit me at the moment. She is supposed to be in California and not in Chicago, she is supposed to be doing well and not worried about Tobias because he is mines now, "I'm Tris-" 

"-Oh I know. You're the one who brainwashed him into proposing to you and knocking you up with a child I'm sure he doesn't want. I've had him longer than you sweetie and I know one thing that he doesn't like is commitment-" 

That seems to slap realization into Tobias as he shakes his head and glares at Ophelia, "No, Ophelia, that's only for you." I hide my smirk as her face falls, "Stop following me around. I told you already that I don't want you in my life. I have a child on the way and I don't have time to think about you." 

"So, now you want to be all brand new?" Her face flusters with anger and I just stand there, my hand under my t-shirt, rubbing my belly on the underside to stop the kicking of the baby. He can obviously sense my anger and many emotions that hard to fish out at the moment, "You still love me, I can see it in your eyes. I came back for you and you can't even spare me a glance. This is all preposterous, she really has brainwashed you." She turns towards me, "Where do you think he's been? He's been with me having conversations over coffee. If he tells you that he doesn't care about me then forget it because if he did he wouldn't be sipping caffeine with me." 

I clear my throat, wanting to smack fire from Tobias right now. For so many reasons but I know that stress isn't going to be the best for me. I nod my head and turn around, walking quickly towards the exit. For once I'm not concerned that I can walk pretty fast back to the parking lot. I carried much heavier with the girls and the fact that I'm so tiny with a boy is pretty frightening but like the doctor told me, everyone carries different and the baby is healthy. 

"Tris!" Tobias calls after me as I push through the doors and I continue to speed walk all the way to the car and Tobias finally gets to me. If he really tried he could have caught up with me miles away, he just wants to let me blow off some steam with each walk because I would have blew up on him in the mall and that would have been pretty embarrassing, "Baby, I apologize." He grabs my shoulders as he looks in my eyes, both of his large hands on my shoulders. 

"Why would you lie to me?" I shake my head, "You could have told me! Since you always want to compare yourself to Eric, Eric lied to me too. And you are doing the same exact thing and it hurts even worse knowing that it comes to you. Not only did you lie about where you were at but you were with your ex of all people. How am I supposed to know that you two were 'just-drinking-coffee-?" 

"I know, and I'm sorry for that." He grabs my face and I shake him off of me. 

"You know what are going through right now." I shake my head, tears welling up in my eyes, "We have to find a place for our family, I have to have this baby, and make sure the he is taken care of. Life isn't going to be easy on out, and you think I need this on my plate?" 

A sharp pain jabs me deep in my belly making me suck in a deep breath and lean over, placing my hands on my knees, "What's wrong?" Tobias rubs my covered back as I realize that it wasn't a normal kick but it felt like something odd. I shake my head and stand up back to my feet. 

"I don't know, just take me home, I'm done with today." 

-

So if don't read my other book, I don't have any excuse but I am on break so I going to try and dish out chapters. School has been hectic in a good/bad way and I got A/B Honor roll which is a blessing. Anyways, forgive any errors because it is a few minutes before 2am and I am tired.