Things To Say Before I Go

Chapter 5: Jess

You'd think after having to stare at this computer screen everyday that I would want to throw it off the roof of the building and have a fucking party when it finally hit the ground. And if that's what you actually were thinking, you'd be absolutely right. But since my leverage was still in place, I thought I could chance slacking off a little. 

I turned to Kelsey to tell her about Nate, this guy I had just met the other day at the hot dog stand, but she wasn't there. Probably in the bathroom. Trying to find something else to do but actual productive work, I pulled the top drawer of my desk open and grabbed my list. Underneath 'meet guy on tenth floor', I wrote, Go out with tenth floor guy, but ended up correcting 'tenth floor guy' to 'Nate'.  I thought for a second and, you know, I did really want to go out with him, but after a serious four year relationship? Naturally, I still had some reservations about trying out anything too serious so soon. With good intentions, I scribbled, Think before you do something stupid underneath to remind myself that I needed to use my brain instead of..., well you know. 

Anyway, I was just finishing writing this when Kelsey was returning to her desk. 

"Whatcha got there?" she asked, trying to peer over my shoulder.  

"I thought I'd give this a try," I said, showing her the list I had started. 

She read the only three things I had written down. "Well, you're on your way," she said, giving me a considerable smile. "So you met this 'tenth floor guy'?" 

I started to tell her about our first encounter. It was awkward to say the least. But I wanted to be natural around him. I found him attractive and mysterious since I knew next to nothing about him. I almost spilled my whole life story to him yesterday about Melanie and Brett. Maybe we could talk about that when we went out again. If we went out again. 

With the story finished, Kelsey raised her eyebrows. "Well, this could be good for you," she said, hopeful. "Just don't move too fast with him. You might want to do anything to move on from Brett, but trust me, moving full speed ahead with another guy could be risky business." 

"Yeah, I know," I said, and turned back to my desk. 

We got back to work for a little bit, and by a little bit, I mean like five minutes, and then she turned to me and asked, "Hey, did you drop off those forms for the legal office yesterday?" 

I stopped typing mid-sentence and looked at her with widened eyes. "No!" I was going to do that yesterday before I met Nate and completely forgot! 

She returned my equally concerned and frightened gaze. "Jess, go!" she yelled, shooing me towards the elevators. 

I got up, grabbed the files, stuffed them into my bag and ran to the elevator. I was panicking! I got into the empty elevator and jammed my finger over and over again on the button for the lobby. The urgency of the situation made it feel like forever before the elevator finally opened and I ran through the lobby and out the front door. And, as any woman knows, running in heels was an adventure. Honestly, I don't WALK well in heels, so how am I supposed to run in them? Looking good NEVER means feeling good.

I pushed my way through oncoming street traffic and made it to the building next door, breathing heavily like an Olympic sprinter. I ran into the nearest elevator, mere seconds before it closed. Relieved, I let out a huge sigh. It was then I noticed, while a God awful elevator music rendition of "The Greatest Love of All" by Whitney Houston was playing, that I was sweating like a pig and panting like a dog in front of a very judgmental Asian man. He was eyeballing me up and down.

I turned to him, frustrated and said, "Alright, you know, I don't need this right now, so if you could just," making a gesture to turn around, "..there you go. Yeah, back off. Stay in your lane."