Things To Say Before I Go

Chapter 26: Nate

I left Jess's place that morning in a bittersweet haze. I opened the door to Jack's old car. He had gotten a new one and said I could take his old one for a cheap price. I sat down and put the keys into the ignition, but didn't run them just yet. I put my arms down and rested my head on the steering wheel. 

Was I really doing this? Was I really leaving all of this behind? I looked out the window at Jess's house. It had become such an inviting place to me over the past year, like a second home. I hoped that I'd be back again to see it. I didn't want to stop seeing Jess. Sure, long distance relationships suck and they hardly ever work out, but Jess and I are certainly not a traditional couple. I saw her silhouette in the window move through the kitchen. I thought I'd stay there all day, but I heard a honk from somewhere off in the distance which woke me out of my confused state. I turned the key, started the car and drove back to the apartment. 

By the time I got home, Mark was just about to walk out the door. He jumped when I he heard me open the door. 

"Oh good you're home," he said, finishing whatever he was reading in the newspaper. That was something I was going to miss about Mark. He was such a classic kind of guy. He refused to get news from anywhere else. He didn't want to deal with news apps on his phone. He preferred good old fashioned newsprint.

"So you stayed overnight?" he asked, putting down the paper and grabbing his briefcase. 

"Yeah. It was kind of a last night sort of thing," I said, putting my key on the table and grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. 

He nodded, as if understanding. "Well," he said, opening the door, "enjoy your last day of work." 

After he closed the door, I felt like I needed sit down. It was really hitting me that this was it. I drank the rest of my water in one huge gulp. I tossed the empty bottle at the recycling bin. It hit the edge of the bin, and fell out. It was a good thing I played baseball in high school and not basketball. 

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"Well, Mr. King," Mr. McDonald was saying, "it has been a pleasure having you here. You have become such a wonderful asset to our company and I know you are going to do great things in Arizona." He told me good luck and then went back to his office. 

I wasn't going to miss him so much. It was obvious he was one of those bosses that just went through the motions. 

Jack came over soon after McDonald left. "Wow, that was the least sincere thing I've ever seen," he said with a small laugh. 

"It was just the littlest bit creepy too, right?" I asked jokingly. "Or was that just me that thought that?" 

Jack looked out the window across the way towards Jess's building. "So how'd she take the news?" I told everything that happened, from the beginning of the conversation till the end of the night. This morning was a private thing. "Well, at least it ended positively," he said with a nod. He sighed as I looked over at Jess. 

She was bent over her desk, deeply focused on something in a file folder. It reminded me of the first day I saw her and how I eventually caught her looking at me. And to think that all of this began with a simple glance through a window. And here I was now, having been able to love one of the world's most beautiful women and leaving everything I've ever known, including her. 

"Hey, Nate, snap out of it," Jack was saying, snapping his fingers in front of my face. 

"Sorry," I said. "I zoned out." 

"I'll say. Are you sure you're okay?" 

I nodded and smiled. "I think I am." 

He patted me on the back. "Well, kick some ass, dude. It's been nice knowing you."