Things To Say Before I Go

Chapter 17: Jess

"Hello?" I asked, into what I only assumed now was an empty line. 

Nate was angry, and rightfully so. I was way too emotionally driven in making this decision and now I hurt him in the process. But this was for me. This was for my sanity that I did this. I needed to get away from everything for a while so that I could focus on myself. And it was Nate that made me think of this. He was the one that made me believe that I could do this, that I SHOULD do this before I lose the ability to be able to. 

I replaced the pay phone back on the hook and exited the red phone booth. I pulled my coat a little tighter around me as a gust of wind took me by surprise, sending a chill down my spine. I was upset about Nate, I couldn't deny that to be true. I didn't want him to hate me, it wasn't my goal to make him upset. But I was already here. There was nothing to do but do what I had intended to do and deal with it when I returned to New York. With this in mind, I followed the winding cobblestone street back to my hotel by the light of the street lamps.

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I woke up to the alarm I set on my phone, my head barely missing the headboard. I was a klutz no matter where I went. It was going to take some time to get adjusted to the time difference but seeing as I was only there two weeks, I figured that I'd survive. I rolled out from under the sheets and got into the shower. I turned the TV on as I dried my hair. 

"The high is going to be 42 today with the chance of showers later on," the weather man said in a thick accent. 

You have to love British accents. I smiled to myself as I got changed and went downstairs to look for some breakfast. Getting on the elevator to go down to the lobby reminded me of work. Or at least where I used to work. It still hadn't REALLY hit me that I had been fired. In my head, it just felt like I would be doing the same freaking thing again when I went back. But then again, that was one of the reasons I was here. I just kept telling myself that I'd deal with it, with everything, when I got back.

Today was only day one and I was going to enjoy every minute of the trip that I could. The metal doors slid open and I walked into the already bustling lobby. The whole room was filled with people going back and forth, mostly people with briefcases or on the phone, either way, all hard at work. I felt even more like a tourist now. 

I made my way to the front desk where a thinly moustached gentleman with greasy black hair that was tightly slicked back was typing on a computer. 

"Excuse me, sir," I said, politely. 

He didn't look up. I said it again and he continued to ignore me. I didn't deal with this bullshit at home, I certainly wasn't going to deal with it in a foreign country. I slammed my hand down on the service bell at the desk and watched him throw a dirty glance my way. 

"Can I help you?" he asked, like I had disturbed him from doing something earth-shatteringly important. 

I turned the charm back on so I appeared sickly sweet. "Yes, I was just wondering where a good place would be to go to get some breakfast." 

He sneered at me. "Oh, you're an American. I see." 

The fake smile dropped from my face faster than I had thought possible. I didn't have that much patience to begin with, and mixed with everything else I knew I would have to deal with upon returning home, I wasn't about to deal with this wanker (yeah I went there). 

I leaned closely to him and said, "Yes, I am American. And yes, you're probably still feeling a little pissed about the Revolutionary War, but get over it! You guys lost!" I started to get a little louder as the noise of the people started to drown me out. "Now despite the fact that I am indeed American, I am also a human being which should still mean something, godammit!"