Things To Say Before I Go

Chapter 20: Nate

"Okay, this has to stop, Nate," Mark said, walking in from his morning run. He was drenched in sweat. 

I had been sitting on the couch and was just finishing my cereal. "You're right. I'm getting kind of tired just moping." 

I was. I didn't like being miserable all the time. I needed to get out and do something else. 

"Let's go do something, huh? What do you want to do?" 

I thought about it. "I could use some new clothes for work and stuff." 

"Well then," Mark said, throwing his sweaty t-shirt at me, "get off your lazy ass and let's go!"

*****************************

By the time we walked out of the mall, I had bought two new dress shirts, two new flannels and a couple pairs of pants and all Mark had gotten was four girls' numbers. The man never stopped. 

"Do you even plan on calling any of them?" I asked. 

He rifled through them, trying to remember what each of them looked like. "Maybe Lily, but that's probably it." 

I shook my head. "Do you want to go grab some lunch?" 

He smiled and slapped me on the back. "See? That's what I like to see! I'm glad you're feeling better. Let's go to Pedro's for a slice of pizza." 

So, we hailed a taxi and made our way back to Pedro's. Sitting at the window, I watched the city, again thinking about moving. I hadn't brought this idea up to Mark at all and hadn't really been planning on it, until he asked what I was thinking about. I told him nothing, as we both continued to eat, but he didn't want to let it go. 

"I know that look," he said, taking a sip through the straw in his soda. "You're thinking about something." 

I sighed. I didn't know how he was going to react to this, but I figured he had a right to know that I was at least thinking about it. 

"I was on my way home the other night and I was just thinking that maybe the city is just not for me anymore. You know what I mean?" 

Mark chewed, listening carefully. He hadn't changed his face or demeanor at all in any dramatic way, so I couldn't tell how he was taking it. 

"I don't know," I shrugged, carrying on. "It's nothing definite, it's just that the thought crossed my mind." We were both quiet for a minute. I wasn't sure what he was going to say. 

"Well," he said, swallowing another bite of cheese he had pulled off, "is this because of Jess?" 

I shook my head. "Oh no, it's not because of her. I honestly don't know where it came from. I just looked up that night at these towering buildings and around at the traffic and the constant motion of people and I wasn't sure if it still appealed to me." 

"Good. I don't want this to be about her anymore," he said sternly. "I won't lie to you that if you choose to go somewhere else that it's going to be a change I'm happy about, but it's your decision and it's your life. I don't want to be the one that stops you from doing what you want to do. You're my best friend, man." And then he chuckled. "But don't think that I'm not going to come and visit you." 

I laughed a little too. "I wouldn't have it any other way." 

I was so relieved that he took this well. I was finishing my last slice of pizza when my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number so I answered it. 

"Hello?" 

A panicked voice responded back. "Is this Nate King?" 

I started to get worried by the tone of the voice on the other end. "Yes it is. What is this regarding?" 

"Your mother, Mr. King."

************************

My phone hit the floor as the unknown person on the other end of the phone delivered the inevitably tragic news. Mark quickly paid and drove me to the retirement home. I kept it together for the most part on the way there, the feeling and understanding of what I just heard not fully hitting me yet. Two ambulances were parked outside when we arrived. 

As soon as Mark had the car parked, I threw open the door and ran inside. I didn't need anyone telling me to slow down or that I wasn't allowed to somewhere without clearance. By the time I made it to her floor, I couldn't see past the attendants and EMT's. I pushed my way towards the front and I heard one of the regular nurse's tell others to move because her son was there. 

I finally arrived to find my mother lying on the ground barely breathing. I knelt down beside her as she breathed weakly through the oxygen mask. 

She removed it much to the EMTs' disapproval and muttered, "I love you, baby." 

She laid her head back down. "No, Mom, stay with me! Don't leave me, please, Mom, don't do it!" 

The EMT's pushed me off and moved my mother to the stretcher to be taken to the hospital. They told me that I could meet them there, but that I couldn't ride with them in the ambulance. I hated that. What if those were her last moments and I wasn't going to be able to spend them with her? But, I obliged and ran to find Mark.

************************

"So it seems to me that it was a stroke," the doctor said sternly, looking down at his clipboard. "A pretty severe, at that. But, thankfully, she is currently stable." 

"Is there an serious brain damage?" Some part of me was worried I was going to go into that room and find my mother not knowing who she was. 

But the doctor said, "She is going to take some time to recover, but she will not sustain any serious damage." 

I breathed a huge sigh of relief and sat back down in the stiff hospital chair that was right outside my mother's room. "Thank you, doctor," I said as he made his way to another patient. 

Mark came back from the vending machine with a water bottle for me. "Is she going to be okay?" He asked. 

I cracked open the bottle of water. "She's going to be okay. She needs to recover, but she should be okay." I started drinking and started to say so,etching when I heard a familiar voice coming from the circulation desk. 

"No I'm not family, I was just wondering if you could tell me where she is." 

"I'm sorry ma'am, if you're not family, I'm not at liberty to disclose that information to you." 

"Why? Are freaking kidding me?! Like it really matters! You're not going to stop me from going to try to find her." 

"Ma'am, you can't go back there!" 

Just then, the doors burst open and there was Jess, looking around for something with the head nurse from behind the desk coming behind her. 

"It's fine!" I called, approaching the nurse. "She's with me." 

Jess looked at me with a mixture of discomfort and familiarity. I walked her over to where I had been sitting with Mark. Mark looked and saw Jess. He gave a small wave and got up to give us some time. 

"Here, sit," I said, pointing to the chair. 

"Thanks," she said. 

I wasn't sure where to start.