Things To Say Before I Go

Chapter 21: Jess

Looking at Nate, I couldn't tell whether or not he was happy to see me. 

"So how did you-" 

"Kelsey," I said with a chuckle. He laughed a little too. A good sign. We both sat quietly for a minute, neither of us wanting to be the first one to say something. It was like a cheap movie scene. 

I figured I'd start. "Look, Nate, I-" 

"Jess," he said, stoping me with his hand. "I want to say something real quick. I understand why you did what you did and I have a feeling you know you didn't think it all the way through." He paused. "But, honestly speaking, I have never missed someone more in my life." 

I stopped. I didn't expect him to say that. I looked up at him and he was smiling. "What made you come home?" 

I sighed. "It was a couple of things. I felt bad from the beginning, but I was sitting in a pub and a friend of mine convinced me to go up on stage and sing. I asked for requests and a gentleman requested 'She's Got a Way' for his fiancée. It just reminded me of you. And I knew that I couldn't stay there knowing that you weren't there with me and that we were fighting. It didn't feel right." I pulled out my pad of paper that contained my list. "I even wrote down in here that I wanted to go London with you and I didn't even stick to that." 

He chuckled a little. "Are you ever going to let me read that?" 

I shook my head. "No, I can't let you. Not until I'm dead and gone." We sat there again in silence for a couple of minutes. Then, he got up, gestured for me to get up too and hugged me. 

"I missed you," he said over my shoulder.

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A few weeks later and everything was almost back to normal. Nate's mom was feeling much better and was currently in the process of finding an apartment of her own closer to Nate so that he could get to her faster than where she was at the retirement home. 

I had gone out with Nate three nights that week and each one felt better between the two of us. I also started to redecorate my house. I started throwing things away that I had bought with Brett and started adding my own things that I went out and bought. I needed a fresh start. 

The only thing I didn't have to go back to was a job. For an entire week, I searched the classified section of the newspaper, but couldn't find anything that struck me as interesting. Then, I got a call from a number in my old building. It turned out to be Nancy. 

"Hi Jess! It's me, Nancy!" she said in her typical cheery tone.

"Hey Nancy!" I said, excitedly. It felt somehow comforting to hear her voice again. "How are you? How are the things at the office?" 

"Not bad, not bad. Not the same without you, that's for sure, but could be worse I suppose." She paused for a second. 

"So what's up? Why are you calling my cell phone?"

She giggled on the other end. "Well, I have some exciting news." 

Nancy explained her exciting news with such energy. Melanie got fired for misconduct after her incident with Brett became a known issue to the management team. Fired. Not demoted, fired. She was replaced with Nancy and Nancy was willing to offer me my old job back. Not surprising to you, I'm sure, I took it.

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I took a deep breath and stepped into the all-too-familiar crowded elevator in the lobby of my building. I finally got to call it my building again. At this point, I was just happy to be back at work that I didn't mind the lack of breathing room I currently had. When I heard the elevator ding at the tenth floor, I started to get a bit excited. I would get to see Kelsey and Nancy again and a bunch of other familiar faces. 

The doors opened and I stared into a remodeled office space. The desks were rearranged and people were relocated to different spots. That is, except for two desks: mine and Kelsey's. The gentleman at the front desk who I didn't recognize called my name. 

"Are you Jess?" 

I nodded. "Miss Freeman would like to see you." I thanked him and made my way to the office that formerly belonged to Melanie. I was so glad to see Nancy sitting in her place instead. 

She got up when she saw me walk in and came to give me a hug. "Oh my gosh, you have no idea how good it is to see you again." I smiled. She let go and returned to her desk. 

"Nancy, you have no idea how much I owe you for this." 

She laughed, waving me off. "Oh, no, I know how much you owe me, I just won't hold you to it." 

She filled me in on the last couple of files I was to start working on. She handed me the stack of Manila folders and said, "Welcome back to the tenth floor," with a smile before letting go. 

"Good to be back."

******************************

I returned to my desk and started replacing my things. Kelsey must not be in yet. I turned my computer back on and once again, found myself waiting for it to turn on like I had done so many mornings before. 

I figured I'd stick with tradition and take a look out the window to see if Nate had gotten in. He hadn't because he wasn't sitting as his desk and his computer wasn't on, but there was something. 

He had taped a piece of paper to the glass that read 'Welcome back, tenth floor'. I smiled. What an ass.

******************************

It wasn't long after I started working on my computer that Kelsey walked in. She put her stuff down on her desk without a word or glance my way. I expected and deserved this. I realized that even though I talked to Nate while I was gone, I had never communicated with her, except to find out where Nate was when he was at the hospital with his mother. She was reasonably pissed off. 

She turned her computer on and went to get some coffee from the break room while it warmed up. I took my chance to follow her. She was opening a pack of sweetener when I walked in. 

"Hi," I said simply. Nothing. 

She poured the sweetener into her coffee and grabbed a stirrer. She walked past me and back to her desk. I, of course followed her because she couldn't escape the person who sat right next to her. She sat back down as I did. 

"You know, you're going to have to talk to me eventually," I said cautiously. 

"Not until I hear the words I need to hear," she muttered plainly. 

I sighed. "Kels, I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to-". I was going to continue, but she held up a hand. 

She slowly smiled. "Forgiven." 

It wasn't until later in the break room for lunch that we really got into a full conversation about it. I told her what I did to get there, what I did while I was there, told her about Pete and why I came back early. She said she didn't like the fact that I left so abruptly, but understood that I needed to get away. 

"But don't you ever scare me like that again, you bitch," she said jokingly. "I'm just glad you're back." 

"As am I," said Nancy, walking over to us and sitting down in the only empty chair left. 

"Whoa there, boss lady. Aren't you supposed to be eating in your office?" Kelsey joked.

She laughed. "I make the rules and I say I eat where I please." 

I smiled at her. "This is going to be fun."