Things To Say Before I Go

Chapter 25: Jess

I reached for Nate's hand as we waited in line for the Ferris wheel. We were having a lot of fun! Even though I did want to beat the shit out of the ring toss guy AND I almost sent an old man to the emergency room, it was a nice night. 

He smiled at me as he held my hand. "You're not afraid of heights are you?" he asked. 

I shook my head. "Nah, I think fear of heights is irrational. I just tell Kelsey that it's perfectly normal because I like to avoid the lecture I'd get if I said otherwise."

Nate laughed and asked, "Kelsey's afraid of heights?" 

I nodded. "Yup. She doesn't even look down at the water off of bridges if she thinks they're too high." We had just made it to the front of the line. "You know," I said, "this baby has NOTHING on the London Eye. It's the largest Ferris wheel in the world. I rode it while I was over there." 

I said this, wondering if it had been the right thing to say. I didn't talk much about London because even though Nate didn't show any outward expression of being uncomfortable on the topic, I had a feeling he did on the inside. 

But after saying this, he just said simply, "That sounds like fun," and moved on. We got into the next car, as the man who was operating the machine helped us into it and closed the bar, locking us in. 

"Are you ready?" He asked excitedly. 

I nodded. "You know, I'm so glad you are at least trying to have fun," I said gratefully. "I know it's kind of ridiculous to have a date at a faire and it seems a little childish, but I just think that every once in a while, you need a little crazy, you know? It's an opportunity to forget about life for a while." 

He put his arm around me and smiled. "Where did you learn how to be so philosophical?" 

I laughed. "I was born this way, baby". 

The wheel lurched forward and we started to move higher. The night was decent. Nothing beat our night in Central Park, but there were some stars out. The moon was shining too, but again, not as bright. I put,y head on Nate's shoulder. The wheel stopped as one of the cars was unloading and new people were getting on. We sat there leaned against each other for a couple more stops without saying a word. Then, when we finally made it to the top, I sighed in fascination. 

"What's up? What are you thinking about?" Nate asked, looking down at me. 

"Well," I said, "despite what I said before about forgetting life for a while, I was thinking about the fact that I had to go back to work on Monday. And I was thinking that moments like this, where I'm sitting at the top of a Ferris wheel at some fair in some weird far off field outside of the city on a nice night with an amazing guy... Well, I just wish I could freeze these kind of moments and stay in them for a little longer than they tend to last." 

"Your life is your life, Jess," he said. "I think, knowing you, that if you tried, you could make your everyday life as magical these moments feel to you. I mean, you only get one life and as cheesy as that sounds, you might as well make it fun." He was right. I needed to find a way to make my life more fun and not just with these sporadic moments of magic. 

"I knew there was a reason I liked you," I said playfully. 

"And here I thought it was just my charming good looks," he said. 

Randomly, a voice came over a loud speaker called out and said, "We would like to apologize, the Ferris wheel is momentarily stuck and will begin moving again momentarily." 

I shrugged. "That's okay, I guess." We sat back and looked up at the sky. "Such a nice night," I observed. Then, I sighed and looked back down at Nate. He seemed to be thinking really hard about something. "Whoa, don't hurt yourself there. What are you thinking so hard about?" He snapped out of it, but still looked concerned. "Nate, what is it? You look like someone stole your phone or something."