The Music or the Misery (Book 2)

I Just Don't Know Where It Went Wrong

It doesn't make sense that I can literally feel when he's close. I mean, it's not humanly possible but as I focused on the receipt in front of me, I felt a huge urge to look up. I can't really explain what it actually feels like but it's as if I have some sort of sixth sense that lets me know when he's near.

That's how I ended up watch my ex-lover walk towards me, yet again. I can't quite believe he's here because there's no reason for him to be. Then I remember that everything is against me, so why the hell wouldn't he be here. Isn't my life hard enough? Of all the places he could find me, here at my work place isn't preferable.

As he gets closer I notice the surprise on his face, no doubt matching mine and my eyes flick over his form like a reflex. To make matters worse when he reaches me, he smiles lightly, while I wonder what I did to deserve this torture.

"What are you doing here?" I say automatically. As soon as I say it, I frown mostly to myself because it isn't the best greeting to give a customer. Luckily, my voice is quiet enough that my boss won't hear me being unprofessional from where he sits in the back of the shop.

Patrick looks confused for a second too before he shakes it off and speaks calmly. More calm than I'm feeling.

"I broke my guitar" he says robotically, as if he still doesn't believe I'm here either. I suppose he had no reason to expect me. Simply hearing his voice sets off something within me that I can't explain. The butterflies in my stomach flutter and I let them rage inside me as I try to find my voice. This would be my que to run away, in order to stop myself from wanting things I shouldn't. I realize that I can't leave this time, unless I want to get myself fired.

He pulls a guitar case from his back. I hadn't noticed it before because I was too busy, trying not to drown in his eyes. My god, I'm pathetic. I have no idea if this is some kind of crafty plan to make me talk to him or if he's telling the truth. Although logically I know it's bit much for him to break his guitar on purpose.

I realize after a few silent moments that I need to answer him, although he doesn't seem to mind my awkward silence. I have to be professional.

"What happened to it?" I finally ask, even though I don't think that was the question I was aiming for. A simply 'Which part is broken?' would have been better and a lot less personal. I really shouldn't care, in fact every aspect of his life should be unimportant to me but it's not. He smiles softly in response as if he'd hoped I'd ask and places the case on the counter in front of me.

"The string broke while I was playing, the fret bar is damaged too" he explains before clicking open the case to show me. As I take in the damaged parts of the guitar that I know is his favorite, I can feel his gaze on me but when I look up he quickly darts his eyes elsewhere. I smirk at his actions, finding it endearing despite myself and the fuzzy feeling inside me grows, blurring the lines. My ability to be mad at him is failing, which drives me mad.

"I think when the string broke it must have hit here" he continues, clearing his throat. We both reach out at the same time, trying to examine the neck of the guitar. Our fingers touch for a second and I pull my hand away in shock. My cheeks heat as I blush and he jumps in quickly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to-" he begins but I stop him, thinking how much of an overreaction that was. I need to pull myself together. I just wasn't prepared for all of the memories that it would cause. If I thought I'd forgotten how he felt, then I was wrong.

"No, it's okay" I state and his eyes almost glow as he watches me. He sighs and shakes his head, looking annoyed.

"No really, I'm sorry. This shouldn't be awkward; I didn't intend for this to happen. I needed my guitar fixed and I found this shop. Of course I couldn't stop myself when I saw you-"