The Music or the Misery (Book 2)

I Want To Scream 'I Love You' From The Top Of My Lungs

Violet's P.O.V

When I saw Patrick's mustang approaching my nerves became worse than ever. I watched as he parked next to me and jumped out, a look of confusion mixed with relief on his face. Now though, he's staring at me in disbelief because I've just told him that I love him. I might feel amused if I wasn't so anxious.

"What?" he whispers after some time, although his voice is barely audible. This is the part where I'm supposed explain everything but it's not exactly easy. Nevertheless, I take a deep breath and try my best.

"Basically, I'm an idiot and I've wasted so much time pushing you away. I shouldn't have left you at the airport. Actually, I shouldn't have left you at all but I want to make it right because I love you" I begin, my words flowing horribly. I don't think I'm making sense but there are too many things I need to say. Every time I say 'I love you' my emotions run wild. "I should have believed you from the beginning, I was just so insecure" I continue, trying to give him a reason for my mistakes.

Patrick stares at me, his expression still the same. Maybe he doesn't want me after all. That thought has me desperate to know what he's thinking, except I'm finding it hard to look at him. I'm worried his gaze will change to pity. So, I look away, focusing my stare on the ground.

"I understand if this is too much for you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner and it's okay if you don't want anything to do with me" I say quickly, trying to get it all out before my voice breaks. I can't seem to breathe right. The pressure in my chest is like a dead weight. I suppose I deserve to feel this way after all the pain I've caused him.

"You love me?" I hear, after some dreadful silence. Glancing up, I catch him taking a hesitant step forward. We're only a few inches apart but I have no idea what's going to happen next. Mine or not, he already has my heart rate accelerating.

"Yes" I state confidently, more sure than I've ever been. His mouth is slightly agape, his eyes frantically searching my face. "I'm sorry for everything" I continue, breathing deeply. I can feel my eyes beginning to water as I wonder if he actually believes me.

When his face becomes serious, I assume the worst.

"You flew back to Chicago, you sent me a cryptic note and terrified me half to death. You brought me back to the place we first met, where we grew close. In order to tell me that you still love me?" he asks, his voice neutral.

"Yes, that's a good summary of events. Patrick-" I begin but he cuts me off.

"You're crazy..." he whispers and all I can do is nod. Oh god, he doesn't want me!

"Maybe a little but please let me show you that I can fix this" I choke out. Then I watch as he shakes his head, his expression wild.

"There's nothing to fix" he says and my world falls apart.

"I'm sorry, I should have done better. I've treated you terribly and-" I begin in a jumbled mess but I don't get very far.

"We were never broken Sweetheart. I love you so fucking much!" he continues, his voice shaking. What?! Now, I'm the one who's confused.

"I don't understand" I state, thinking I may have heard him wrong. He smiles widely, his gaze glowing with affection.

"Maybe you'll understand this..." he says before closing the space between us and taking my face in his hands. His lips hit mine before I can blink and I grab him tightly, pulling his body against mine. It causes a shock to my system, waking up the desire inside me. The cold chill in the air evaporates as he wraps me in his arms and I try to grasp the reality of this situation. Is this really happening? Do I get to have him?