The Music or the Misery (Book 2)

May The Bridges I Have Burned Light My Way Back Home

                    

The silence on the other end of the line is deafening as I wait to see how my father will reply. I'm ultimately ready for his anger and disappointment, so it's no surprise when he speaks.

"You know, I thought you'd learned your lesson. I thought you were smarter than this but once again, I was wrong" he begins.

"What lesson should I have learned exactly? How to close myself off to everyone? Because that's what I was doing. I got hurt but I can't keep feeling angry forever" I reply, a little proud of myself for simply telling him how I feel.

"You gave up an amazing opportunity, so that you could go off and get hurt all over again" he continues as if I hadn't said a word. I should know by now that my feelings aren't the important thing to him but my compliance to his demands are.

"How do you know who I'm with anyway? It doesn't make sense" I ask, wondering how he once again found me out.

"It wasn't hard to find out Violet. The last time you began making drastic decisions, it was because of him. Not only that but parking your car outside of his apartment wasn't very smart, now was it?" he says, only sounding angrier.

"I suppose not but I think you're forgetting that what I do on my own time, no longer has anything to do with you" I snap, matching his tone. I have to stand my ground, or I'll crumble.

"I'm so disappointed in you. Not only have you run away to god knows where but you've become horribly disrespectful" he growls, trying to intimidate me.

"I'm not being disrespectful. I think that's more your thing, considering that's all you've done, my whole damn life" I state, my voice almost breaking with emotion. Of course when I'm angry, I get upset. Which I hate more than anything.

"How dare you! I've given you everything" he yells but I don't back down.

"Everything but what matters the most is you've never trusted me; to be who I want to be. You've never really listened to a word that I've said" I reply, slowly falling apart. This has to end soon if I want to have any dignity left over.

"I'm not going to listen to you talk rubbish. Do what the hell you want but don't come crying to me when he hurts you again because he's no doubt still using you. You better get your ass back to college after summer too because if not, I'm done with you!"

His words definitely shake me, bringing to light my worst fears. I couldn't take it if Patrick was using me but I don't believe that he is. I realize something else too. The thought of my father cutting me out of his life, doesn't scare me as much as it should.

So I answer him calmly, trying to end the conversation with confidence.

"I'll keep that in mind as I spend the rest of the summer actually being happy" I state before hanging up. As soon as my fingers release the phone, I sigh in relief. That was horrible but it's over now, even if my high spirits have dropped considerably.

I make the short walk back to the hotel and find everyone in the lobby getting ready to pack everything back onto the bus. I smile at Riddly, knowing that I'll have to say goodbye to her now. Only my smile mustn't be convincing enough.

"Where did you go?" she asks casually. I don't want to make a big deal out of this, that's why I didn't tell anyone I was going to call him in the first place.

"I called my father, just to check in" I tell her and regardless of my efforts, she immediately looks worried.

"How did it go?" she replies. I see Patrick approaching from the corner of my eye and I feel urge to ask him to hold me. I hate that I can't just brush off how I feel.