Chapter 23: Limitless

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She reached up to the nape of his neck and held her shaky hands there as he moved closer and closer to her. She felt like she was on fire, even though they were in the water. Was he really going to kiss her? The air blew her hair back, sending more chills up her spine. This was the most jittery feeling, yet it was something she had wanted for days. Her lips were slightly chapped and she hoped that he wouldn't be turned off by that, but he should have known anyways. They had been sleeping so close to each other... surely he had looked at her lips? The thought of him looking at her lips made her shiver again. He pressed his hands on her lower back, bringing her closer to him, as his nose brushed over hers lightly.

She wanted to melt on the spot.

His lips touched hers ever so softly, that the trembling got worse, and if he wasn't holding her right now, perhaps she would fall underwater and be so out of it that she'd drown.

Aditya brought his hand up to her cheek and held her face gently, so lovingly, like he adored her. She liked being adored. Nobody ever made her feel this way in a long time. As she was growing up, after her parents, it was only Aditya from her childhood and Rani Aunty that cared for her... and then the President loved her too. His wife tried, but Mahima always knew that she could never truly love her as her own. Nevertheless, she had been grateful that she was out of that orphanage and was living with a good family... the only thing that she hated, that made even thoughts of the orphanage bearable had been her brother.

Then, that was what did it. She moved her hands down to the back of his shirt and squeezed it, her nails accidentally digging into his skin. Tears fell down her cheeks and met their joined lips, causing him to pull back with a start.

"Sorry," he said and reached up to wipe her tears away.

Mahima shook her head and sniffled. He had no reason to be sorry. She had all the reasons to be. She wanted to kiss him, she really did, but the moment his lips touched hers, she remembered the abuse that she had gone through and it scared her. It terrified her to no end.

"I shouldn't have gotten carried away. You were looking so beautiful that..." he whispered, his words trailing, and Mahima placed her fingers on his lips.

"It's not you," she told him, shaking her head. "It's... it's me... I don't know... I don't know why I'm here, I don't know why I'm doing this. I feel worthless, hopeless."

Aditya looked alarmed.

"What?" he asked. "Why are you behaving this way all of a sudden?"

"I mean I forget. I forget really easily actually. Especially when you're around me, my life isn't even in my memories. It's like it never happened... but then when you come close, I get reminded... I remember when... when..." she gulped, fresh tears forming in her eyes. "Don't get mad at me, okay?"

Aditya looked at her with a blank expression, like he had no idea of what to expect.

"When you come close I get reminded of when h - he..." she squeezed her eyes shut, the tears falling down her cheeks. She couldn't look him in the eye right now. She was too ashamed.

"He?" Aditya asked, sounding disturbed.

"H - he... h - he hurt me," she whispered. "I always considered him my brother."

"What are you saying?" Aditya asked.

Mahima slowly opened her eyes and looked at him. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. She needed to be held to be able to confess a harsh truth like this one.

He hugged her back and caressed her hair.

"Who hurt you?" Aditya probed.

"M - My - m - my brother," she whispered.

"Why?" Aditya asked, sounding concerned. "What did he do?"

"I - it started when I was fourteen or f - fifteen... h - he liked m - my body... the c - curves he said," she whispered painfully. "H - he told me that if I d - didn't let him then he - he would tell m - mom that I wasn't listening to him. M - mom always told me to listen to my brother."

"Your mom?" Aditya asked, sounding disgusted.

"W - well she didn't know, she still doesn't know that this had been going on," Mahima confessed. "H - he actually... h - he..."

Then she broke down into tears and held on to him tightly, for dear life.

"I don't want to go back," she sobbed. "I don't want to ever go back into that house. I love my mom and dad so much, b - but him... he is scary."

"How bad was it?" Aditya asked, rubbing her back soothingly.

"If I told you, you won't want me anymore," Mahima whispered painfully. "If I told you then you will see me as dirty... maybe I am. B - but I didn't like it. I swear. I hated it. I - I wish I could rip myself apart."

Aditya broke the embrace and wiped her tears as she hiccuped.

"What did he do? Did he just touch you?" Aditya asked.

"J - just touch?" she asked, her eyes wide. "It wasn't just touching... and even if it was, that was enough to make me feel like this... b - but he did so much worse. He - he hurt me so badly... he - he beat me... h - he -"

Aditya placed his hand on her lips, interrupting her.

"Don't tell me anymore. I can't take it," he told her, and she could hear the pain in his voice.

He hugged her again and stroked her hair.

"I'm never letting you go back there," Aditya told her, and Mahima just broke down into more tears. "Never... I won't ever let you go back, even if I have to die for it."

"Don't say things like that," she whispered. "What did I tell you earlier? If we die, we die together."

Aditya just hugged her as tightly as he could as his own eyes prickled with tears.

"I'll kill him," he whispered to her, sounding angry. "I will kill that -"

"Don't," she whispered. "Don't stoop to his level. I hate killers."

Aditya broke the hug and looked into her eyes, a guilty expression on his face. She had confessed her biggest secret to him, and here he was still hiding his own identity.

"You would leave me if I killed someone?" Aditya asked her, meaning it.

"Don't kill someone," Mahima told him, almost in a pleading tone. "Unless it's in self-defense... but even then, avoid it if you can... please... I can't deal with the turmoil of wanting to be with you, but forcing myself to stay away."

So she would go away from him if he killed someone.

What if she found out that he had been on this mission to kill her at the end of it all?

"Let's go inside," he told her, and she nodded.

They laced their fingers together and got out of the lake. Shivering, the two of them went inside to their room, where they grabbed a towel.

"Where's your towel?" she asked him, as his fingers landed on her fingers on top of her towel.

He took the towel from her and wrapped it around her shoulders, leaning in close to her as she shivered.

"Let me dry you," he whispered to her, and she felt her heart skip a beat.

She laid her hands on his chest and leaned close to him as he began to dry her body, strangely feeling herself get more and more turned on as he did. It was almost like she wanted to get even closer to him. She wanted to kiss him again... but this time with no restrictions. With no constraints. She didn't want her memories to limit her. She wanted to go to new heights with him, where there were no limits.

Their love had to be limitless, and for that, she had to release herself from the burden of her mind. 

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