Terrorized By Love [ON HOLD]

Chapter 44: Permission to Love

Mahima took a few steps back and walked over to Ajay, who was still sitting on the living room couch. She wiped her tears away and approached him, feeling bad that he had to hear her words of love to Aditya, but at the same time feeling helpless because emotions could not be planned... and she had enough of suppressing what she felt.

"I'm sorry," Mahima whispered to him.

Ajay stood up and placed his hand on Mahima's cheek. It was a comforting touch.

"Don't be sorry for what you feel," Ajay said to her. "I'll be with my mom tonight."

"I - I won't do anything that will make you upset," Mahima told him, choking on her own words.

"I won't be upset. What you do is between you and him... I don't need to know any of it," Ajay informed. "You are free to do what you like. This marriage was set up to break when he comes back, and now that he is back, you are a free woman."

Mahima squeezed her eyes shut and tried to breathe evenly, but it was difficult. Why was he so nice? Couldn't he be a little bit bad? It was making her feel even more guilty.

"I'll leave. You stay safe... if you need anything then call me," Ajay informed.

Mahima shook her head.

"He won't do anything to me or Ishaan. Don't worry," she said.

"I know. I'll go," Ajay said, and he let his hand fall from her cheek, before he walked out of the house.

His mom lived with some other elderly village ladies. Mahima and Ajay asked her to move in with them, but the elderly ladies preferred that living arrangement since they felt less lonely. Either way, the house was just a few meters away, so it wasn't a big deal. This whole village felt like one home with the interconnectivity.

After Ajay left, Mahima approached Aditya, who was still standing at the entrance corridor.

"I'll make you coffee," she murmured.

He nodded and followed her into the kitchen where she began to make coffee. He sat down in front of the dining table, and after she finished, she placed his mug in front of him, and sat down next to him.

"You didn't make any for yourself?" he asked her.

Mahima pulled her chair closer to him and rested her head against his arm.

"I'll share with you," she whispered. "Now don't say anything."

Aditya nodded and picked up the cup of coffee, taking a sip of it, and then he passed it to Mahima. Fresh tears streamed down her cheeks as she pressed her lips over the place where his lips had been.

"Stop crying," he ordered hoarsely, and Mahima could tell that he was having a hard time controlling his tears too.

"I can't," she whispered. "It hurts too much."

She placed the cup of coffee on the table in front and took a deep breath before turning around and looking him straight in the eye.

"I'm sorry that Ishaan won't be able to call you his father," Mahima whispered.

"Don't be. It's better that way," Aditya replied, although his voice contained pain.

Why couldn't he have a normal life just like everyone else? Why did he have to go down this path? Why did destiny seem to be pre-written for him... why was he destined to be doomed?

"We can't change what's written in the stars," Mahima went on, as if she read his mind. "But we can change the way we see it."

She leaned towards the table and picked up the coffee cup again, taking a sip from the mug.

"I mean... it was written in the stars for me to fall in love with a terrorist, but I don't have to focus on that part. I could just focus on how nice you have been to me... how good you have made me feel," she whispered.

"Don't think so highly of me," he warned.

"I'm not. I'm just thinking highly of my love," she responded, "And I love you a lot... maybe that's why it isn't going away, despite what you've done."

"I'm a terrorist Mahima. I take lives," he rubbed in, with the hope of getting her to finally relent and hate him.

"You're a terrorist, and you may take lives, but for me you're my best friend and the man I love Aditya. It hurts that you've hid it from me. It hurts that you are a terrorist... but I love you. I can't help it. It's beyond my control," she confessed. "So for me, you are only my Aditya. Why should I focus on what brings me pain?"

Aditya reached over to her and cradled her face between his hands. Mahima placed the cup of coffee on the table and leaned closer to him, wanting to get closer, to feel all of him again, because she didn't love him partly, she loved him wholly.

"When the sun rises, I will leave," he informed her.

"I know," she said, holding back her tears, but having them pour out anyways.

"Then you will have Ajay and Ishaan to look after. You have to forget about me," Aditya said to her softly, leaning closer to her.

"I know," she whispered again, resting her hands on his waist gently.

"I will go far away, and we will never meet again," he told her.

"I - I know," she whispered painfully.

A doubt nagged her mind though - how much of their destiny could they control? If he left her, could he really choose not to meet her again? After all, they met today not of their own will, but because the universe bended to unite them, possibly to fulfill a desire from eons ago.

"You have to be happy," he continued, his lips moving even closer to hers.

Her eyes squeezed shut and she breathlessly whispered, "I know."

The moment before his lips touched hers, his warm breath lingering on her mouth, he asked her ever-so-softly, "do I have your permission to show you my love?"

Mahima clutched the sides of his kurta tightly and she whispered, "Yes."

Yes, because she didn't find an expression of love wrong. Yes, because she didn't think that she would meet him again. Yes, because she wanted to savour these last moments together. Yes, because for the last twelve years, her body had been craving for his touch alone. And finally, yes, because she wanted to show him her love too.