Dear Everyone; L.h

four

Dedicated to gaesthetics because your joke was lit

PLEASE READ THE NOTE AT THE END.

comment what you want the gender to be (since in the last book I never really said the gender (i called it a girl once but I think you guys should decide) here for a dedication.

Day 15

Do you ever just feel so alone? Even when you know there are people who adore you and would want nothing more than to be with you?

You feel selfish for having the feelings but can't seem to get them to go away?

Like something is holding your throat tight and your stomach feels like it's doing a million flips at the same time and all you want to do is cry and sleep forever.

That's how I felt right now.

Everyone was getting ready to find out the gender of the baby and I laid in my bed, my face smothered between this journal and a pillow.

Liza was looking at names in a baby book while I sat hating my life.

How could I be so selfish.

How?

.

I sighed before closing the book, tucking it under my pillow.

"You know" Liza says, removing her attention from the baby book and placing it on me.

"Hmm"

"I love you so much, and lately I feel like you don't love me at all"

I could hear the hurt in her voice, but my body felt so exhausted I could barley reply and instead just sighed.

She shook her head and looked down at her thighs "I don't understand what I'm doing wrong" she says

Why am I doing this?

"I love you"

Why am I doing this?

She sighed after a minute of no reply from me.

"Do you even want this baby Luke?"

I look up at her face. Tears were threatening to fall past her creamy brown eyes and onto her pale skin.

"Everyone is picking up slack for you!"

"I get it, you're depressed, but I fucking care why don't you see that?"

"Why don't you care?"

I didn't reply.

She sighed and stood up from her place on the bed.

"when you feel like not being a zombie come and talk to me"

Selfish.

I was so fucking selfish.

Sorry this chapter is extremely short but I wanted to update as soon as possible so that I could thank all of you for all of the amazing support.

It goes both ways by the way. If any of you are ever feeling sad or have something you guys want to talk about I am always here and I am always willing to make new friends.

Kik me @FingerMeCal

Snapchat me @FingerMeCal

(:

I love you guys so much

Thank you.
(Updated in 2019)