Dear Everyone; L.h

one

Dedicated to halcyonish

Pls don't rip your heart out, that would hurt.

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Day six

I wonder if she'll look like me, or maybe her mum.

If she looked like me I don't know what I'd do.

If Liza was gone and I was left to take care of the baby all by myself and it looked like her, the break downs would almost be continuous. Why was I doing this?

A few mornings ago Liza woke me up with a soft cry. The bed was empty and little drops of red settled on the wood floor leading up to our bathroom.

I couldn't explain the emotions that coursed through my body, sadness, fear? I couldn't tell the difference at the time but I let myself walk to the bathroom door that was closed shut, behind it small sobs erupted from Liza's lips.
I knocked.

She didn't answer, but the sobs had stopped and were instead replaced with small quiet sniffles.

My chest tightened at the sound of her pain.

I closed my eyes, trying my best to hold myself together.

"Liza baby, whats wrong?" I ask.
My words soft and tender, scared that if I spoke a little bit too harsh she would break.

She let another cry out "I don't know whats wrong"

I tried as best as I could to maintain myself, to not cry or break, but the sound of her scratchy voice literally killed me.

It sounded like she had yelled for hours, her voice almost gone but still there enough that you could hear it scratch and wheeze.

I close my eyes tightly "Liza, can I come in?"

She didn't answer me that time but I still slowly opened the creaking door to see her sitting on the toilet with a glass full of a red substance.

I smile at the sight, relieved.

"Liza what did you do?"

She looked down at the glass and wiped her nose "I spilled my glass of juice and I didn't want you to get mad at me for staining the floor"

The amount of love I felt in that moment nearly killed me.

I stared at her beautiful face in adoration.

"Come on princess, lets clean it up together yeah?" She set the glass down and nodded before wiping away her tears.

Why did I want to leave such a beautiful person behind?

-Luke

It was five in the morning, my eyes bloodshot from the lack of sleep and my back sore from the lack of support as I sat quietly on a swing.

I sat at the park across the road from my house for nearly four hours, my back turned away from it as I stared silently at the tress and the grass and sometimes at my phone that didn't turn on this time either. I had tried nine other times to turn it on, each time not any more fortunate than the last.

I sighed.

I didn't know what I wanted to do. My life was so well planned out and now here I sit at five in the morning in the cold with no phone, staring at trees that gave oxygen to my useless lungs.

I closed my eyes and rested my head softly against the metal chain.

I listened closely to the wind dancing before slowly stopping just to pick up again. Dirt and leaves hit my feet but I ignored it and kept my eyes closed.

I tried to picture my baby.

What he or she would be like.

If it would love me and be proud of who I was.

If it would miss me if I was gone.

Sorry the chapters are so short.

I promise that they will get longer as the time goes by ^.^

Don't forget to vote and comment (:

I love you guys bunches.

-kenzi
(Edited in 2019)