Dear Everyone; L.h

seven

Hiaa! I'm sorry it takes me so long to update I'm really busy with trying to get prepared for school and not stress about certain things but Hey I'm back now!! I missed you all so very much. 😍

Dedicated to MendesAndHisMuffins because first of all you're so kind and second of all your @ is so adorable ^.^

Comment the weirdest thing you have ever said (or thought ) to a teacher to get a dedication <3

Day 21

I haven't slept in a couple of days, I've been running off of coffee and the sound of Liza's voice.

I look like a zombie, I feel like the ocean.

So unknown and so blue.

I'm starting to compare myself with things that aren't living and if I don't stop soon I feel like I'm going to end up drowning in the ocean I am.

Liza said she's worried about me, I understand why. Everyday I seem to get worse and worse.

She asked me if I needed to go somewhere. Although I know she means well, it's so blatantly obvious that she meant a hospital of some sort.

I don't think that would help.

I don't think anything can help.

I feel like I have a terminal disease.

I'm not sure what to do anymore.

-luke

I shut my notebook then tuck it under the edge of the thick mattress Liza and I share and sigh. Nothing seems right anymore.

I feel upside down. That being the only way to describe how I feel and who I am.

I am an upside down ocean.

Liza is staying at her father's for the night and then her mother's tomorrow, they both live in millwock which happened to be two hours away.

When she was leaving she kissed me once and then twice and then one more time "for good luck" she said. It made me feel good.

I miss her.

I lean back on the bed, my thin arms just kind of awkwardly laying at my side.

I shut my eyes and think back to a year ago when everything was going okay. Liza and I had been living in Georgetown instead of Calvin where we live now. Both of us living on our own.

I remember when Liza brought up that we should move in together. She was nervous and so was I.

But it turned out perfect. We looked for houses in every city close to Georgetown until finally she found the one we live in now.

"A Victorian home with brand new flooring and paint" she had said to me. She peered at me through her thin glasses that she had only worn when she were to read.

I look through the pictures, the house having two bedrooms and one and a half bathrooms. The flooring being beautiful dark brown wood and the walls shimmering in a thin coat of pale beige paint.

I remember smiling and turning to look into her beautiful brown eyes "it's the one" I said.

And now almost a year later.

The house is still beautiful, but now with built in memories the two of us now share.

Like the hole in the wall from when Liza and I had wrestled and I ended up bumping my head, or the chip in the bathtub when Calum had filled it up with milk and cereal and attempted to eat it with a giant metal spoon but instead grazed it across the bottom causing a very displeasing sound to erupt throughout the room and also for a small piece of paint to come off from the bottom of the tub.

Why again did I want to leave this life?

Why was I so willing to leave all of these wonderful things behind?

I rolled over onto my side, breathing in and falling asleep the best that I could without hearing Liza softly snore beside me.

I hope you guys liked this chapter!!! I really tried my hardest with this one.

Please vote and comment.

By the way I live in Michigan guys ^.^

I'm not sure if any of these cities exist but hey who cares
Baii

-kenzi

(Updated in 2019)