Dear Everyone; L.h

eleven

Dedicated to -princessofhemmo you should have your friend make an account and post on here (: I would love to read something of hers one day <3

Comment what the baby's name should be (here) for a dedication (and a follow)

Thank you all so much for the support, it really means a lot to me and I hope all of you are having a great holiday season no matter what you celebrate, even if you don't celebrate anything, have a great new year and stay happy <3

Also sorry for being late with this chapter, it was my last day of school before break on Tuesday and I slept all day yesterday but I will try my best to also update tomorrow as planned <3 lots of love.

day 36

Sometimes I wish there was an easier answer to why I was depressed.

I sometimes think that I was a mistake like I wasn't meant to be here.

Since I have been in the hospital I have been asked various questions by different doctors who are all sure that they can "cure" me.

Some of them being -

"how was your childhood?"

"what was your mother like?"

"were you bullied as a kid?"

"why are you the way you are?"

I didn't feel like answering any of them, none of the answers would help them with the end result and I was sure of it.

These people may act like they're trying to help but not once since I've been here have any of them bothered to get to know me or even ask me about how I really felt or what I thought was wrong with me.

They shoved diagnosis after diagnosis down my throat along with different medications that were all perfectly planned with each one of my meals, which I had to have four times a day with a side of either bananas or pudding.

I am tired of pudding and bananas.

I want to go home.

I miss Liza.

-Luke

-

I shut my journal tightly before hugging it to my chest, it was the only thing they let me bring from home and it was also the only thing that smelt like home.

I brought the old leather notebook to my nose, breathing in.

I sigh and move my journal away from my nose and place it under my pillow, making sure both of the straps are tightly tied.

I look up to see my roommate giving me a strange look.

"For fucks sake mate are you one of those nobs that like to sniff everything? is that why you're here yeah? did ya sniff too much glue?"

He had a thick British accent, almost too thick. I could barely make out what he was saying, his blonde hair was thrown messily into a bun and his face hadn't been shaven in what looks like a few days.

He was pretty muscular, tall too. I wonder why he was in here, he looks happy but I already know first hand that looks are deceiving.

"did ya hear what I was getting at?"

I shake my head and he sighs "Look do you sniff glue or not because I enjoy a bit of art and crafts every now and then and I don't quite feel like hiding my glue every time you come around"

Still confused as to what he was getting at I shake my head "I don't sniff glue...um why would you even think that?"

He points towards my notebook and I chuckle "It just smells like home" I say

"yeah, I know the feeling"

He introduced himself as Kaleb and then said he was going to be late to his session before waving goodbye and leaving.

After he left I decided to get caught up on some rest, that is until dinner time.

I've been here for little over a week and my first session is tomorrow, and to be honest I'm terrified. I don't know what they're going to ask or what they're going to do with the information that I give them.

I felt like my heart was going to explode with anxiousness, I close my eyes tight and let myself calm down before sighing and looking off at the other side of the room where Kaleb slept.

Everything felt so surreal, I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow or the day after that, I wish I had the answers to everything.

Thank all of you so much for sticking with me even though the chapter are really short and suck balls. I'm trying my hardest t o update at frequent as I can.

I'm sure some of you understand, with finals and keeping my grades up to a b average. Updating becomes sort of hard.

But if you guys want to read something better than this with longer chapters then you should go read my story called prison boy. It's my first Michael fic and the first chapter has 2082 words.

So give this and that story a voteee.

love you guy's bunches.

(Edited in 2019)