Dear Everyone; L.h

fourteen

Dedicated to pizzachloee bc I love brown eyes ❤

All eyes are beautiful but brown eyes are just my favorite. Especially when they flash in the light and they look like almonds. Idk.

Comment here one thing that only your state/city has/does for a dedication.

Mine is meijers lmao fuck Michigan.

I remember when I was younger and first met Liza. We were both sixteen at the time and my band and I had just began to gain a following, nothing serious though. Mike and I were sitting in Oak park, he had his acoustic guitar and I mostly sang.

I was just starting to learn to not be so nervous when singing around other people and not in my shower when Calum had brought up that Mike and I should try playing in the park, sort of like a confidence exercise.

To say the least, it worked.

Him and I were singing a song by the front bottoms when I saw her.
Suddenly it was as if I couldn't speak and everything around me was blurred and all I saw was her, she was laughing at something her little sister had said and then she turned to look at me, and right there and then I forgot every song I've ever written, and every lyric to every song I've ever listened to.

She came up to Mike and I... everything blossomed from there.

Until -

...

I stop writing and shake my head, this didn't feel real. I should be living like that, even now. I should be with Liza, my arms around her waist as I place small kisses to the back of her neck where she liked them the most.

I should be rubbing small hearts with my finger around her belly button, only stopping to press kisses all over.

I should be playing with her hair until she falls asleep, and when she does fall asleep I should be there to adore the small snores that escape her lips.

I should be there with her and I'm not.

Why am I not there with her? How could I have been so fucking selfish?

I shake my head again when I notice the tears that had been falling down my cheeks, I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of this sooner.

I lift myself off of my bed, not stopping to notice that Kalebs things were gone, or the fact that someone new had been laying in his bed, snoring obnoxiously, and instead I left our room for the first time in three days, not stopping for anything or anyone until I finally make it to the black door.

I was ready to go back home.
And this time I would stay there.

I knock three hard times before it swings open revealing a short lady with long black hair and a long nose.

She gave me a once over before moving so that I could come in.

"Leaving so soon?" she asks as I shut the door, instead of answering her I take one of the papers from her desk and begin filling it out.

"You do know how this works right?" she asks with furrowed brows.

Not waiting for my reply she continues "this is only a request to be evaluated so that you can possibly leave, even if you do get accepted for an evaluation its not one hundred percent sure to give you a full ride back home"

I knew that, of course I knew that. But I felt different from before, I know now just how lucky I am to be alive and how lucky I should feel.

Here I am in one of the most expensive inpatient facilities in the world and if that doesn't sound stuck up then I don't know what does.

I finish filling out the questions and finally lift my head to meet her eyes, they were wide and brown, for the first time I took notice of this.

It was as if I were finally taking notice of everything. When was the last time I tried to make contact with the boys, Liza, and what about my family? Had I forgot about them this entire time? Did I not think to tell them about this? Were they not important enough to me to know?

I shake my head at my ignorance before giving the old lady a genuine smile "you have a good day"

And then I left, not saying another word or even caring about the surprised look she had been giving me the entire time.

I was ready to leave, and I was ready to start over. I know this now.

Sorry this is so shit and short, next chapter is going to be super sad.

Also this is coming to an end pretty soon (tragic, I know)

Anyways, love you guys and thanks!
(Edited in 2019)