My Full Eclipse

Chapter 3

"Are you fucking serious right now?" I ask in disbelief at her nonchalant attitude. "What, was I supposed to be angry? Curse you out? Call you all kinds of offensive names?" I shrug honestly having expected a reaction somewhat similar to that.

"Maya its 2016 not 1896. Being gay or bi isn't the end of the world. It's nothing to be ashamed or afraid of, no matter what the haters say. If you wanna be gay, be gay. If you wanna be bisexual then be bisexual. If you wanna be straight then damn it be straight, just as long as whatever you decide makes you happy and you're safe. Its not my or anyone else's decision to make for you. You have to do what you feel like will help you be the best you that you can be. Just know that whatever your heart leads you to I'll be right here to support you every step of the way. I told you, unconditional love little sister, no matter what." She says putting the carton down and opening her arms, motioning for me to hug her. I blink back tears of relief and hug her, thankful that I have such an amazing big sister.

She messes up my hair and I pull away giggling before wiping the remaining tears off my face. "Have you talked to anyone else about this My?" She questions and I shake my head no. "Hmm I see why you were so wound up then. So how have you been feeling around Cassidy?"

"I feel like if I don't hold on to something I'll float right off. Like my face might get stuck from how much I smile. She makes me feel like a lyric in a love song you know? Cass just...she just...I-I can't explain it really, she just makes me feel if that makes any sense." My eyes flick back to Nicky (I didn't realize I wasn't looking at her until just then) to see if she's following along with me and she nods for me to continue.

"Like I'm happy but whenever she comes around I skip cloud nine and go right to cloud ninety-nine." I sigh and lie back on her bed, putting my hands behind my head. "Well I'd say your crushing pretty hard if that smile and blush is any indication of things." I'm blushing? I didn't even realize I was smiling.

Too bad she doesn't like me back like that.

I frown when I realize this. Damn my active mind. Nicky sighs and picks the carton of ice cream back up along with the other spoon. "Open." She says holding the spoon near my face and I do just that, enjoying the cold treat as I try not to think about my unrequited feelings.

How do I know for sure that she doesn't like me back? I mean she is always hanging off me almost like she's trying to flirt. Nah I'm just trying to read into something that's not there...but then again.

No. Nope. People in hell have a better chance of getting a glass of ice water.

I sigh and sit back up, taking the spoon from Nicky and scooping out a good amount of ice cream to eat. "It's really sucks having these feelings you know? Like she makes me feel so good but so bad at the same time." I put the spoon down and sit cross legged with my elbows on my knees and my chin in my hands.

"If I tell her I could ruin our friendship." I shake my head and sigh "Is this how Drake feels? A constant state of confliction interrupted by brief bouts of the need to turn up to try and forget the feels. Having feelings suck." I hear snickering before I feel Nicky start to rub my back again. "I know little nugget, I know. And your problem is you have such a big heart. One day you'll get to give it to someone, it might be Cassidy" I start to protest but she cuts me off.

"OR. It might be somebody else. All I'm saying is that you'll never know unless you do something about it. It's like mom says 'Anything worth having isn't easy to obtain. And  You have to be willing to take risks and lose big in order to gain something of value', that's how her dad got together remember." I narrow my eyes and cock my head to the side.

"Did you forget they also got divorced though." I point out and she rolls her eyes. "No but if they hadn't gotten married we would've never been born. And you would have never been alive to meet Cassidy and even get to be friends with her."

Damn Nicole and her use of logic.

"You're right, I guess." I mumble and she hums in approval of my acknowledgment. "So what do I do? How exactly do I go about this hmm?" I wait for some world rocking advice only to be met with a shrug. "I just go for it. If I see something, or in this case someone, I want then I go get it. But that's just me, you gotta do what you think is best for you." She gets up to stretch before cleaning up our ice cream leftovers and takes the spoons back downstairs to the kitchen. I grab my phone out of my pocket while trying  (and failing) to stifle a yawn.

I lean back against the headboard as I check my messages only to see that I missed a couple from Cassidy while I was talking to Nicky.

Cass: Hey I made it home.
Cass: OMG moms trying to feed me even though I ate at the party. She's low key trying to kill me lol
Cass: Did you fall asleep already bitch?? 🤔
Cass: 😪 you must be out cold. Night my sleepy little boho babe.

She called me her boho babe. Maybe she didn't mean anything by it. But this is the second time she's called me babe.

I yawn again having a hard time keeping my eyes open. I didn't realize how draining talking about all this would be. I vaguely hear Nicky come back and say something to me but I don't bother responding and allow myself to be carried off to the land of dreams.