My Full Eclipse

Chapter 2

"Are you sure you don't wanna spend the night?" I ask Cass as I walk her to the front door. "Ugh don't tempt me" she groans "Mom'll kill me if I'm not on that plane tomorrow and we both know I won't be if I stay over" Every summer Cassidy's family takes a two week trip, this year they're going to Paris. "I wish you were coming this year" she tells me before engulfing me in a hug. "Gay!" I hear Nicole call out as she walks by. "Shut up Nicky!" I yell as I pull back then look at Cass and give her a weak smile.

"See ya in two weeks?" I say. She smiles back then leans in.

Oh dear god what is this. No this can't be happening, I haven't even figured myself out yet.

As I'm trying not to freak completely the hell out she keeps leaning till she kisses...my cheek.

Whew ok that I can work with.

"See ya in two weeks My." I wait till she gets in her car before closing the door and sliding down to the floor holding my head in my hands.

This isn't ok. I have a serious problem, I can't be gay. I mean I can be but I'm not, so why do I have these feelings. I wish I had someone to talk to about this, I can't talk to Cass cause she's the cause of these feelings!

"Hey have you seen my-dude why are you on the floor?" Nicole asks when she sees me on the sitting on the floor.

Maybe Nicky can help.

"Nicky remember when we were younger and mom and daddy had just gotten divorced" she nods "and those sleepovers we would have in your room?" She walks over and kneels down to my level.

"Yeah I remember those, what's up? You look like someone just kicked your puppy." I sigh and open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out as my emotions start to swell inside my chest. "Ok how about you go put on your pjs and meet me in my room ok?" I look up to see her standing and offering me a hand to help me up. "But I thought you were going out to a party with Ryan and the others" I question as I try to blink away tears.

"Well I obviously can't leave when you're this upset, what kind of big sister would I be?" She pulls me into a hug before telling me to go change again. I sniffle a bit before heading upstairs to my room. By the time I get there a few tears have managed to escape and are rolling down my face. I wipe them away and take a few deep breaths to get my emotions in check before changing and going to Nicky's room.

Her door's already open when I get there so I just walk in and lay on on her bed. She walks in already in her pjs and holding a pint of ice cream and two spoons, "Alright kid I got ice cream just like old times" she kicks her door closed behind her before setting the ice cream down on her night stand then sitting next to me. "So what's got my little sister so down in the dumps today hmm?" I take a deep breath and swallow before sitting up and looking at her. "I...I..."

What'll she say if I tell her? She'll hate me, I know she will. This isn't ok.

"I just..." I sniffle and feel a few tears run down my face. "I don't want you to hate me" I whisper pulling my legs up to my chest. "Maya" I feel her put a hand on my back "There is nothing you could do to ever make me hate you. You're my little sister, I love you unconditionally no matter what." This causes me to start sobbing out loud. Nicky envelopes me in a hug, rubbing my back to try and calm me down. We sit like this for a while, me crying and Nicole holding me, before I calm down.

"Nicole I think I..." I swallow and take a deep breath "I think I might be gay or bi or-" I let out a shaky breath "I don't know, I'm not really sure. The only thing I do know is that I've been feeling weird around Cassidy lately." I hear a sharp intake of breathe.

I knew it. She hates me now, she's gonna throw me out any second now.

Instead of the curses and slurs I expected to be hurled at me I hear laughing. I wipe my eyes and look up to see Nicky chuckling and shaking her head at me. "Oh Maya, sis, you had me really worried there for a minute." She takes a deep breath then reaches for the ice cream and a spoon. "I mean I thought you had like killed somebody or committed some kind of crime." She says after swallowing a spoonful of the ice cream.

Is she fucking serious right now?