Facing him again (complete)

Chapter 17 - The rock

My mind has been working over time since I saw Damion yesterday. After seeing him my feelings and emotions are very mixed up especially the fact that I've realized that I still have feelings for him. Why does he still have this type of impact on me? It's been 5 years I thought after all this time and after everything that happened my feelings for him would have dissipated and that it wont start up again when I see him. Ug!! This is so frustrating! How is it possible for me to still have feelings for him? Everything about him is still so familiar to me.

I got so lost in my thoughts that I haven't realized that I'm out of breath and sweating like it is in fashion, looking down at the treadmill's screen I realized that I've been speeding up the treadmill as I got more frustrated. Yes, I decided to take a jog at about 4 in the morning. I just needed to let go of my frustrations. I went to take a shower and decided to sit in one of the spare bedrooms of the house that has the best view of the sunrise. My mom used to come and sit here on the balcony and watch the sunrise when she was awake during that time. Just as I settled and allowed my thoughts to drift towards TJ. I really do like him but with him and Damion being friends ... complicates things a bit. I'm also not sure if I am ready for another relationship especially a serious one. Why does my life have to be so complicated?!

My thoughts was interrupted when I felt my phone vibrate.

TJ: Hey Z, how are you holding up? I hope I'm not waking you up but knowing you you probably did not sleep at all. Damion told me he saw you ...

He knows me too well, I'm starting to think that I'm way to easy to read, but I must admit it feels good to know that he knows me this well. Que the warm and fuzzy feeling.

Azora: I was just thinking about you hope your ears did not burn too much ;) You are correct sir I haven't slept all night, my thoughts has been keeping me awake too much, How about you? Why aren't you sleeping it's still extremely early.

TJ: I tossed and turned the whole night too and eventually gave up on sleeping all together. You still haven't answered my question. How are you holding up?

Azora: Between barely and on the brink of insanity. It feels like I'm going to explode with all my frustrations. I'm trying to get my mind off of it but so far I'm not succeeding at all.

TJ: Maybe I can help with that? Want some company?

Azora: That would be great, probably just what I need :)

TJ: Awesome, will you open up the door then? I'm already in front of your house.

Azora: You know you took a very wild guess showing up like this right? But I'm glad you did. Use the spare key under the welcome mat, I'm on the porch of the blue spare room.

I waited for his reply but it never came. Just as I was about to get worried TJ showed up in the doorway with two mugs of white hot chocolate. He sat next to me and handed one of the mugs to me.

"Hey" I smiled at him as I took the mug, but something is off. He is not looking at me completely.

"Hey to you too. What are you doing up here?" He leaned with his back against the wall brushing his arm against mine which made me mentally gasp at his touch.

"I took a very over done jog and decided to watch the sunrise it always calms me down."

With that we lapsed into a comfortable silence watching as the sun came up lazily, coloring the sky with bright oranges and soft pinks. I wish we could stay like this forever, just TJ and I without any interruptions. I was itching to put my head on his shoulder and snuggle up to him but I decided not to, I don't want to send mixed signals to him and complicate things even more.