TEENAGERS (English) #Wattys2016

10.THE WORLD IS UGLY

That day it wasn't one of the best ones of the school year at all.

Things were getting better at Frank's side. That's why that day they got worse again.

Frank had a heavy cold so he had considered it would be better to stay home.

The fact that Gerard had spent the day alone like in the old days had became a perfect chance for his bullies to annoy him. Especially with those absurds "What happened, ball of fat, did your little boyfriend got sick of you? It isn't strange I guess he realized how much 'heavy' is being with you.", playing with that last adjective's double meaning and, as always, laughing at his weight even though he had lately lost some.

And, also as always, Gerard didn't say nothing. He just felt as usless and unloved as before.

When the bell that annouced the break rang, Gerard already expected the worst to come.

Once he was outside, he went to the same place he had been sitting with Frank during those last weeks.

Shortly after he had put his ass on the ground, he already saw Chris and his crew walking up to him. "Great..." he ironically thought.

"Hey, fat rat, is that sandwich tasty?" he said in a derogatory manner pointing at his lunch which he had just bit. "I don't think it's good for your health, though. Let me help you."

Then, Chris kicked his arm and it caused him pain but also his sandwich to fly away. One of his friends grabbed it and threw it on the bin which was just next to them.

"This way you'll be skinnier and prettier. Maybe it even makes your dear Frank love you again." He maliciously smiled before he went away. There wasn't more fun left there.

That day he wasn't just without Frank, now he also didn't have lunch. His stomach was growling but he tried to ignore it. Maybe the sandwich was still whole inside the bin but it would be dirty and the only thing he would get would be them to laugh even more at him. He had never wanted to told any teacher about any of those humiliations since that would just bring more problems.

He just wanted calm and peace! Why?! Why did they have to mess with him just because he was 'fat' or with Frank because he was bisexual!? Why didn't they leave them alone? Calm! Was that too much to ask for? The fact that they were 'different' seriously gave everyone the right to annoy them? That was really unfair! That was ugly. The world was ugly.

Suddenly, he thought of Frank. He thought of how protected he would have felt in that moment if he had been next to him. He wouln't have felt that bad for what they had just told them because he would have known at least there was somebody who loved him the way he was... Because Frank loved him, right? Well, at least he had kissed him and they had have sex together. But even so, did that really mean something to Frank?

Because it did for him. He did love Frank. He loved him with all his heart, he loved him more everyday. He used to think love didn't exist, but there was him, super in love with that special boy.

He saw his face on his mind. He thought of how he looked at him that day they shared an umbrella under the rain, that day he kissed him for first time in the high school's bathroom, the day they had sex at his house... That precious face.

With Frank, he had learned to see everything in a different way.

He was right to make him see the two of them were special since now he saw that was exactly what bothered the others who were just a bunch of scared of showing how they actually were guys preferring to follow the herd, pointing and trying to invalidate the bravest ones rather than being true to themselves. Yes, Gerard and Frank were the brave ones, the ones who dared to let themselves go and show how their heart beat and what it said to them. And that ended up making them be also happier than the cowards who ingnored theirs' essence which was impossible to cancel no matter how hard they tried even though their heart burned trying to free the strength and the unique personality of the invincible flames trapped by fear. Fear was shown in the fact that although they were only two fighting together the coward hearts needed to be almost an army to go against them.

He had already overcome many dark nights and blinding lights, now he didn't have to fight alone but with Frank. It didn't matter if they messed with him or if there were bad and dark days anymore. After everytime the sun fell and after the sky got dark there was a new bright morning, that was something which had been proved thanks to Frank. But that day he felt empty without him.

And indeed, the world was ugly and unfair. But that seemed to fade away or at least to be reduced a little bit thanks to people like Frank, fighting that ugliness with a big dose of beauty. Not only with his looks but also with his inner beauty. Everything seemed a little bit prettier with Frank by his side either because, just as Gerard believed, that wonderful boy really could light everything around him up or because since Gerard was in love with him he forgot all the sadness around them focusing on what to his lover heart was Frank's unbeatable beauty.

Thanks to Frank he had stopped crying in silence needing to get how useless and unloved he felt out of his chest every night. Cries didn't help him anymore just because he didn't need it. Frank had dried his tears of pain which didn't let him see a future which could and was starting to be brighter. Thanks to Frank now he was starting to believe a little more in the world and especially in himself, in his natural personality and his unique essence.

That was what Gerard was, with his virtues and his flaws. And he had to learn to trust that since it was just the only thing nobody could never take from him and the only thing which would never left him. And he hoped Frank didn't do it either... Because he wouldn't, right?

What Gerard didn't know was that, in other circumstances or in another already explored life, he wouldn't have met Frank yet but he would have been forced to leave him some years later. In another past life.

But not in that one.

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