Midnight struck, and I couldn't help but not sleep. I got up and went to the bathroom and sat on my chamber pot, then came out a big fat juicy hair ball the size of the burning sun. Screaming out I felt like a cow giving birth to a hippopotamus. I got done, not whipping my turdcutter. I started to brush my one tooth with uncles hair brush. I didn't want to go to school today because of Sasha.
I went down stairs to check our family emails. I got one from the school I attended.
Dear parent/guardians of Suesen birtha,
I'm sorry to inform you that your child has been missing a lot of school, and when she does come, she acts very feral and suspicious at times. We think it's best for your child to seek professional help before continuing school.
Thank you.
I sat the note down and began to eat a random raw crud nugget I found on the ground. It didn't taste like mine but I didn't care. I kept scrolling down and saw another Email from the psychiatric ward, whoever that was. I clicked the mouse into it and read:
Dear mrs and mr birtha, we are sorry to inform you that we will be taking Suesen birtha to stay here at the hospital while we help her get better.
Thank you
I didn't know what these notes said but whatever. I thru the emails on the ground and went to the fridgatator. There was a big fat mud pie patiently waiting for me to swallow it whole, but once I did that I immediately knew I was in trouble. I was throwing myself from wall to wall choking from the the swallow. My natural instincts kicked in and all of a sudden, I started to poop my tunic and with that, all the build up began flowing out of me like Niagara Falls. And my mud pie went down onto the carpet.
I was so tired of today. I began watching cockroaches run across my eye lids. And into my tunic. I got up and went outside and rolled up like a peice of turd, on the grass like I was apart of Mother Nature. I fell asleep and snored hard and loud and cars passed my me calling me a hobo while throwing their fecal matter at me. I liked it it kept me warm on this very hot day.
