four walls (breathe out)

chapter fifteen: grey

NOW SAT on Kelly's picnic blanket in the Joseph families backyard Josh can't help but feel like Brendon's lover boy comment is becoming more and more true.

He's watching from the grass as Tyler and Chris play ball on the court he built himself, Kelly rambling next to him.

"Jenna was the first to know, besides Monica. About Tyler's conditions, I mean. You've honestly been such a big help. He's been happy, before you came along it was noticeably almost always fake. But now...now he has a permanent smile."

Josh blushes to himself as he watches Tyler score, jumping around like a kid as he screams.

"He's pretty good," Josh compliments. "At basketball." Kelly sighs.

"Yeah, super good. He planned on being an NBA star when he was younger but as the years went and things got tougher I guess he lost interest in that."

Josh finds himself frowning at that. Tyler deserves the world, he shouldn't give up on his dreams.

"I'm still very confused on why Monica would end things so suddenly." Josh's eyes widen, his heart thumping wildly.

"M-me too."

"I mean, no one was forcing her to stay but she could of at least been gentler. Maybe checked up on him or something. It's so odd.."

With sweaty palms Josh grabs another strawberry, hoping that if his mouth his full he won't have to tell anymore lies.

"I've seen her hanging around with that Pete boy, the one who gives Tyler a rough time. It's upsetting really." Josh nods lightly, trying not to seem to nervous. "Josh I want to thank you."

Said boy chokes on his food before looking to Mrs. Joseph in confusion.

"Thank me?"

"Yeah, you've made my son very happy. You're practically all he ever talks about and I haven't seen him frown in days." She laughs. "I honestly think that the only reason he's not still crying over Monica, how he got over her so quickly, is you."

"Oh, I'm sure it's not." Josh says shyly.

"It is! I just have one question though."

Josh's mouth goes dry. She's onto him, she knows he's the cause of the break up, she knows he put that idea in Petes head.

"O-okay."

"Are you interested in him?" Josh is very taken aback as he stares at the woman who's smiling.

"What?"

"Are you interested in him?" She repeats.

"Romantically?" She nods and Josh looks to where Tyler is wrapped up in his dad's arms, laughing as he's being tickled.

He wants to say yes, because Josh is very interested in this woman's son. He wants to kiss him, and hold him, and tell him how amazing he is every second of everyday.

But sadly that can never happen. Not only because of Pete and his position but because he's leaving for America in less than half a year. It would never work out. Josh sighs.

"There's obstacles in my way." Is his reply and Kelly seems to understand as she looks away and follows his gaze to where her son is.

"I'm not saying this because he's my son, I'm saying it because you're obviously making some rough decisions in this very moment. But there's a lot of pressure on you as a senior to make the right choices and to be responsible, but if Tyler makes you happy, if he makes you want to sing and dance and smile then maybe you're fighting for the wrong things."