Infatuated (girlxgirl)

Buzzing

After the amazing time when my lips locked against hers and our crazy frenzy of either nervous or embarrassing laughing, Jo refuses to let me walk home by myself. We walk up the road, each taking turn to randomly shout out "goals!" As if kissing your friend down an Alleyway but it meaning nothing was friend goals.

I reach halfway down the long winding road, Jo's road and turn on my heels, begging her to go home now so we could get home at the same time, roughly, and be able to message each other. It sounded slightly rude but she knew I was being sincere and that was honestly my reasoning for her to not walk me all the way.

It was sweet she wanted too, it made me feel as if maybe the kiss wasn't one way in the way that I loved it because I'm totally and undeniably in love with her and that maybe she could possibly have some feelings for me. I hope, I wish.

Jo hugs me, her arms wrapped tightly around my waist and mine around her neck. I lean into the grove of her shoulder and neck and my breathing calms even though it wasn't erratic, I just feel safe in her arms, like nothing can hurt me.

The hug lasts longer than any hug I've ever had with her and it might just be me but I know it feels more heartfelt, more of a meaning to it. We both break off each other at the same time and her hand stays on my side, intentional or not it didn't bother me. We look at each other, in silence yet our eyes say a thousand words. "You're gay," she jokes poking her tongue at me.

"And you love it." I shoot back, a smirk at my mouth. "Well duh," she smiles but rolls her eyes all the same in a happy way. Her hand drops and she picks her phone out of her tight pockets and presses the top button. Some time along the way home she turned it back on again and it kept vibrating every two seconds. She said she'd deal with him later and I felt bad, but not bad enough as I was doing him, Jo and I a favour.

It would probably hurt him more if he were to find out that he got cheated on by the only girlfriend he has ever had and for it to be with a girl would no doubt crush his manhood. His friends would never let him live it down, I swear it.

"Oh sh*t, you've got four minutes!" She says worriedly, her words fast and eyes wide. I realise I have to leave now and I mean this very second. I'm going to have to run too. "Okay, okay message me when you're home I really have to go," I walk backwards ad I say this, loosing more time for the pure reason I could stay with her longer.

I turn on my heels when I see her nod and start jogging back down the opposite end of the road to her. I don't stop to check if there's a car, which luckily there isn't, when I run across the road.
I make it to the Zebra crossing and waiting impatiently for the cars to stop. Who knows how much time I have left? And I could not be late.

They stop, both ways and I place my hand up as to say thank you, and run across this road too. A smile is tugging at my lips but I force myself not to smile until I'm in the safety of my room or the conservatory. I gently jog to my front door, praying it was 5:59 and I was on time.

I knock loudly and stand, shifting on my feet. The white door opens and my mum is standing in front of me with a look of surprise on her face instantly making me self conscious. "What?" I ask, wondering why she still hasn't moved to let me in. "Well you're home early," she finally moves. I walk in, and stand on the corner step of the stairs to face her.

"What? No I'm not, you said six?" It was a statement but I sound confused. She raises her eyebrows and laughs. "No, I said seven but you're in now so." With that she starts walking back towards the front room leaving me there to think if Curtis was really that stupid he can't read the difference between six and seven or if he just wanted me to go home so he could potentially spend the extra hour with Jo himself.

As if I'd let that happen for f*ck sake, silly b*stard. I walk up the stairs, skipping one between each step so it makes it quicker and open the door to my room. The first thing I do is reach for my back pocket so I can message her.

As I type my password I sit myself down on my unmade duvet - I didn't have time to make it before I was rushed to Curtis' - and go straight to my texts. The top person is her, of course, and I click on the white rectangular box to imessage her yet before I could ever do so, a text came through from the one and only.

"Hey xx".

She must have gotten home before me, which even to me must've meant she ran home too because there's no way she got home from the end of her road in four minutes. Or maybe she was using 3hg, but I wasn't going to sit here and dwell on how she was contacting me after the most amazing moment of my life just occurred with the most beautiful person on the planet.

" Hey gurl xx" I reply, crossing my legs and sitting with my back against the head board. It said 'seen' instantly which means she is waiting on me, for me and I feel the familiar form of butterflies float about my insides, the feelings I always get with her.

She texts back and it reads, "I'm sorry but I'm still buzzing from that kiss...xx". Now I'm really starting to feel the butterflies, it's almost as if they're about to fly out of me. I am genuinely so happy right now my whole body is shaking. In a good way.

Without a second thought I quickly message her back saying, " oh my god me too xx" because I am, I'm not lying. While waiting for her reply, even though she's still on our chat I feel my shoes dig into my thighs from the way I'm sitting. I uncross them and bend to take my shoes off, throwing them across the room. My phone dings. I check it.

"It's going to sound weird but can we like, do it again? If you want too?xx".

I reply, on the edge of screaming to the world how much I wanted too and how I just wanted her to be mine. " sure, yeah. Of course. But when?xx".

A minute or two went by, my head clouded over with feelings I didn't know even existed. I didn't even know I could care more about this girl than I already currently did and that amazes me. It dings again, and before I read it I turn my phone to silent. I hated that stupid noise but I love what it means. I read what she says. "Um we have to be careful. We should walk home tomorrow after school, take the long way?xx".

'I'm up for that.' Is what I think to say, quoting her of last night but I put " yussss xx" instead and our conversation just increases from there about how both of us are undeniably ecstatic and still buzzing and it's true because I really am. I wasn't expecting her to ask to kiss me again. But she has and it feels f*cking great!

Before I go down for dinner I quickly ask her, "So, do you like girls?xxx". It was risky, I know. I could get my feelings hurt, I know.

Nothing prepared me for her reply.

" I think I like a girl... Xx".