Infatuated (girlxgirl)

Burn burn burn the grass (part one)

I was fishing through all my clothes to attempt to find something that was at least minorly nice, something that wouldn't embarrass me as much to make me look like a child in front of the only girl I want.

Jo had asked me last night through text if I wanted to go out with her tomorrow to and I quote, "burn sh*t." Of course I was up for it, its with Jo. She could have asked me to murder my family and burn their bodies and throw the ashes into the sea, (her ideal way to kill somebody) and I would have said yes.

She lived, if I were to walk to hers, about 6 to 7 minutes away from mine, literally a curved road up from me past the Co-op. It was around 9:30, late for me and I still hadn't found an appropriate outfit that I think she would like.

I knew she would look utterly stunning no matter what she wore. She always did anyway. I averted my thoughts from thinking of her changing, and threw a black pair of ripped skinny jeans onto my bed. F*ck it, I'll wear these.

To me, shorts were out of the question, and I either needed a long sleeve shirt or quite a few bracelets. I opted for the latter considering it was too hot outside and I don't want attention on me for "why are you dressing for winter? Roll your sleeves up." From my parents.

I chose my baggy burgundy shirt, short sleeved and some black shoes, since all I had were black, grey and white and they seemed to fit the clothing profile. I pull the jeans from my duvet and slide each leg inside jiggling my body about to slowly but surely pull my jeans up since how skinny they were.

I try not to think about it, they were size 6 and I wasn't ready to move up a size. Either they've shrunken in the many times in the tumble dryer or I'm gaining weight. I note to myself to start going running over the field again or start daily routines on the cross trainer.

I slip the shirt on over my head and push my arms through the holes (that's what she said) and flatten it down to see how big it was on me. Baggy. Extremely. I liked it.

I walk towards my dresser top and reach inside my old children's jewellery box to reach for some bracelets to wear. It wasn't as if I had cuts there still, after all it had been over a month or too since I cut on my wrists but the visible white lines of scars where still there and I like people to think that I'm okay.

It was from the cat, I play with him a lot since he's playful. Only Jo knows I don't have a cat.

I can't quite reach my whole hand inside so I just grab some random bracelets, I'm sure I picked up some odd stray earrings too but as I pull my hand out it caught. As dirty as it sounds, my hand in a fist was too big to get out.

I let go of what I was holding and scrape my hand out. I carry the box over to my bed and plonk it down I lift the lid up that seemed to have fallen closed.

I tip it upside down, emptying the contents of crap. Odd earrings as I suspected, bracelets, a few rings I've brought and never ended up wearing, an old friendship bracelet Harper made that I don't wear anymore. Not because it's childish since I still kind of adore that stuff but because I don't feel as if it fits what me and her are anymore.

I pick out a pair of matching earrings and four black leather bracelets I found in the men's section. They were thick and comfy and looked pretty to me and were better than the sh*tty multicoloured ones.

As I went to put one on it fell out my hands down the side of the bed. My hand can't fit down that side I already know so I got off and crouch down looking underneath. I move a few board games out the way, books too until my hand found it, clutching it as I reach out. I look down to double check it was the right bracelet and saw it was, and my hand was arest on top of my old school bag.