Infatuated (girlxgirl)

Last walk to hell

Do you ever get certain songs that remind you of somebody or something that happened? Because every time, as silly as it sounds, I listen to Demi Lovato because c'mon she's fabulous, I always always always think of Jo since I know she loves her and there's just something in her personality that reminds me of her?

Its the last day of school today and the only thing I'm looking forward to is spending everyday in the six weeks out with Jo, we made a promise. Oh, and also seeing what she's wearing today. She never ceases to amaze me with outfit choices. Some are cute, some are revealing but not slutty, some are for winter, summer, days down the beach she has absolutely everything there is.

I'm on my way out the day to go meet Harper but I'm in black ripped skinny jeans and my grey Gryffindor shirt that was slightly too big, along with matching grey shoes. F*ck knows what Harper is wearing although I will admit, sometimes her choice in clothing isn't all that bad. Like, she has some very nice flannels and some nice dark jeans too but that's about it I think.

Opening the door to leave the house I double check I have everything. Phone, money, house key ect. I do, so I continue my way through the two doors, shutting one and sliding the other. As I walk dowmn thee road I notice other people, girls and boys from my school both in the year below and year above. I look down at my clothes and look up to see I definitely look more like a boy than girl, but then again the girls are dressed in slutty clothing trying to see who can expose more skin. And I'm not sexist, I'm just stating facts.

I walk on, ignoring the world arpoumd me and reach the road I have to cross to meet up with sharper who, surprisingly wasn't wearing anything bad. In fact I liked her outfit. She was wearing a one piece, the shorts not too short but not long either, and a brown belt around her waist to style it out. I was expecting more...revealing clothing but I guess she's changed maybe?

Not too much though, she still wanted to f*ck her boyfriend though she knows she can't since her parents are both always in and she's not allowed boys in her room and Ryan's parents are extremely strict and will only let her in his room if they leave the door open. That's not very good considering his mother walks up and down the stairs every ten minutes, fancy seeing that?

"Ooo, you going for the I'm in love with a girl so I'm going to dress like a boy look?" Harper laughs, taking a few steps forward to meet me. I scowl at her, half joking half honest. "Funny one you are, no it's the first thing I got out my draws so f*ck you," I walk past her though I wait for her to walk beside me.

"How're you and that Slut then?" She asks, standing on my right, clicking the top button of her phone to check the time. I inwardly and outwardly want to explode at her, but then I refuse to as I don't want to start any commotion on the last day of school. I want to leave friends with everybody. "Well aren't you full of jokes today? Me and Jo are great thank you, can't stop speaking to each other," I smile uncontrollably as I think about us and how far we have come.

I see in the corner of my eye Harper rolling hers and I want to mimic her action for the only reason of p*ssing her off for everything she has said about the only person who makes me happy and feel good about myself. Why can't she just be happy for me? Why can't I be happy for me?

"Well, you know my opinion on her so," she throws at me bitterly as if she's trying to make me finally see her point which is completely invalid.

I can't hold it back anymore so I let it all out. "Yes Harper I'm fully aware of your non intelligible reasoning for downright hating the only person I'm really f*cking into and who is into me too, but for your sake what did I do? I chose you over her so count yourself lucky because if I had any respect for myself and any consideration of Jo's feelings I would've said yes and kept it that way but no. I decide to keep the god damn f*cking peace and you're not happy with it f*ck it. I'll do what I want for a change."

Each word escapes my mouth getting louder until I'm nearly shouting walking along side her down the narrow street. She's quiet for about thirty seconds before she throws her hands in the air, above her shoulders and says, "F*cking hell Jesus. I was just saying." I shove my hands in my pockets and counter back, "well so was I."

The rest of our walk to school consists of her ranting and raving on about her relationship with Ryan which seems to be on the rocks abit as he keeps making suicidal jokes and then turning his phone off and refuses to talk to her until she ends up calling his home phone to see if he's still alive. This scares me slightly because I don't ever want to do that to my Jo but sometimes I just don't really think and what if I did end up f*cking up?

The only reason I stayed last time or at least realised I was in the wrong was because she text me back and that was enough. What if she found out? What if she finds out she's the main and only reason I'm still standing and want to be? How !such pressure would I be putting on her?

I shake the thought away. I'd never let it get to that stage. We have to focus on her beautiful little life more than mine. She needs help more than me, I'm okay.

Once we reach school we walk up the stairs, me taking two at a time as always and walk towards the walkway where she meets the guys and where I usually spend the next ten or so minutes staring endlessly at the girl of my dreams and the girl I've kissed twice. Not once but twice. I loved her and I missed being around her when I hang with Harper so I changed route today.

Instead of walking to the boys with Harper I stopped, and turned to walk towards Jo. Her outfit being simple. Light washed blue shorts and a white tank top she seems to love. I smile again, seeing her face and go to hug her as soon as she sees me heading her way.

I take two steps before Harper grabs hold of my wrist, shooting pain up my arm but not as much to make me flinch and turn to her. "What?" I ask. "You seeing her?" She asks me, emphasizing her hatred in the word her. I pull my arm away and say plainly, "Yes I am." And walk the rest of the way, enclosing my arms in Jo's body and hers encasing me.

There's no other place I'd rather be but here.