Compunction

2.9K 236 334
                                    

{Gerard's POV}

"Gerard?"

I suddenly recalled where I was situated and looked at Mikey who was frowning at me from the passenger seat.

"Yes?"

"What's up? You've been really quiet these last few days."

I understood where his worry was deriving from but I wasn't comfortable to speak about what had happened. "I am perfectly adequate. Thank you for your concern."

Mikey didn't seem to believe me. "Is it okay if I call bullshit on that one?"

I sighed and got out of the car, not feeling chivalrous enough to provide a response, and waited for him to follow suit thus I could lock the car.

When he had departed from his seat and I had sealed the lock to the car, we progressed into my small but tolerable home. I had always been rather fond of the house and was proud I had found it at an agreeable price.

I decided to turn the kettle on to provide us each with a refreshing and delectable hot beverage. I unequivocally needed one.

"How's uh... Frank? Is that his name?" My brother's words stopped me in my tracks.

Now, how would one conduct oneself in this situation? "Our relationship has been terminated."

"Oh, really?" He sounded subtly taken by surprise, "How come?"

I belatedly turned to focus on him. My younger brother was perched on the outdated yet comfortable sofa, watching me with vigilant eyes. "I thought you were crazy about him."

I attempted not to show how uneasy I felt about this conference. "I never aforementioned anything of the sort. All you need to perceive is that Mr Iero and myself are no longer involved in any romantic relations. I would prefer we no longer mention such things."

That was all I had to say on the matter and so I turned again to go into the kitchen.

"Suit yourself." I heard as I exited the room.

~

"Enjoy your lunch, all of you. I look forward to our lesson together tomorrow."

I was beginning to feel as though the smile I sent my student's way was more forced than real. At least, for the time being it was.

Frank had not shown up and therefore had eschewed another lesson. That would make it four consecutive days. I had not encountered his presence since our confrontation on Monday afternoon. I was evidently perturbed by his absence.

I had contemplated asking the office to contact his mother but that would negate my attempt to disregard the existence of the whole ordeal. I was already failing.

Once everyone had left the classroom and I was left marooned with my own thoughts, I picked up my briefcase and decided to adjourn off campus for my lunch. I needed a sufficient aberration.

I only made it to the end of the hallway, however. My exit abbreviated by the sight of Mr Thompson's lunchtime detention class through his door window. It was no arcane that Peter Thompson consistently kept certain misbehaved students in his classroom over the lunch break. Customarily, I thought nothing of it. That was until I caught sight of Frank sat among the regulars.

In a moment of perplexity, I considered the dilemma. Eventually, I found myself knocking and entering the room. I wasn't quite sure what my objective was though.

"Excuse me, Mr Thompson?"

I felt a little apprehensive as every set of eyes landed on my existence in the doorway.

"Might I speak with Mr Iero expeditiously? I'll be as brisk as I can."

Mr Thompson nodded, looking back down at the book in his hands.

I turned my attention to the student I had asked for. He looked almost alarmed but still followed me out of the classroom and into the hallway.

It was uncomfortably silent for a few seconds until I decided to question him, "Why haven't you been in class?"

"Was ill." He voice was small as he stared down at his feet.

I frowned slightly, knowing that that wasn't exactly the case. "And today?"

His response was just a shrug and it made me sigh. I didn't like the situation any more than he did. "Frank, if there is anything you would like to say-"

"You're a fucking liar." He cut me off abruptly, looking up with harsh eyes, "Why are you pretending that none of it meant anything to you?"

I was at a loss for words. I had been hoping the subject had been closed and we would never mention it again.

"I obviously was not unhinged if that is what you are implying."

"Stop with the fancy talk."

I could sense that he was angry but mainly upset and for the briefest of moments, I felt some contrition. "Frank, I-"

"Just leave me alone." He apparently did not want to hear my side of the story.

I had no answer to that so he went back into the classroom, shutting the door behind him.

I stared after the trail of sadness he had left behind before finally leaving the building. I needed some air.

I decided to spend my lunch break in my car, staring at myself in the mirror's reflection on the back of my sun visor. Many words came to mind recently when I was faced with my own reflection: failure, idiot, disappointment, washout.

The last ten minutes consisted of my eyes deciding to leak and me persistently wiping them. I had made my decision; why was I deploring it? I had done my crying and my overthinking so why was I back at this stage again?

I had thought it was the right thing to do. That was until he had told me that he loved me. That was what caused me to demur it.

I wasn't sure what I regretted more: the whole relationship or the breakup. I had been a complete cretin and let myself get heavily involved. None of it should ever have happened in the first place.

However, I couldn't help but want it to continue. After all, I loved him too.

Mr WayWhere stories live. Discover now