"So, he hasn't told you shit either then?" Mikey slumped back in his chair, apparently irritated by this fact.
I shook my head, "He's barely spoken to me for over a week. I still don't know why he ended things." I still felt a pang of misery when I thought about last Monday after school and how cold his words had been. "What has he told you?"
Mikey's expression was thoughtful as he replied, "When I asked about you, he said you guys weren't together anymore. I thought this whole thing was to do with you."
"What whole thing?" I was so confused about what was going on. I had thought Gerard was close to his brother. Something really had to be wrong for him not to speak to Mikey about it.
"He's been so distant lately and I honestly thought it was something between you two so when he told me you guys were over, I wasn't really surprised. I mean, I was, but that was mainly because a couple days before, he had been trying to convince me how great you are." He shrugged. "It just seems weird."
I decided not to fixate on the fact that Gerard had thought I was great. What had changed in only a week? "So you think it's something else then?"
"I don't really have any evidence to suggest otherwise. Although, I barely have any evidence. Did you notice he's started smoking again?"
I nodded, a frown appearing on my own face. "I couldn't not notice, really. He reeked of the stuff."
Mikey nodded in thought, leaving a silence to settle between us. I wondered what he was thinking and if there was any way to sort out the mess that had unfolded in less than two weeks. I remembered what I had seen that morning. "He broke his phone."
"What?" Mikey's eyes settled on me again.
"This morning, I caught the end of a strange phone call he was having and at the end of it, he threw his phone onto the ground and stepped on it."
"So he broke it on purpose?" Mikey looked as confused as I felt.
I nodded. "It was really weird. He sounded pretty stressed out."
Who would deliberately break something they used every day? I was sure Steve Jobs had probably cried somewhere when it had happened.
"Do you know who he was on the phone to?"
"No." I sighed, "But it wasn't a normal conversation."
"How do you know? Did you hear any of it?" Mikey asked.
"I only heard the end but it didn't really make much sense. He just seemed really on edge. Probably why he broke his phone."
It was still confusing me a lot. Maybe I should have confronted him about it when it had happened. Although, he had looked stressed enough without me appearing out of nowhere and butting in.
Mikey sighed and shook his head. "To be honest, I think you're the only one he'll listen to."
"I doubt that." I looked down at my hands.
"Worth a try, right?" Mikey's words made me look up again.
I guess it couldn't hurt to try.
I said goodbye to Mikey about ten minutes later and walked home, thinking it all over in my head. I couldn't talk to him about it at school. He seemed too on edge and had too many reasons to brush me aside. So did that mean I had to go to his house?
I stopped walking, thought over my options. Fuck it.
I turned and started in the direction of my teacher's house. Mikey had said he was staying in town so that meant it would be just the two of us. Maybe I could finally get to the bottom of this.
I had plenty of times to turn back during the twenty minute walk but I didn't. I needed to know everything was okay with him. I knew it wasn't though.
By the time I made it to the front door, I was feeling nervous. I took a deep breath and knocked. I was hoping he was actually in. His car was out front though so he had to be.
After a few painfully long seconds, the door opened to reveal the man I was in love with. And he looked... terrible.
"Gerard." I couldn't hide the concern that etched my voice, "What's happened?"
He looked even worse than this morning, if that was possible. He obviously hadn't been sleeping and the stench of alcohol was stronger. I hadn't noticed this morning but I could see that he hadn't shaved for a few days which was unlike him. The stubble on his face went against his usual clean shave look. "Nothing has happened." He looked surprised to see me, "Why are you here, Frank? Our arrangement has dissipated."
"I still care about you." I actually almost felt physically sick at the thought that something bad was happening to him. Why was he pushing me away?
"This is none of your concern. Everything is fine."
I didn't believe it for a second; I wasn't an idiot. "Stop bullshitting me. Something's wrong."
He sighed and started fiddling with his hair like he usually did when he felt uncomfortable. "Relationships diminish, Frank, through no fault of their own. Nothing has to be wrong for me to terminate our affair."
This was actually painful. "Stop spouting crap. I know you, Gerard."
"No, you do not." The words lacked the spite he had intended to speak them with. He looked too tired and upset to drive me away with anger. "You know nothing about me."
I pushed past him, into the Living Room. I couldn't be fucked to repeat myself; we were getting nowhere.
"Frank." He sighed and turned to look at me.
"Shut the door." I ordered, wanting him to finally give in and talk to me.
After staring at me with tired eyes for a few seconds, he actually surprised me by shutting the front door and then crossing his arms. I had thought it would have taken a bit more persuading.
"I know I'm just some stupid kid but I love you and I need to know you're okay." I hadn't realised I'd said the L word yet again until I'd finished the sentence. For fuck's sake, what was wrong with me?
He looked down at the floor, obviously unsure whether or not to speak. In the end, he muttered, "I am completely and utterly satisfactory."
"But that's not true, Gerard. You can tell just by looking at yourself."
He looked up harshly and frowned. "Whatever do you mean?"
I decided to ignore his question by asking my own. "Why haven't you been sleeping?"
The frown slowly left his face again. "I... I am completely fine."
I closed my eyes in anguish. He wasn't going to tell me, was he?
