Chasing Blue

-NINETEEN-

-JJ's P.O.V-

JJ has his eyes focused outside the window of the mini bus. He ignored the grease and spit that was smeared all over the glass and looked at the scenery outside. He was admiring the green trees that flashed by as the bus whizzed on the motorway. Actually that's a lie, JJ was looking out of the window so that he didn't have to face the likes of Claire, or think about Blue and his irrational behaviour. What he pulled at the camp earlier was completely uncalled for especially after all JJ had done for him he still wanted to play those 'I think I'll be a dick' games.

"JJ? Are you okay?" Claire placed her hand on his shoulder and shook it lightly. He turned to her and faked a smile.

"I'm alright, just tired," he shrugged nonchalantly and proceeded to set his gaze outside the window.

Claire scoffed. "Yeah, that's bullshit."

"Claire, please I'm fine," he mumbled.

"Look at me," she pulled his body to face hers. "It's obvious you're sad, Why do you feel like you can't tell me?" She asked. Clearly this girl must be unaware of her tendency to critic every flaw of every person she meets.

"Because when you find a fault in someone you judge them for it," He spoke blunt and honestly, right now he didn't care if his harsh tone or rude words hurt her feelings. She hurt Blue.

She nodded, as it were obvious to her. "Yeah, I do that, it's not right though."

JJ looked at her with confused facial expression. "I know that what I say about people isn't right but I want you to know that I will never ever judge you for anything," the words spilled out of her mouth like the waterfall of melancholy.

JJ didn't say anything, so she continued. "I would never judge you for what you wear, what hobbies you endure in, what music you like, what you look like, what your into because You're one of my closest friends and I love you and I don't discriminate against the people I love, I hope you know that."

JJ was lost for words. He knew she loved him and honestly despite her arrogance and pettiness, he loved her too. JJ nodded and took in a deep breath. He could do this, he could say it. Claire had opened up to him, now it was his turn. After thirteen years of friendship he owed it to her.

"I'm gay."

Claire's eyes widened as did JJ's. Now more than ever he wished he could eat his words and pretend that didn't just happen. His stomach felt like a black hole and it was sucking all his pride into it. I came out to Claire.

She was the last person he'd ever anticipated coming out to but it had happened and there's no going back. He swallowed all his remorse and regret and held his head high.

"You like boys?" Her tone wasn't harsh and angry, as expected it sounded more dazed and flustered. "So, you're a faggot?" Her voice lowed and her eyebrows furrowed.

JJ was taken back by her ruthless tongue. He didn't know whether to say he was or he wasn't because he didn't want to be called a fag but at the same time wasn't he one? He's gay and that's what gays are called in modern society, unfortunately.

"I guess so," he shrugged albeit being scared to death on the inside.

Claire still looked as though she still couldn't wrap her head around the whole thing. She looked at him with an indiscreet look of distaste on her face. "But that's ... Wrong?"

An upshot feeling of pain felt though JJ, it was a result of the wrecking ball of betrayal swinging down and hitting him in the chest, making his heart hurt.

"JJ, this isn't right, you're sick!" She whispered her words becoming less wary and more rash.

He shook his head. "So much for not discriminating against the people you love!" He shot at her.

"That was before I knew you were a poof!" She hissed back. Her words spit like fire. JJ shuddered at the word. "I bet that's why you keep hanging around that little blue haired prick," She was putting two and two together.
"I know he's a gay! Oh my god, you and Blue pubes are fucking faggots together!"

She breathed out in anger. "After everything we've been though, you decide to be gay?" She asked as she moved away from him in her seat.

"This isn't about you,Claire, you aren't the one who has to go through this!" He fumed, his anger finally unleashing.

"No I don't because I didn't chose to be a Lezzie," she said, rolling her eyes in the process.

JJ placed his hands on Claire's shoulders but she shrugged him off like he was a disease. "You think I wanted this? You honestly think I'd chose to put myself though this? All the bigotry and prejudice towards me? My parents might hate me, you know, just like you do, I've lost a friend because of something I can't change about myself, it hurts and it's something I would never ask for!" He ended his rant by wiping a tear off of his face.

Claire gave him an unreadable look before grabbing her suitcase and handbag. "Stay away from me," she said quietly before standing up and walking to the back of the bus.

He threw his head back and covered his crying face with his hands. He kept his sniffles and whimpers on minimum volume. Last thing he needs is a teacher coming over and babying him. It's probably better that he's alone right now anyway, just Incase he opens his big mouth and comes out to the whole of London.

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-KILLJOY'S GHOST XXX