Chasing Blue

-TWENTY-

-Blue's P.O.V-

The buss drive was long, longer than it was on the way here, it has only been 10 minutes but to blue it felt at least over 30. Maybe it was because JJ wasn't here to keep him company, maybe it was because he was tired, or ashamed.

He let out a sigh, letting his head rest against the buss window solemnly watching the roads fly past him, his eyes bobbing back and forth as he tried to keep sights on the white lines that split the lanes as a pass time.

His mind wandered, to his home, his mum his dad, back to the camp and then to JJ. He turned up the music in his head phones trying to block out the blissful memories from that night. He doesn't know why but he just feels wrong for having sex with JJ. The whole idea of sex with meaning seemed foreign to him, he did loose his own virginity to a lying thief anyway. In fact he half expected JJ to be gone by the time he woke up, a part of him wanted him to be gone too. As if it never happened.

Though the night was beyond amazing, blue felt in ways that he had never felt before. I fact it was hard to belive he was a virgin in the first place, the way he moved, swirled, sucked...

"For fucks sake, you idiot." He hissed to himself, slamming the side of his head with his fist. That night never should've happened, it feels so wrong because -as cheesy as it sound- intercourse with JJ felt so goddamn right. And that scared the shit out of him.

He'd never woken up after a night of lustful action and felt so godamn happy, he didn't know how to react, he'd always been used to having the asshole sit up in bed, get dressed then leave him and come back when he eventually got bored. That's all Blue knew, so when faced with something that was different, he did what he did best. He ran.

The bus pulled up outside the school. It's took a while to park considering how overcrowded it was with the cars of all the impatient parents who are eager to ask their teenager about the trip. There was no doubt that Eddie would take the role of his mother and ask all the annoying questions.

Blue grabbed his case and started pushing his way through bus. He noticed JJ getting closer to him so he pushed even harder until he got to the steps.

As soon as he was free from the overwhelming smell of bio and mouldy cheese that was lingering in the dusty air of the bus he started looking for Eddie's car. It shouldn't be hard to spot, it's bright fucking red.

He looked around frantically when he saw JJ walking up to him. Panic took over his body. Shitty fuck fuck.

"Blue, I think we need to talk," JJ said and he stood by his side. Blue closed his eyes and looked away.

"We don't have anything to talk about," he mumbled.

JJ cursed under his breath and grabbed Blue's shoulder. Blue's face was forced to look at JJ. "You're telling me that there's absolutely nothing to talk about? Are you kidding me?" Blue was surprised, he'd never seen JJ so fiery.

He didn't like doing this, it was dick move but he didn't want to get his heart broken again. "Yeah, we had oral sex? So what? It's not like it meant anything," Blue shrugged. Maybe if he convinced himself that what he was saying is true then this whole ordeal would become less painful.

"It meant something to me, heck, it meant everything to me!" JJ grip on Blue's shoulder loosened. "Don't do this Blue, please, I need someone right now, I need you."

Blue felt like a piece of dirt that was being sucked into the vacuum cleaner that is remorse. His stomach tied into knots of guilt. I need you too. He longed to shout the words, tell them loud enough for the world to hear but he couldn't. The last time he'd said such endearing words everything crumbled to the ground and he was alone with nothing but his self-hatred and broken heart.

"Please leave," Blue tried to act strong and untouchable. He looked at JJ's eyebrows because his eyes were full of forlorn and it made Blue shiver.

JJ grabbed the handle of his suitcase. "This isn't over." He walked and turned away. Blue watched him as he walked with his head down and his suitcase dragging behind him.

A loud car horn sounded, causing Blue to snap away form JJ. He looked over and spotted an exited Eddie in the red car. He smiled sheepishly and waved.

-

Blue sat down in the black leather chair. He kept his gaze away from the large mirror opposite him, he didn't want to look at himself right now.
"So, same as last time?" Christina's voice echoed in his ear as she bent to his level.

Blue nodded. Christina, the large, rather excitable hairdresser, began mixing up his hair dye in one of her little bowls. "I hope you don't mind but I think, seeing as it's winter, I'll make it a shade darker this time," she told him.

He didn't give a shit. He just wanted his hair doing. Eddie was sat on the White sofa, reading a hair magazine and waiting patiently. It'd take a while, he was thankful for her patience. He knew he couldn't take his mother with him because she'd do nothing but nag him about getting it done a natural colour. Funny story, the first time he had it coloured blue he didn't tell his mum so when he came home, she absolutely hit the roof. "Why would you do that!" She shouted, she then went on to talk about how his hair will fall out and how he'll be bald by thirty and how his grandmother will hate the hair and blah blah blah.

"Okay, let's begin!" Christina began adding the dye to his hair. She was gentle as she place the tin foil over each bit she coloured. Is this how the tin man from the wizard of oz felt?

Blue slouched a little in the chair and let his mind wander. He though of random things like when he was going to take Eddie and Jessie the cinema to watch finding dori. Finding Nemo is Jessie's favourite movie so she'd love Finding Dori. He liked to think of all this randomness to distract himself from the real problem at hand. His problem may be indescribably sexy but was a problem nonetheless. He thought, long and hard, what if I gave JJ a chance? Would everything turn out dandy and they'd pride into the sunset on a massive white horse? Or would it just be a reply of the James fiasco. He wouldn't be able to go through that again. I'm such a drama queen.

::::

I lost the original ending of the chapter by accident, I'm really pissed off. Anyway I've re-written it, not as good but best as I can remember.

-KILLJOY'S GHOST XXX