Skinny Love

Shaken up

Chapter 10

Nicole's POV:

It's been three days since the divorce. And just a little ago my dad called me. About him having thoughts. Luckily I talked him out of it.

"Sadie told us what happened." Some one said. I look over to see Ash. I just looked down not really wanting to talk.

"Can I at least get a smile?" Ash asked. I shook my head.

"I know how it feels to lose a parent." Ash said. "My dad left me."

"At least your mom didn't have an affair." I said shutting my notebook.

"At least you had your dad." He said.

"Sorry." I said. "Look I'm just gonna go."

"No. Please." Ashton said grabbing my wrist.

"Can I tell you something?" I asked.

"Anything." He said looking at me.

"Have you ever. How do I put this." I said.

"What. Had thoughts of suicide." He said.

"Yeah." I said. His face softened.

"Please tell me you don't." He said.

"No it's just.... My dad called me about it. I had to talk him out of it." I said. It's like all of my secrets come out when I'm with Ashton. I trust him and I don't even know how. I'm so use to guys being dicks that when these four came around. I didn't know what to do. Two of them know my life story. Calum and Ashton.

"I'm so sorry, Nikki." Ashton said pulling me in a hug.

"I don't know what to do anymore, Ash." I said.

"Hey your gonna get through this." Ash said.

"I don't know what I would do if I haven't met you." I said.

"Uh duh. You wouldn't have met us." Ashton said.

"Smart ass." I said giggling.

"There's that smile." Ashton said bopping my nose.

"Weirdo." I said.

"I am hurt by that." He said looking hurt.

"You can have fun being hurt. I have stuff to do." I said.

"What you doing?" He asked.

"Song writing." I said.

"Can I join?" He asked.

"As long as your quiet." I said opening up my book. He stayed quiet for awhile.

"Psst." Ash said.

"Pssssssst."

"Psssssssst Nikki."

"What Ashton." I said.

"Hi." He said giggling. I just rolled my eyes.

"Whatcha writing." He said out of the blue.

"Stuff and thangs." I said (A/n The Walking Dead anyone.... No okay I'll go*hides in a closet*)

"I'm so bored." He said.

"It's only been 1 minuet." I said.

"So bored!" He said.

"Okay fine. What do you want to do."I said.

"Can we go for a walk?" He asks.

"Fine. Let's go." I said getting up. I threw on red converses.

"I told everyone we're going for a walk, and now they're joining us." He said. I pulled out my headphones and plugged them in. I started walking with out them. Call me a bitch and stubborn, but I just need sometime alone. When everyone wants to know why I ignore them. They just go at it at the same time. Right know I really don't have a answer. I just need time alone. Away from society. A way to get my thoughts strait. Just a simple way of escaping reality. But you can't get that when your in a band, or if your not being yourself. I felt a tap on my shoulder to see that it's Calum. I pull out a headphone and look at him.

"What's up with you." Calum said.

"Haven't you heard. My mom is a whore." I said.

"Don't say that about her." Calum said.

"Why it's the truth." I said letting my anger out.

"Nicole it's still not right." Calum said.

"She was married to a guy for almost 22 years, and she goes off and ruins it. So tell me what's not right." I said.

"Maybe she had a reason." Calum said.

"A reason!" I said raising my voice.

"Yes a reason." Calum said.

"No one has a reason to have an affair! Rather than being smart and causing a divorce." I said.

"Maybe she didn't love him." Calum said.

"Then she could've told him.... Instead of fucking some guy!" I said.

"Nicole!" Calum said.

"You know what. I'm done. I'm done with everyone taking her side. Oh wow she saved a kid. Oh wow she ruined my life. Oh wow she blamed me for shit I didn't do. She swore I was just a bloody mistake. A fucking curse to the family, because I'm not just like her. I'm not Sadie. I'm not this perfect picture daughter that she wanted. All she wanted was my best friend. Why. Because Sadie this. Sadie that. That's all she cares about. Was to make Sadie perfect. She didn't care about her husband. Her first born. All she cared about was having this perfect daughter that she couldn't have. So I don't want to hear how great she was. Or that she made a mistake!" I said.

"Nicole Hailey Ross!" Calum said.

"Just fuck off. All of you." I said walking off.

Calum's POV:

"Calum what the hell just fucking happened." Sadie yelled.

"I don't know she just flipped out on me." I said.

"I didn't know she felt like that." Luke said.

"It's easy to hide the anger and pain." Ashton said.

"Wouldn't you know." Sadie said.

"The hell is that suppose to mean." Ashton said.

"That's all she ever talks about. Is you." Sadie said.

"You make it sound like a bad thing." Ashton said.

"It's not. Your the first guy to actually open her back up." Sadie said.

"I'm so confused right now." Michael said.

"Nicole doesn't have the best life. After her mom adopted me. I was the center. Our brothers didn't mind because well they had dad. Nicole on the other hand was alone. Her mom didn't care about her. She could careless if Nikki would jump off a bridge. As the time dragged on. Her mom tried making me into her. Nicole had a boyfriend. Owen. He wasn't the best. He would abuse her with words. She was insecure. That later lead to Owen used her for sex." Sadie said.

"We didn't know that." I said.

"No one does." Sadie said.

"We should go look for her." Ashton said.

"I would give some space. Please Ash." Sadie said.

"Only for an hour." Ashton said.

"Deal." Sadie said.

"You really care for her. Don't you mate." I said to Ash.

"More than anything." Ashton said.