Let me in (S.M)

one

song I recommend for this chapter: Tenerife Sea by Ed Sheeran

I find myself here almost every day now, even though I barely have the time; I make the time, just so I can look at her.

She always sits facing me, in a small booth. Her hair is the colour of melting chocolate, it reaches just below her collarbone but she often has it tied back in a small ponytail. This just allows me to see her face clearer. She wears glasses, they are black, fairly thick frames with speckles of red on them. Her eyes, when I can see them, are the colour of the sea on a rainy day: they are mixed and stormy but interesting and dark. She doesn't seem to wear makeup, which she definitely doesn't need. Her nose fits her face perfectly, as does her lips. She always sticks her tongue out to the side slightly when she's concentrating and she usually is, since when I always see her, she's drawing. A drawing pad sits in front of her and she's always hunched over it, she sometimes brings her knees up to her chest and rests the pad on her lap. She also always orders a black coffee.

She never notices me, she's always too interested in her drawing but I have noticed her once or twice look up and look around the room, trying to find something but I never know what since she never gives it away.

I walk in to the coffee shop, my laptop in my backpack. I smile at the cashier, ordering a cup of tea before collecting it and walking over to where I usually sit. I turn to see she isn't here today, which is unusual, seen as she's always here before me and long after I go. I begin editing my video when the bell above the door rings and I see her walk in. Today, she's wearing a pair of high-waisted black jeans and a forest green flannel, that is unbuttoned and shows a grey vest. She has a black beanie on and is hiding her hair underneath it. Her black bag is swung over her shoulder and she happily smiles at the cashier and orders her black coffee, waiting. I see a man walk behind her, ordering a drink and he strikes a conversation up with her. I internally groan at his confidence, wishing I could be like that. She smiles, before pointing out of the window and down the street. The man nods and smiles back, receiving his order before walking back out. She takes her black coffee and walks to her usual spot. She places the coffee down and gets her sketch pad out, her pencil scribbling against the paper as she occasionally stops to take a sip of her drink. Every so often she looks up and she catches me looking at her. She smiles lightly, before going back to drawing.

She smiled at me.

I finish editing my video, I place my laptop back in to my backpack before getting up and slinging it around my shoulder as I walk out. I walk past the window and look to her once more, to find she's looking back at me. I smile at her this time, to which she smiles back. I continue walking and begin to feel something bubble up in my stomach and realise what it is: happiness.

I walk in to the house to hear JJ rapping. I walk in to the kitchen to find Tobi and Josh talking.

"Hey." I nod to them, opening the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water.

"Where you been?" Josh asks.

"Just to that coffee shop, they've got good internet." I reply, sitting at the kitchen island.

"Sure, that's why you go." Tobi winks, laughing.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I smile.

"It's that girl, the one you told me about the first time you went there." Josh answers me.

"No, it's not." I meekly reply.

"You're the worst liar ever." Tobi laughs.

"What's her name?" Josh asks.

"Uh-I, I mean-I-" I struggle to find an answer and Josh interrupts me.

"You haven't even spoken to her? You've been going there for close to three weeks."

"It's hard, what, do I just walk straight up to her and say 'hey, I think you're really pretty and you seem cool, let's date'?" I sarcastically reply.

"We'll go with you tomorrow, believe me, we can help with this." Tobi grins, patting me on the shoulder.

"How can you help me?" I ask.

"Because, unlike you, me and Josh can actually talk to girls without having a minor heart attack." Tobi responds.

We go back the next day, to find her sitting in the same place she is always sitting in. Her hair is loose and wavy. She's wearing a long sleeved, slightly baggy, charcoal-grey top. She has a pair of skinny, black jeans on and some slip on, check-board Vans. Whilst we're ordering our drinks, I see her pull her sleeves up and lean back, bringing her knees up and resting her sketch pad on her lap.

"That her?" Josh ask, not looking at her but at me.

I nod, taking my eyes off her to collect my drink. We walk to my table and sit, Tobi next to me and Josh opposite.

"She's pretty." Tobi acknowledges.

"Yeah, I know, why else would I come here?" I scoff.

She looks up and around the room, her eyes glancing over mine as she continues to survey the room.

"So, help me." I usher them in to action.

"Just go up to her." Josh shrugs, like it's obvious.

"Seriously? That's your advice?" I moan.

"What else can we say?" Josh replies.

Just as I go to answer, I hear the all too familiar sound of an iPhone ringtone. I look up to see it's her and she answers it, her face falling. I feel myself frown at her unhappiness. She looks mad now. She hangs up and grabs her bag and quickly makes her way out of the shop.

"That was weird right, it's not just me who thought that?" Josh mumbles, as we watch her leave.

"No, it was weird." Tobi agrees.

I can't seem to muster up any type of response as I watch her frazzled-state leave the building in one swift motion that I wish I could've asked if she's okay.

I hope she's okay.

As we begin to leave the shop, something catches my attention. Her sketch pad. Lying on her table, helplessly. I, without thinking, grab it and slide it in to my backpack, but not before looking at her drawing. I study it and see it's the front of the coffee shop. I look and feel myself smile. 

There I am.

Sitting in my booth.

Looking at her.